5 Budget-Friendly Ways to Prep Your Home for Your Wedding Day
If you’re hosting any wedding events at your home or letting some of your guests spend the night, you might be nervous about guaranteeing that the space looks perfect for the big day. Whether you’re holding a welcome party at your house, having a backyard wedding, or inviting your future in-laws to stay in the guest room, you’ll need to prepare your home without breaking the bank. Today, I share some suggestions to help you track your home renovations, create cute photo collages for decor, and clean up your home to get ready for hosting.
Document Any Major Changes
If you need to tackle any big home renovation projects before your wedding day, don’t forget to document the proof! Furthermore, consider which projects could provide a return on investment in the long run if you decide to sell your home. Whether you’re tackling these projects with a DIY approach or you’ve hired contractors to renovate your house, make sure to take before and after photos to illustrate the improvements you’ve made for future buyers. You can also hold on to receipts to keep track of the costs.
Deep Clean First
Deep cleaning your home before any guests arrive is essential, and you don’t have to hire a professional to get it done. Instead, save money by cleaning on your own! Budget Dumpster recommends going room by room and paying special attention to your kitchen, bathrooms, and guest room.
Hosting Your Wedding at Home
If you’re getting married at home, you’ll want to look for a tent rental company with reasonable prices to set up your backyard, use decor you already own or borrow from your family and friends when possible, and cover basic folding tables with nice tablecloths to save money. The Budget Savvy Bride also states that you’ll need to start setting up very early in the day since you’re essentially building your venue from scratch. Enlisting your loved ones to help out is a good idea!
Throwing a Welcome Party
If you have lots of guests from out of town who are coming to your wedding, you may be planning to throw a welcome party at your house to greet them. Take the time to curate some memorable details. For example, you could assemble photo collages of you and your future spouse. Try different photo combinations to see what looks best! You can use a personalized college template to explore creative possibilities.
Accommodating Overnight Guests
Maybe some of your close friends or relatives will be sleeping at your house on the night of your wedding. Naturally, you’ll want to make sure that they feel comfortable. Put out fresh bedding in the guest room, stock up on travel-size toiletries for their convenience, and make sure to leave out a note with your Wi-Fi password clearly displayed. With all of these details taken care of, your guests will be able to fully relax!
If you’re having guests stay at a hotel or other accommodations, you should still ensure that your house is ready for the next day. Keep some snacks in your pantry and fridge so that you don’t need to cook when you’re exhausted!
Weddings are stressful enough, especially when you’re holding certain events at your home. But you can make your guests feel comfortable on a budget! With these tips, you can tackle everything from creating homemade photo collages to photographing any big home renovations.
Author: Diane Harrison
Diane is the founder of Health PSA. Diane decided to create Health PSA after seeing how many people came into the library seeking more info on health and specific medical conditions. She thought it would be great to create a resource for people where they can find easy-to-understand info rather than medical jargon. View all posts by Diane Harrison
Amirazz is here to create a secure online community for Muslims to help manage the needs and goals of marriage. Call 1-807-358-1820.
If you struggle with anxiety, you’re not alone. Most of us experience some anxiety during stressful events, like speaking in front of a group or driving in heavy traffic. Today, Amirazz Matrimonial Services offers some tips on recognizing and managing anxiety to keep it from holding you back.
Unlike panic attacks which occur suddenly and trigger extreme physical symptoms like chest pain, anxiety attacks tend to build gradually over a period of excessive worry. Verywell Mind explains that when anticipatory anxiety builds until it reaches an overwhelming level of stress, it may feel like an attack. During an anxiety attack, you may experience difficulty concentrating, restlessness, irritability, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, increased heart rate, and muscle tension.
Generally, these symptoms are less intense than those associated with panic attacks, but they are similarly debilitating and difficult to control. What’s more, the symptoms of anxiety can persist for days, weeks, or even longer. Thankfully, there are a number of things you can do to ease persistent anxiety and cope with your symptoms.
Work to Reframe Your Anxiety
Many people with anxiety disorders see anxiety as a lifelong, uncontrollable illness that’s impossible to manage. Changing how you think about anxiety can empower you to take charge instead of feeling powerless. Reframing your experience with anxiety can lead to personal growth. Accept anxiety as a normal experience instead of shaming yourself for feeling this way.
In the process of reframing your anxiety, you might discover opportunities to cut unproductive stress out of your life. For example, if your job is causing a lot of unnecessary stress, consider going back to school for a career change! Earning an online degree in IT, business management, or marketing can open up several new career paths. Learning online will make it much easier to juggle your life while you work towards your career change.
Learn Techniques to Calm Your Stress Response
Managing anxiety is a daily practice. Make daily choices that regulate your nervous system, retraining your brain to react calmly to different situations instead of defaulting to a state of fight or flight. Keep some relaxation techniques in your back pocket to calm your stress response when you feel on the brink of an anxiety attack. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and mindfulness meditation can all effectively reduce anxiety in just a few minutes. You can also greatly facilitate an improved stress response by optimizing your home of wellness – that is, focus on positive thinking, as free of self-doubt and negativity as possible.
Exercise Every Day
Countless studies have shown that exercise helps to relieve anxiety. According to ADAA, aerobic exercise is particularly beneficial for decreasing overall levels of tension and stimulating anti-anxiety effects throughout the body. In fact, exercise works incredibly quickly to relieve anxiety. A 10-minute walk can be just as effective as a 45-minute sweat session!
Make Time for Moments of Slowness
Slowing down can also help you tap into your body’s relaxation response. Your brain is bound to run a mile a minute when you’re rushing around trying to check off everything on your to-do list. Instead, try to slow down and pay attention to the moment. Be present, disconnect, and do less. Pick up a hobby or two that helps you slow down and move more mindfully. Yoga, meditation, hiking, gardening, reading, or cooking can all serve as fantastic mindfulness practices.
Anxiety is one of the most debilitating mental health issues. But because it’s so common, many of us assume there’s no way to treat it or improve how we feel. Easing anxiety and preventing anxiety attacks is possible! Just like a regular yoga practice can loosen your muscles, a regular mental health practice can train your mind to relax.
