Author: Maruf Hossain
On April 5, 2021, two brothers Farhan and Tanvir Towhid, killed four family members and themselves as a murder-suicide case startled the Dallas, Texas, and Bengali communities. The horrific story startled the nation, which ended up being a pre-planned situation due to facing years of depression. Farhan, the lead culprit in planning this, wrote a suicide note explaining the whole situation and why he is doing this on his Instagram account. His explanation in taking the life of his beloved family was that there is no sadness in his immediate family after his death.
Farhan, who had been struggling with severe depression since 2016 in the 9th grade, writes about how he used to cut himself, sometimes multiple times a day, during tests. The psychological state of mind was undetected even by his psychiatrist. He explains how in the winter of 2016, he hit his breaking point and told his dad about his depression, and the dad put him in what he describes as a “teen mental health camp.” With taking medication that seemed to work, teaching coping mechanisms, getting into the University of Austin in Texas and its computer science program, and making good grades, it was still not enough to live.
Farhan describes how his life seemed to be perfect; he had it all. The education he wanted, the grades any desi parent would want for their child, a girlfriend to be by his side, living a healthier lifestyle by losing weight, so what could be the issue? No matter how perfect life was, depression was not something that was able to be resolved. He, later on, explains how these routine lifestyle people live their entire life was not the point of life. There had to be more to life than living a daily life where you repeat the same thing every day. The other aspect of all of this was his support system. His family seemed to be the only one there for him and be by his side. However, his friends eventually dropped, not knowing how to handle a child being depressed all the time. No matter what was going on in his life, he never found happiness. Ultimately, the ripple effects started to show in his life and his grades. People seemed to have started joking with him about being depressed, knowing he was medically depressed. Ultimately, no one in society except his family was there for him. And even then, the effectiveness of a “teen mental health camp” is questionable.
The Analysis
Long story short, both brothers were depressed in life; however, we don’t know much about the brother Tanvir and his depression story, and they had planned the murder-suicide and carried out the plan. A case that startled the community and society at large still has a lot of questions than answers. The teenage years can be the most confusing and difficult times of any child’s life. Furthermore, having depression without understanding the root cause of the depression makes it that much difficult, from being depressed to sharing a story with his suitemate, dropping out of college, and then being immensely occupied by the popular show “The Office,” to ultimately not understanding the meaning of life due to a lack of happiness.
The older brother, Tanvir Towhid, came into Farhan’s room, and on February 21, 2021, made a proposition that if things can’t be fixed in a year, they would kill themselves and the family. Among the family, their mother, father, sister, and a visiting grandmother were the victims of the murder, and then Farhan and Tanvir taking their own life. As per the letter, if February 2021 was the day planned for the murder-suicide, then what happened between February 21 to April 5 for the whole situation to occur in 1.5 months from the day they planned this?
I am willing to look at this from Carl Roger’s perspective of self-actualization. This whole situation is based on how Farhan viewed his situation, which Rogers focused on. To understand the meaning of life and self-actualize means for a person to understand their full potential. Of course, self-actualization in itself comes from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Rogers, in this case, would look at where the situation for Farhan and Towhid started falling apart. Unfortunately, it isn’t easy to understand these forms of the situation unless we knew more about this situation that caused this to occur. However, the climax in this situation seems to be how society left Farhan to be on his own. Society seemed to have never truly understood his situation and rather mock his disorder. His family looked to be the only one there for him, but this letter more so looked to have ultimately blame society for the demise. Hence, the takeaway from this case is to understand every individual for who they are.
I chose to understand this case study from Roger’s perspective because he always understood an individual from his Client-Centered Therapy Perspective. I believe everyone should understand individuals from a client-centered therapy perspective. Farhan and Towhid seemed to be two academically brilliant students who ultimately were looking for answers to the purpose of life and were hit by society’s way of shoving an individual to the side and not being there to understand and hear out an individual. Ultimately, by reading the suicide note, things might have started falling apart long before getting into college.
While Farhan was making good grades, had supportive parents, a girlfriend, and was at one point “popular,” his search for purpose in his life and being in a constant 24/7 depressed state drove people away from him. It is safe to assume he may have gone through a breakup in the 10th grade with his girlfriend as well. Much has not been answered, and surprisingly, almost a month of the case, and there hasn’t been any follow-up to the case by the authorities.
A few things to discover from a psychological perspective are understanding what this “teen mental health camp” was and how effective was it? An interview with Farhan’s psychiatrist at the camp should have been done to understand the situation. The takeaway message in all of this is dear society; always keep an eye out on your friends and peers. This world and its people are too cruel for innocent and young lives to be taken by such devastating situations. These situations can be prevented if only society cared enough to understand an individual and not bully every person different from the social norm.
Concluding Remarks
I have a personal connection and understanding of this situation because I also went through similar situations and was suicidal in high school. However, I also knew the religious consequences of my life from suicide. Every individual is different, and that should not mean an individual needs to suffer on their own. When someone is crying out for help, please do not drop the person and leave them. Please be an ear and a shoulder to cry on for them. Learn to be more empathetic to a person’s situation and hear them out.
From an Islamic religious perspective, suicide is a major sin. Allah says in the Qur’an, Surah Nisa, And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. [Qur’an 4: 29]
And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason [Qur’an 6: 151].
We also know the hadith in which Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had stated as stated by Abu Huraira, Whoso hurls himself down from a mountain and thus kills himself will be in Hell hurling himself down therein, abiding therein and being accommodated therein forever; whoso takes poison and thus kills himself, his poison will be in his hand; he will be tasting it in Hell, always abiding therein, and being accommodated therein forever; and whoso kills himself with gun [lit., “piece of iron”], his gun will be in his hand; he will be shooting himself therewith against his belly in Hell, abiding therein and being accommodated therein forever.
In conclusion, with the Farhan and Towhid situation, it is still uncertain to say for sure what will happen to the two in the hereafter. We do not know the exact details of their situation to understand what led them to suicide. We should not assume anything bad and, in this case, assume anything at all about the two. We leave that to the hands of Allah. However, in the case of the family members killed, we hope Allah accepts them as shahid.
Maruf Hossain has a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Hunter College and a Master of Arts in Psychology from PACE University in NYC. Maruf’s background is in developmental psychology, with his career in research staring in the summer of 2017 and his work in the field has been mainly on Autism. Maruf joined Amirazz, formerly known as Muslim Marriage Matrimonials, in January 2019, starting in the adverts team, moving to the member approval team as a manager, and now serving in the Amirazz executive board. He hopes to lead the counseling and therapy section of Amirazz in the future.
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