About the Author: Diane is the founder of Health PSA. Diane decided to create Health PSA after seeing how many people came into the library seeking more info on health and specific medical conditions. She thought it would be great to create a resource for people where they can find easy-to-understand info rather than medical jargon.
Amirazz Matrimonial Services supports the Muslim community worldwide by creating a secure and safe online community and supportive environment that manages the needs and marriage goals of our sisters and brothers. Call 807-358-1820.
The year 2020 was a new and exciting begining for me. I met a wonderful lady from Indonesia a few years back and we decided to get married after communicating for sometime. I realised I had found the right person for me and I moved to Indonesia.
Skyline of Bandung as seen from Cihampelas area with the Pasupati bridge prominently features in the foreground
We live in a city called Bandung, which is about two hours drive from Jakarta, the capital city. As a foreigner, I noticed how different things are done culturally in Indonesia. Many things are different from what I was used to in the United States of America, of course not in a negative way. Here I will mention some of my personal experiences, please understand that not all will encounter the same situation, it depends on the community around the person and the area they live in.
Rice, Rice, and Rice
Indonesian staple food is rice. They eat rice three times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
There is a saying that If you have not eaten rice, then you haven’t eaten yet. Even most of the snacks are made from rice or rice flour.
Here is a true and interesting story:
A brother that I know told me about his experience when he went to a pizza place. That was his first time going there. When his order arrived, which was a pan of pizza, he was so angry and dissapointed because it didn’t come with rice. He was so unimpressed that the manager had to intervene. The manager of the place had to calm him down and gave explanations on why rice was not served as part of the Pizza. That is how much they love rice!
Motorcycles
Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle. I have been riding on the back of motorbikes. My wife still remembers how I was against it at the begining of my stay in Indonesia, but here I am now, a pure Indonesian, riding on the back of a motorcycle holding things like an expert enjoying a flamboyant motorcade.
When I said Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle, I mean in many ways than one; refrigerators, washing machines, goats, ladders and a family of five, yes a family of five! To paint a clear picture of how a family of five can ride a motorcycle in this beautiful new home of mine, here is an idea: the oldest child is in the front of the father who is riding the motorbike, the second child is between the father and mother, and the mother is holding and nursing the baby. It’s normal to see three, four or five on the motorbikes.
Their outfit when riding a motorcycle is another thing to write home about. Sometimes I see the riders wearing a thick jacket or a leather jacket during day time at 90F, but they also wear their jacket when the weather is cool, yet they still wear shorts and flip flops, leaving me to think don’t their waists and legs feel cold?
The Stares
Depending on the area, a foreigner will most probably get some stares. Yes, everybody stares, from an old lady in a rickshaw who turned her head 180 degrees to a motorbike rider, a gas station employee, to a six months old baby on his mom’s lap. All have stared at me from head to toe and from toe to head. Some of them have enough courage to say “Hi” and try to start a conversation. Some kids just yelled behind my back and call me “Hey Arab!”.
I understand that I do not look like most people in Indonesia and they are confused on what to call me and who I am. To make it even distinct, I am somehow easier to recognize since my body height is taller than most Indonesian men, but for me, my appearance should not be a reason for people to stare because I am a human being like everybody else. Afterall, we are Bani Adam.
Gotong Royong
It is translated as Communal work. A few months ago I was lucky enough to participate in a gotong royong, we were working to fix one of our neighbour’s house. The house owner name is Pak Dodo, he was forced to rent another house because his own house is unlivable since the roof was severely damaged. The community leader was organizing a comittee and asking people to participate, in any way, financially, physically or just with moral support. Everybody is working and participating in any way. We finally finished the project in less than a week and Pak Dodo can live in his own house again, Alhamdulillah. This is how the muslim community should be, everyone should help when one is in need or when something needs to be done for the public.
Halal Food and Adhan
Masājid or mosques are everywhere and most food are halal. Indonesia has a high population of Muslims hence, you can find mosques easily, almost in every corner of the street. I used to say jokingly to my friends in the US, that we hear adhān more than 5 times a day, because the mosques are close to each other. When one starts the adhan, the other starts to say the azan as well.
A mosque from Bandung. Photo credit: factsofindonesia.com
Going back to food, I have been gaining weight since I moved here, so you know the food is good especially when your wife is an excellent cook!
For newcomers, you can easily find halal food just around the corner. My first Indonesian word is “Ayam” which means “chicken” because I can easily spot this word everywhere. Mie Ayam, Bubur Ayam, Ayam Goreng, Ayam Geprek, Soto Ayam and more ayam. Chickens have a rough life here. LOL.
It is always in my prayers to let me out of the USA, alhamdulillah Allah answered my prayers and I moved to the largest muslim country in the world. I thank Allah for my wife and for my new life. My advice for those who are willing to move to Indonesia are be open minded and keep yourself informed that Indonesia is a huge country with different cultures and languages, make good relationships with the locals and treat others as human and you will be treated as human.
About the author: Ali A. Karim is an artist by nature. History enthusiast. Muslim by choice. He considers Arts as the culture of humanity. To him, Art tells the history of the world. Art is the truth and proof of God. Just look at HIS creation.
And Allah Guides whom He wills to a straight path.
Surah Al-Baqarah/ Ayah213
Destination Unknown
Reverting back to Islam can be an incredibly challenging time for many. Suddenly we are faced with this overwhelming feeling that everything that we were once taught, everything that we grew up believing to be true, may in fact not be. As warm and welcoming as the feeling of coming to Allah subhanahu wa ta ala may be, we also may begin to feel lost, confused, afraid, and very alone. Along with these feelings comes a great deal of insecurity and doubt. It feels like there is no end to the many questions that are now running through our minds. Then the intense fear of how and where we will find the answers begins. Where do we go from here?
The Journey Begins
So now that we have found ourselves embarking on this beautiful journey, how and where do we begin to find the much needed support and sense of security that we need to help us along? A little reassurance if you will. Naturally we will first look towards our brothers and sisters in Islam. Maybe in our local, mosque or community in general. That too however can be a little intimidating. Nevertheless, we look towards those who we assume will have the answers to our many questions. Whether because they were raised in the faith, or because they have traveled down this road before. We hope that they will be able to help guide us and put us on the right path. Once we have made these connections, we tend to solely rely on those individuals to navigate us, sort of acting as our GPS. We think that because they have been down this road before, they can provide us with the resources that we need. Although there are plenty of resources such as books, articles, websites, and videos to help guide us, it is very comforting having someone by our side who can provide not only guidance, but also something that no text can provide, companionship. Remember, many reverts are feeling isolated right now. Most of our families have pulled away because they don’t approve nor do they understand the change we’ve made. Still it is important that we remember that although our newfound friendships bring us connections that we’ve been missing, we must remind ourselves that they are still human just like us. Maybe they too are struggling in their own way. Perhaps they are still working on their journey and struggling along the way. Maybe they have been misguided. Oftentimes we will say it’s okay and look past all of that. They are human and are not perfect, and besides, it beats the feeling of being alone. The feeling of isolation that many reverts feel can be overwhelming. Therefore having someone to hold our hand as we venture off into this new and unknown territory feels a lot safer than walking alone. We may not even think about, much less prepare ourselves for any potential bumps in the road that may lie ahead.
Bumps in the Road
As with any journey, it is inevitable that we will hit some bumps along the way. Still, now with our new friends, not realizing if those friends will prove to be beneficial to us or not, we press down on the gas pedal and are ready to go. We remind ourselves that we are not alone. Our passengers will tell us when to turn around, stop, make a left or right, or just keep going. So what happens when our support system needs support? We have been counting on them to carry us through and now they are struggling. Here come those overwhelming feelings of doubt and frustration again. It is important to remember that our journey will not be filled with rainbows and butterflies. We may in fact face some of our most difficult challenges during this time. Events that may make us question the decision that we have just made. During my own personal journey I experienced some of the most difficult challenges of my life. I was very blessed to have a few amazing passengers with me on my journey. One being our very own Sister Leila. She gave me some of the most comforting advice early on. Words that still play in my head till this day. She said, “ Allah tests those that He loves the most.” The challenges that we face are tests from Him. We must also remember that He will not give us more than we can handle.
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear” [ Quran 2:286]
We need to remember that even if we have the best of guides leading the way, there is only one who is truly in control. Only He can provide the perfect map for us. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala will never misguide us. He will provide us with the most accurate map of where to go and how to ultimately arrive at our final destination. He knows our journey from beginning to end and is fully equipped to provide us with any help needed along the way. We just need to listen to and trust Him.
Road Blocks
Throughout our journey we may come across some roadblocks. Some that may cause us to come to a grinding halt. Things that we had once gone through before, would be a little easier because of the love and support that we were getting from our friends and family. The very people that we once turned to were no longer there. For example, the loss of a job, or a loved one, or any unfortunate experience that we were not necessarily prepared for, may take place. Not only do we have little support, but we begin to ask, “ why is this happening to me?” Of course we know that this is a test and it is a part of life. Reminding ourselves that Allah tests those that He loves the most. But is that enough to give us the comfort and reassurance that we want and need to move forward?
Trials and Tribulations
So how do we get through those trials and tribulations? Who or what can help push us through and provide that comfort and support that we need? Old friends have turned their backs on us. New friends are doing all that they can. So who or what is left? Here we are feeling all alone again. The answer? Allah subhanahu wa ta ala. The only love, comfort, support, that we will eventually learn will ever need. Through His messenger our beloved Prophet Muhammad we are able to find very clear instructions to not only guide us where we need to be, but also how to cope with any and every situation in life.
Fact vs. Fiction
Another roadblock that we may encounter is finding sources that are reliable and ones that will be beneficial to our growth. With so much information out there, we need to be sure that what we are using as a tool to guide us, is one that is reliable and good. Unfortunately we live in a time where many individuals have twisted and distorted the words of our beautiful religion. Therefore it is imperative that we be able to differentiate fact from fiction. So what are some ways that we can be sure what we are reading or listening to is fact? We need to be sure that we follow those who can inform and not misguide us.
Crossroads
With all of these things going on around us and in our minds, it can be difficult to remain focused. Not knowing where to turn, still trying to process the issues we have with family and friends, and overall struggling to get back on track, can cause us to feel discouraged. Sort of like we’ve hit a dead end. Do we give up? Do we go back to what we once knew? Although it doesn’t feel right, it feels somewhat safe and familiar? Or, do we continue on this journey, and follow the path that will lead us to our final destination?
Guide us to the straight path.
Surah Al- Fatiha Ayah 6
We must solely rely on the One whose guidance led us here in the first place. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala.
The Detour
Rather than focus on all of the roadblocks and obstacles in our way, we should learn to go around them and not let them hinder our journey.
And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way out.
At- Talaq / verse 2
Since relying completely on people wasn’t the answer, something we should have never done anyway, it’s time to not only look towards Him, but also do some of our own independent research. The internet and libraries are full of resources. How can we be certain that what we are reading or listening to is coming from a credible source? The last thing that we want to become is misinformed. Following the wrong sources can not only lead us down the wrong path, but it can also cause doubt, confusion and frustration. This may cause some reverts to become discouraged and potentially give up altogether. Or worse, become misguided. So what are some ways that may help someone who is new find reliable and accurate sources? We need to think about what reverts need most. Of course we can tell them to purchase or even give them a copy of the Holy Quran, but it’s not so easy to sit down and read it. It too can be overwhelming for someone who is just starting out. I’ve asked several friends both born Muslims and reverts what they would suggest someone new to do.
Make sure that the person that you are following can back up their message with Quranic evidence or Hadith.
Research the individual or site. Nowadays you can look up anyone or anything through the internet.
Use common sense. Islam is a religion of peace. If the speaker is saying things that do not sound peaceful, it may be a good idea to change channels.
Do try to ask your local community if you don’t know where to start. Get a list of people and sites and research them if you are not sure. Islam is not intended to be difficult.
Pray for guidance. Ask Allah subhanahu wa ta ala to lead you during this process.
The Reroute
And rely upon Allah; And Sufficient is Allah as Disposer of Affairs
Surah Al Ahzab / Verse 3
Once we have found our credible sources, we can now begin to feel as if we are back on track. With our prayers and InshaAllah a good Muslim community, we should have a new and improved sense of direction. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala knows our intentions. He knows exactly what is in our hearts and what we need. If we focus on Him, He will guide us, never misleading us. He will create the most perfect path for us. And even when those bumps and crossroads try to get in the way, He will provide us with everything that we need to get us through. InshaAllah
The Road to Jannah
As Muslims, our ultimate goal is to reach paradise InshaAllah. To live our lives in a way that pleases Him. Through His love and guidance, and our patience we will gain knowledge and obtain all that he has for us. Throughout this journey we should strive to be closer to Him. When we are close to Allah subhanahu wa ta ala, we will feel a peace like no other. May Allah subhanahu wa ta ala guide us all. May we open our hearts to Him. May He provide us with the guidance and knowledge that will bring us to the road to Jannah, and may we all meet there together InshaAllah.
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in word and deeds). [al-Tawbah 9:119]
As children we are taught not to lie. That lying is one of the greatest sins that comes with severe consequences and punishment. We were told that although we could hide things from our parents, nothing could nor can be hidden from Allah. He hears, sees and knows everything that we say and do. Nevertheless we grow up knowing that lying is wrong, but in some cases maybe not. We often hear the phrase “honesty is the best policy.” On the flip side we are also told that it is at times okay to bend the truth a little, sometimes. For example, someone prepares a meal that is not to our liking. We wouldn’t come out and tell them how awful it was, instead we may say that it was delicious and say thank you. Is this necessarily wrong? Is it okay to lie in order to spare someone’s feelings?
“…Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.” [Quran 39:3]
Big or Small/ Black or White
We have often heard people say that they have told a little white lie. This usually indicates something like what I mentioned above. When someone invites us to a gathering and we just don’t have the energy to go, we might say that we have a previous engagement.When we really do not. No big deal right? No harm, no foul and no one is hurt. Right? The term little white lie is used to define a lie where no one gets hurt, and “big” lies are usually lies that involve one or more parties getting hurt. We convince ourselves that these small lies are okay. We justify them, especially because no one really gets hurt. It is the people who tell the “bigger” lies who truly have bad motives and intentions. They are the ones who set out to hurt others, therefore they are really the ones who need to watch out. I personally feel that there is no justification for lying, rather we should learn to speak kindly in those situations where we feel we cant be entirely truthful. We can be truthful, we just need to find the right words. Society allows us to categorize lies, good, bad, big, small, black, white. The truth is a lie is a lie and it is wrong. People lie with the intent to deceive another person.
Lie: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. Webster dictionary
“O you who have believed! Fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.” [Quran 33:70]
Friends and Family
How many times have we found ourselves in situations where we have had to tell little white lies. A close friend asks how she looks in a certain outfit and in order to not hurt her feelings, you tell her that she looks great, when maybe she doesn’t. Or that one family member calls and you tell them that you were just on your way out the door, just to avoid getting stuck on the phone for an hour. Or what about when we embellish a little on our resume? I mean we are qualified for the job, but sometimes having that little extra sparkle helps get that little increase in pay right? The lines between white lies and more malicious lies have become very blurred. The truth however is that our friend may go out in her outfit and have others tell her that her outfit is not as nice as she thought. Or was told. Now she is embarrassed. Our family member may have really needed some help but because of our little white lie they were unable to get it. Lastly, while we were bending the truth on that resume, just a little, maybe someone with those credentials who really needed that job missed out. But wait, I thought that little white lies were harmless, no one gets hurt.
Prophet Muhammad said:
“Indeed, truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and a truthful person continues to speak the truth until he becomes the most truthful person. Lies lead to evil and evil leads to Hell, and a liar continues to lie until he is listed as a high ranking liar before Allah.” [Al-Bukhari]
Spouses
One of the principal foundations of our marriage is trust. Trust is something that is easily broken, but can take a lifetime to repair. Some will say that it is okay for a husband to lie to his wife in order to please her or make her happy. For example, there are times when I may be trying a new recipe and ask my husband to be the taste tester. He will tell me if it is good or not, and honestly I would rather him tell me truthfully than lie to me. Even if he did not like it, and his heart was in the right place, I would still rather hear the truth with kind words, rather than a lie. However, I can see one overlooking this sort of lie. After all, we do not want to hurt our spouse.
And (what means): “…And do not conceal testimony, for whoever conceals it – his heart is indeed sinful….” [Quran 2:283]
At times it may seem easy to overlook or allow these lies. Because they don’t involve infidelity or cause pain to our spouse, it doesn’t seem so bad. Research shows that telling small lies and getting away with it makes it easier to tell bigger lies. Lying and or withholding the truth destroys relationships. The relationship that we have with our spouse is in my opinion the second most important relationship that we should grow and nurture. The first being with Allah subhanahu wa ta ala. It is one that we should take very special care of, and never take the risk of compromising it by lying. There should never be a reason to lie to our spouse. We should alway feel comfortable telling them exactly how we feel.
Why Do People Lie
Why do people lie? We have focused on white lies. Those that are not intended to hurt, but rather spare someone’s feelings. I have personally, recently been in a situation with my spouse where he withheld something from me because he thought that I would get upset. However, when I found out, I was twice as hurt. One, because he kept something from me, and two, for whatever reason, he felt like he couldn’t come to me beforehand and talk to me about the situation. Even the most minimal of lies can do some pretty extensive damage and cause a breakdown in communication.
There are also those who lie with the intent to deceive. They dont always intend to hurt someone else, but that is because they do not intend to get caught. They have this mentality of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” We should always remember that while we may be able to deceive those around us, we can never deceive our Creator. He sees and knows everything.
“…The curse of Allah be upon him if he should be among the liars.” [Quran 24:7]
Damage and Repair
Lying can cause damage that can not always be repaired. It can ruin relationships and change the way that people deal with us in the future. We lose credibility when we lie. It becomes a challenge for those around us to maintain relationships with us. The very core of who we are has now been compromised. Even if we are blessed to be forgiven, the relationship as we knew it will never be the same. Is it even worth it? We’ve potentially lost relationships, and we’ve disappointed ourselves and more importantly, Allah.
“…Indeed Allah does not guide one who is a transgressor and a liar.” [Quran 40:28]
“…And do not conceal testimony, for whoever conceals it – his heart is indeed sinful….” [Quran 2:283]
Why We Should Tell the Truth
The truthful are most beloved by Allah (SWT). Telling the truth is one of the foundations of what Islam stands on. Allah (SWT) prohibits lying and implores us to choose righteousness and truthfulness above all else.
“You who believe, heed Allah and stand by those who are truthful” (Quran 9:119).
“You who believe, guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point” (Quran 33:70).
So even in those instances where lying seems like it may not be such a big deal, or maybe it just seems easier to tell those little white lies, we must keep in mind the consequences that may not be faced here, but in the Hereafter.
However, if you find yourself in a situation where you have told a lie and feel the guilt, consider it a blessing. There are people in this world to whom lying comes so easily that they no longer feel that feeling of guilt. Feeling guilty for our sins is a blessing from Allah (swt). We should take this opportunity to repent and ask for forgiveness. Allah is the most Forgiving and All- Merciful. May Allah (swt) guide us and keep us on the right path. May our hearts and intentions be pure.
Eid in Arabic means “feast, festival, holiday.” Eid is a worldwide festival and celebration for Muslims. During the calendar year there are two Eid’s that are celebrated by Muslims. Today we are going to discuss Eid al Fitr, which means “festival to break the fast.” It is at the end of the holy month of Ramadan in which Muslims fast for the entire month. The name of this special holiday is a literal translation of the event that is being celebrated. Festival of breaking the fast or the feast of fast breaking.
1. IT’S HELD TO CELEBRATE THE END OF FASTING.
During the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast from sunup to sundown to honor the month that the Quran was revealed to the Prophet Mohammed (SAW). Eid al-Fitr celebrates the end of the month and the end of the fasting. The prolonged fasting isn’t just about food. It also includes abstaining from taking medications, drinking any liquids (including water), smoking, and having sex.
2. EID AL- FITR BEGINS WHEN THE NEW MOON IS FIRST SIGHTED
Eid al- fitr doesn’t begin until the new moon appears in the sky ( although traditionally, and still today for many Muslims, it doesn’t begin until the barest sliver of a crescent moon is seen). Technically, that means that across the world, Eid al-Fitr starts at different times and even different days, depending on location. To make it more uniform, some Muslims celebrate Eid when the new moon appears over Mecca instead of their own locations.
3. EID AL-FITR TYPICALLY LASTS FOR THREE DAYS
The festival traditionally lasts for three days, but depending on how it falls on the calendar, the parties and festivities could last much longer. For example, if the three days fall mid-week, Muslims will likely still be celebrating over the weekend.
4. ON EID MORNING, MUSLIMS CLEANSE THEIR BODIES AND WEAR NEW CLOTHES
Before leaving to perform morning prayers, Muslims wake up to cleanse their bodies in a ritual called “ghusl.” Then, similar to getting new clothes for Easter Sunday, Muslims often wear something new or grab their finest threads and decorate their hands with elaborate henna patterns. Some people wear traditional dress, while others choose contemporary clothing.
5. HAPPY EID!
During Eid, one of the most common things you’ll hear people say to one another is “Eid Mubarak!” This literally means “blessed Eid” and is a way of expressing celebration. You might also hear “Eid sa’id” which means “happy Eid”.
6. PRAYERS
After getting dressed and ready for the day, Muslims gather inside mosques or outdoor locations. The Eid prayer is a collective duty, which means that when some Muslims offer it, the rest are not accountable for their omission. If no one offers it, then all share in the sin. This is because it is one of the clearest manifestations of the community. Also, the Prophet (peace be upon him) always did it, as did his Companions after he had passed away. The Prophet (peace be upon him) even ordered that women who were in their periods, and were as a result exempt from prayer, attend it, but were not to take part in the prayer itself. They share in its blessings and in the joy of the community, which clearly indicates its importance. If the Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered women who were exempt from prayer to attend, then its attendance is a must for men. In fact some scholars consider it a mandatory duty on all men. It is a Sunnah, recommended, that the Eid prayer is organized at an open, well known space, preferably outside the village or town, so that the community can gather and perform this distinctive act of worship. However, if it is offered in mosques for one reason or another, the prayer is still valid.
The Eid prayer becomes due at the time when the Sunnah prayer known as Duha is due, which means it starts when the sun has risen in the sky about one spear’s length. This is when the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his successors used to offer it, and prior to the sun being at that height, prayer is discouraged.Ibn Qudamah, Al-Mughni, vol. 2, pp. 232–3.
It is recommended to start the Eid al-Adha prayer at the beginning of its time range and to delay the Eid al-Fitr prayer because the Prophet (peace be upon him) did that. People need to attend to their sacrifice after the prayer at Eid al-Adha, while the delay in Eid al-Fitr prayer helps a person who has not yet paid Zakat al-Fitr to pay it, as it must be paid up to immediately before the prayer.Al-Zuhaili, al-Fiqh al-Islami, vol. 2, p. 1,391.
‘It is also a Sunnah to eat a few dates before going out to offer the Eid al-Fitr prayer, and not to eat anything on Eid al-Adha until the Eid prayer has finished and one eats from his sacrifice, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) did that on these occasions.’ Related by al-Tirmidhi, hadith No. 542; Ibn Majah, hadith No. 1,756
It is not recommended for anyone who misses out on the Eid prayer to offer it after it has finished, because this was not reported as suggested by the Prophet (peace be upon him). Moreover, it is a prayer for which a certain congregation gathers. It must, therefore, be offered in this fashion.
‘The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to go out to pray the Eid prayer of al-Fitr and al-Adha in the open space.’ Related by al-Bukhari, hadith No. 956; Muslim, hadith No. 889
7. GIFTS
After a month of sacrifice, Eid Al- Fitr is a time of abundance, and not just with food. Gifts are often given, especially to children. Here at home we try to get our children gifts that pertain to or remind them of their growing faith. There are many websites that offer ideas for gifts for children. Islamic coloring books, reading books, games, etc.
8. SWEETS!!
Eid al-Fitr is sometimes referred to as the Sugar Feast, due to the fact that a large part of the meal one eats at the festival is desserts. Different countries offer different types of sweets. Please follow our blog and check out Sister Marisa’s recipes. She has posted several recipes for this special occasion.
9. SPIRITUAL MEANING
Eid al-Fitr, as it follows the fasting of Ramadan, is also seen as a spiritual celebration of Allah’s provision of strength and endurance.Amid the reflection and rejoicing, Eid al-Fitr is a time for charity, known as Zakat al-Fitr. Eid is meant to be a time of joy and blessing for the entire Muslim community and a time for distributing one’s wealth. Charity to the poor is a highly emphasized value in Islam.
The Quran says, “Believe in Allah and his messenger, and give charity out of the (substance) that Allah has made you heirs of. For those of you who believe and give charity – for them is a great reward.”( 57:7)
InshaAllah this Ramadan has been a joyous time for us all. May Allah accept all of our fasts, answer our duas, and forgive us all. InshaAllah. Ameen
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
This blog was inspired by a post that I saw on a dear friend’s timeline this morning. This quote above. I’m sure we all consider ourselves to be grateful. We wake up each day and the first thing we say is Alhamdulliah. We are grateful for yet another day of life. Shortly after my husband and I were married, I noticed that he would wake up each morning and the first thing out of his mouth was Alhamdulillah. Thanking Allah for another day, another opportunity to praise Him and show gratitude. It still is. He has always said that we should say Alhamdulillah for everything, both in the good and the not so good times. In all honesty, how often do we show our gratitude? Although in a perfect world we would show our gratitude for all that we have all of the time. But the fact is we are human. We are weak. When things don’t go our way we complain. So often life gets the best of us and we tend to lose sight of what’s important. No matter what is going on in our lives, God wants us to appreciate everything. He does not want us to lose our way because of troublesome events. He encourages us to always see the positive side of any situation.
Allah encourages us to be grateful, but why? When we recognize the good things Allah has provided, we will understand He cares for us. This draws us closer to Him which is why being grateful to God is mentioned so often in the Quran.
”…BUT PERHAPS YOU HATE A THING AND IT IS GOOD FOR YOU; AND PERHAPS YOU LOVE A THING AND IT IS BAD FOR YOU. AND ALLAH KNOWS, WHILE YOU KNOW NOT.” [NOBLE QURAN 2:216]
It’s All About Perspective
Perhaps something we’re experiencing now seems bad or is a challenge for us. Many times it is how we look at things that determine how we will react to them. However, Allah swt is All-Knowing and Most Wise. He knows best and what is beneficial for us. Maybe it’s that promotion that we so badly want and felt we needed and didn’t get. Maybe it’s a job loss. Maybe it’s that vacation that we wanted to take but don’t have the money for. All of these examples can cause us to become impatient and unhappy therefore we begin to complain and wonder why? When we focus on the things that are not going our ways we lose sight of all of the blessings in our lives and there we become ungrateful. Yes this makes us ungrateful. The point is we should always be thankful because our knowledge of His plan for our lives is so limited. Allah swt reminds of this in the Quran:
”…BUT PERHAPS YOU HATE A THING AND IT IS GOOD FOR YOU; AND PERHAPS YOU LOVE A THING AND IT IS BAD FOR YOU. AND ALLAH KNOWS, WHILE YOU KNOW NOT.” [NOBLE QURAN 2:216]
Focus on The Good
Instead of focusing on the things that may seem to be going wrong in our lives,, try to concentrate on the good. Your happiness is tied to your good deeds and guidance from Allah swt. We need to make a list of all the blessings in our lives. Then, we can begin to spread appreciation where it belongs; to Allah swt first, and to anyone who has had a part in each point on your list. As the famous saying goes, a thankful heart is a happy heart. God tells us of the benefit of gratefulness:
”BE GRATEFUL AND I WILL GIVE YOU MORE.” [NOBLE QURAN 14:7]
This does not only apply to an increase in material possessions, it also applies to an increase in spiritual awareness.
Staying Thankful During Challenges
Challenges and obstacles are unavoidable parts of life. But what defines us is how we approach these obstacles. For example, Prophet Job was given major challenges in his life after being blessed with wealth, good health, and offspring. First, he lost all his wealth. Instead of complaining and turning his back on God in frustration and disappointment, he said
”What Allah has taken away from me belongs to Him. I was only its trustee for a while. He gives to whom He wills and withholds from whom He wills.” He continued worshiping and obeying God and being grateful for the remaining blessings he had.
Next, all his children were killed when their house crashed down. Instead of losing himself to depression and hurt, he said
”God sometimes gives and sometimes takes. He is sometimes pleased and sometimes displeased with our deeds. Whether a thing is beneficial or harmful to me, I will remain firm in my belief and remain thankful to my Creator.”
Finally, Job was afflicted with an illness that caused painful sores all over his body. He became so sick his friends and family abandoned him. Even during this time, he never lost patience or faith in God. After several years, Job cried to God asking for His mercy.
”And [mention] Job, when he called to his Lord, ”Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful.” [Noble Quran 21:83]
Out of reward for his patience and gratitude during all the trials and hardships Job experienced, God granted him ease and restored his wealth, his health, and his children.
”SO WE RESPONDED TO HIM AND REMOVED WHAT AFFLICTED HIM OF ADVERSITY. AND WE GAVE HIM [BACK] HIS FAMILY AND THE LIKE THEREOF WITH THEM AS MERCY FROM US AND A REMINDER FOR THE WORSHIPPERS [OF GOD].” [NOBLE QURAN 21:84]
This example that Job gives us, serves as a reminder to us all to be grateful to our Creator even during those difficult times.
Don’t Forget The Faithful
Not only does God remind you to thank Him, but also to thank His creation. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) says in his hadith,
”WHOEVER IS NOT GRATEFUL TO THE PEOPLE, HE IS NOT GRATEFUL TO GOD.” [SAHIH TIRMIDHI]
Without good people around us that remind us of God, we would not be as grateful. Focus on these people, however, few they are, and they will drown out the harmful ones. Concentrate on the good things they do for us, their positive qualities, and remember everyone is flawed including yourself.
So knowing all of this, how can we remain grateful? Through the good and the bad. How can we focus on all of the good that He has given us so that we can one day experience all of the good that He has in store InshaAllah? Here are a few things that I myself have started doing. There have been times in my own life when it seemed like I was hardly ever grateful. I was so focussed on the unfortunate events that were happening, that I lost sight of all of His blessings.
Tips on how to remain Grateful
1. Keep a daily journal. Write down all of the things that we are grateful for. It could be as little as making breakfast, or as big as getting a new job. The important thing is you get in the habit of looking for and focusing on the good things, and continually reminding yourself of the many blessings you are gifted with.
2. Surround yourself with positive people. If you find yourself being a Negative Nancy, avoid being around a Debbie Downer. Otherwise, you may adopt her ungrateful and pessimistic viewpoint. Seek friendships and companionship in people who will lift you up and remind you to be content.
3. Train yourself to see the good in every situation, even when it is difficult. For example, if you or a family member is sick, thank God you have access to healthcare because many people around the world don’t. Also, like prophet Job, thank God for the many years you have been healthy.
God is Great
So we must remind ourselves daily of all of the things that we have to be grateful for. Remember all that He has provided for us, and continues to provide. Remember that he will not give us more than we can bear. He knows what is best for us. He will only provide for us what is meant for us. No one can keep anything from us that He has willed for us. Be patient, He knows exactly what we need and what we don’t need. Have faith. Trust that He has an amazing, beautiful plan for each and everyone of us.
May Allah swt keep us strong and faithful throughout the good and the bad times. Ameen
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
As you know, we all go through pain, whether it’s physical or psychological. In fact, we’ve come across that friend, family member or even sometimes a stranger who comes up to us to seek some help. Without asking or going deeper into their issues, we often start judging, giving lame unsolicited advice like “have hope” and they end up asking themselves “how?” Or “where do I even begin?”
What we fail to understand is that our inspirational words aren’t easily digested by that depressed soul thus making them feel as though we are not yet ready to help them pick up the pieces. We need to understand someone battling depression is mentally blocked, the pain they are feeling has made them numb and exhausted so when you say “please have hope”, “Everything will be okay” or “You are strong” they literally don’t understand a thing and that can even make them feel not cared for.
Guiding Light
It is true that you want them to have hope. This leads you to say “things will be okay” even though it might not make sense to them. However, in trying to help them to move on, it may be good to show them the simple steps that will lift them up just by listening to them or asking what you could do to help. That way, you can just be their guiding light.
They need to know that you are literally there for them, you are grieving at their pain, you love them dearly and that there is a solution to every single thing that’s troubling them.
Their situation can be somehow scary but then it’s good when you try to help rather than beating yourself up later on when things get worse. Regretting that you didn’t do much for them or you end up asking yourself endless questions like “Why did they commit suicide?” and so much more and unfortunately these questions have no answers.
Allah says in the Quran: And worship Allah and associate naught with Him, and show kindness to parents, and to kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and to the neighbor that is a kinsman and the neighbor that is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess. Surely, Allah loves not the proud and the boastful. (Al Quran 4:37)
Do Not Belittle Anyone’s Feelings
Remember it doesn’t cost you a thing to help someone when they are at their lowest. Dark days are part of life. Don’t belittle anyone’s feelings because you and I have got different ways of tackling problems. What makes you feel sad for a few days might make me battle depression for years.
Don’t let anyone that comes to seek help go to the extent of hurting themselves just because you made fun or didn’t bother helping them when they needed you the most. Talk to them and tell them to hold on because pain ends. In one hadith, the prophet (Peace be Upon him) says:
O Aisha, Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness, and He rewards for gentleness what is not granted for harshness, and He does not reward anything else like it.
Many women do not distinguish between a legal marriage and a non-legal marriage and can be easily deceived. To help understand the difference, let us look at them.
Let’s start with the legal conditions for marriage according to Islamic law. Marriage in Islam must meet these conditions to be valid:
-Marriage between healthy men and women, of legal age 18 years and have no impediment to marry.
-The will of the bride must be to complete the marriage without coercion
– Be public and witnesses must be available.
-The dowry.
-Do not have a time limit for the validity of the marriage contract.
By law, the government discovered that in the last 100 years, the spouses can have problems if there is no evidence of official marriage documents, so it establishes a rule that any marriage must be through official means, that is, be assured the rights of the wife and children. The only legal marriage between a foreigner and an Egyptian national is the one that takes place in the Ministry of Justice.
Also, Islam gives the wife and husband the right to write any conditions in the marriage contract, if it is not contrary to the concept of marriage and conditions.
So, according to Islamic law, there is no difference between official and unofficial marriages if all the conditions for marriage are available, even for the purposes of Islamic rules that are concerned with the rights of the wife and child. Due to the certain social problems or inactions of human beings, the official contract is the best option and the only legal one.
One of the biggest questions is what will happen if the husband, after the marriage, does not want to admit the marriage? In this case, we must comply with the law to prove that this relationship is legal. In fact, the law says what will make the difference between the official marriage contract and non official.
The official marriage gives the wife all the rights of hers plus she can write all the conditions of hers as she wants. The Orfi, (an unofficial contract) gives the wife only two options:
-First to prove that she has a legal relationship with her husband, but this through a file in court. After that, she will only have the ability to prove that the child that came from this marriage is no longer from this man or whether it is.
– The second is to ask about the divorce when she wants. The future child of this marriage will be at risk if the father does not want to give her aname; in this case, the wife has to file a complaint so that the child is recognized and registered with the name of her father.
Furthermore, according to Orfi, the wife does not have the right to inheritance, she also does not have the child before obtaining the name of her father.
From that, all she can see is that the marriage conditions that will be through Orfi are nothing compared to an officially registered marriage, because the only rights of that marriage, as she can see, are the proof about the relationship and the ability of the divorce.
The official marriage cares about the rights of the wife 100%. In many ways like:
1- She has an official document that says that she has a legal relationship with this man. She can go to any hotel, government, and police stations for anything.
2- She has the right to obtain payments from her husband by law if he does not want to do it of his own free will.
3- She has the right to request Egyptian nationality.
4- She has the right to obtain an official birth certificate for the future child, even without the will of her father.
5- She has the right to inheritance from her husband.
6- She has the right to reside in Egypt for 1: 5 years without obtaining nationality.
All this without any case in court just for marriage contract.
I give you an example of official marriage in the Ministry of Justice
“Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem Al-hamdu lillahi Rabb il-‘alamin Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem Maliki yawmi-d-Din Iyya-ka na’budu wa iyya-ka nasta’in Ihdina-sirat al-mustaqim Sirat al-ladhina an’amta ‘alai-him Ghair il-Maghdubi ‘alai-him wa la-d-dallin.” ~Al-Fatihah 1:1-7 In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds: The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful: Owner of the Day of Judgment. Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help. Show us the straight path: The path of those whom Thou hast favored; Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray. ~Al-Fatihah 1:1-7
Al-Quran
What is Mahr?
“And give the women, upon marriage, their bridal gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.” ~An-Nisa, 4:4
Al-Quran
Mahr is a required part of every Muslim marriage contract. Mahr is a gift that the husband must give the wife at marriage. Upon receipt, a woman’s Mahr automatically becomes her separate property. It is essential to point out that a husband does not have to give Mahr in one part. Mahr may be given in two parts. The first part is called the muqaddam, or the prompt Mahr, which the wife must receive immediately before or after the marriage ceremony. The second part of Mahr is called the mu’akhar, and it is a deferred and promised amount, payable at any agreed-upon date following the consummation of the marriage. Oftentimes, the deferred amount is more significant than the amount paid at marriage. In theory, the deferred amount provides the wife with a means of support in case of husband’s death or divorce. The muqaddam should be viewed as important as the initial Mahr payment. It is an obligation to be fulfilled by the husband and considered a debt if not given to the wife within the agreed timeframe. The Mahr in any Islamic marriage contract is a fundamental religious right of the wife. The husband may not reduce the Mahr. Upon the husband’s death, the deferred Mahr is paid from his estate before all other debts, because it is a religious requirement. There is no limit on the type of Mahr a woman can request. It can be any type of property, such as gold, silver, real estate, currency, carpets, dishes, cars, clothes, books, household appliances, or any other thing(s) that can be owned. Women are typically advised that it is in their best interest, to set their Mahr to be real estate, gold, silver, or anything else of financial value. They are advised this so their Mahr’s value does not decrease over time and can be used later as her reserve. However this is a more cultural practice rather than Islamic practice. Muslim women need to understand that she is the ONLY owner of this property, no matter her Mahr. No one, including her parents/guardians or husband, have the right to use, take possession of, sell, or transfer her property without her explicit consent. All profits of her properties also belong to her, alone.
Mahr is mentioned explicitly in the Hadiths as a condition for the legality of marriage. The Mahr is for the wife to spend as she wishes and can be cash, jewelry or any other thing of value. “…they had no right to marry her if they had the desire to do so, unless they deal justly with her and gave her a full amount of Mahr.”, as per Ursa bin Az-Zubair
“…they had no right to marry her if they had the desire to do so, unless they deal justly with her and gave her a full amount of Mahr.”, as per Ursa bin Az-Zubair
(Bukhari, Book 62, Number 71)
As per Sahl, ‘Then a man said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Marry her to me.” The Prophet asked him, “What have you got?” He said, “I have got nothing.” The Prophet said, “Give her something, even an iron ring.” He said, “I have got nothing.” The Prophet asked (him), “How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?” He said, “So much and so much.” The Prophet said, “I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran.”’ (Bukhari, Book 62, Number 72). Not only do these Hadiths indicate that Mahr is a requirement for marriage, but they also are indicative that Mahr does not have to be costly. Over time, it has evolved into cultural practice (in some countries) for women and their families to request large sums of cash or large amounts of gold. The Hadiths clearly indicate that this is not necessary.
In divorce cases, a woman is entitled to keep her Mahr, if the marriage has been consummated. As been Ibn ‘Umar, ‘The Prophet said, “You are not entitled to take back any money. If you have told the truth, the Mahr that you paid, was for having sexual relations with her lawfully; and if you are a liar, then you are less entitled to get it back.”’ (Bukhari, Book 63, Number 262). If a woman divorces, before her marriage is consummated, she is still entitled to compensation by her husband. “There is no blame upon you if you divorce women you have not touched nor specified for them an obligation. But give them [a gift of] compensation-the wealthy according to his capability and the poor according to his capability-a provision according to what is acceptable, a duty upon the doers of good.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:236)
Islam established Mahr as an obligation husbands must gift their wives to solemnize their marriage. Mahr is to be determined by the wife according to her prospective husband’s means, and it becomes her sole property. Sisters should diligently exercise their right to their Mahr and marriage contract.
About the author:
Dr. Gabriela Martin was born in Mexico and raised in both the United States and Mexico. She received her education in the United States. She has undergraduate and graduate degrees in Special Education. She has a doctorate in Metaphysical Humanistic Studies. Dr. Martin is a Reiki Master/Teacher, Associate Practitioner NLP, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Holistic Health Practitioner, and an ordained non-denominational minister. She spent 23 years teaching and helping at-risk youth. Before retiring from the education field, her last teaching assignment was at an off-reservation Native American boarding school.To read her full bio, click here.
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