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Eco-Elegant Nuptials: How to Plan a Stylish and Sustainable Wedding

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When you visualize your wedding day, you might imagine a gorgeous celebration that is as meaningful as it is stylish, and that reflects your values. Planning green nuptials doesn’t have to mean cheap or unattractive. Courtesy of Amirazz Matrimonial Services, here’s an article on how to throw an eco-chic wedding that you and your guests won’t soon forget.

Choose Sustainable Wedding Attire

Whenever possible, select wedding attire that is ethically produced and sustainable. Choose fabrics made from organic cotton, bamboo, or recycled textiles, making use of artisans and small manufacturers who employ eco-materials and ethical production methods. Consider buying vintage or second-hand outfits that are not only chic but also reduce the necessity for new resources. Not only will you be supporting local artisans, but you’ll also work with small manufacturers who are savvy in fair trade practices.

Embrace Digital Solutions for Wedding Planning

Opt for electronic invitations and save-the-dates to reduce your wedding’s physical footprint and overall environmental burden. To centralize your wedding details, use digital tools that will let you input all your plans, from a venue map to meal options, and even share them with your guests. Give this a try: save important documents as PDFs to retain formatting. Use handy online tools to convert them, compress them, edit them, rotate them, and even arrange them according to file name – it’s a great way to organize your eco-friendly life!

Opting for a Sustainable Wedding Cake

Your wedding cake is the centerpiece of the culinary feast, so choose a cake that satisfies your palette and protects the planet. Find a baker who will use organically grown, locally sourced, seasonal ingredients. This will not only limit environmental impact but will also guarantee fresher, tastier results. Consider options such as a small cake accompanied by other dessert delights, or a floral cake with edible blossoms instead of intricate sugar-work detailing. These choices will limit waste and tie in with the natural feel of your theme.

Offer Green Transportation Options

Travel to and from the wedding is sometimes the most carbon-intensive part of the occasion. You can encourage guests to be green with initiatives such as shuttle buses or carpooling from a central point. Choose a venue with good public transport connections or that offers bicycle parking, and then create an event that’s about community and fun. Guests traveling together contribute to the experience – and reduce the number of cars needed.

Prioritize

Choose Sustainable Wedding Attire

Embrace Digital Solutions for Wedding Planning

Opting for a Sustainable Wedding Cake

Offer Green Transportation Options

Prioritize Carbon Offsetting

Carbon offsetting a wedding ensures that your celebration helps rather than harms the planet. Work out the total lifetime emissions from every aspect of your wedding, from the travel of guests and wedding parties to the energy used in your venue and the production of your food. Then support carbon offset programs through which you can contribute to renewable energy, forest restoration, or other environmental initiatives. In this way, you are showing that your commitment to wedding sustainability goes far beyond a simple desire to mitigate the impact.

Register for Eco-Friendly Gifts

Curate your wedding registry for sustainability and request gifts that help create a more environmentally friendly home. Ask for green gifts, such as products made of recycled materials, appliances, and other items that help reduce energy or water use at home, or contributions to green charities and non-profits. The gifts your guests bring will help green your home and expose them to new sustainable products and brands. The more of your guests take home such gifts, the better. You will not only curate a more sustainable home for yourself but also expand the reach of your green principles to other people.

As you plan your eco-friendly wedding, take this opportunity to highlight your commitment to environmental sustainability. Taking greener decisions throughout the wedding process isn’t just a way to make your festivities more stylish and meaningful, it also demonstrates caring for the planet. Imagine your wedding as an expression of your values, where all of your decisions on the day reflect the greater commitment to a more sustainable world. Make this a celebration of love where the belief in this love is demonstrated by actions that care about the world around us.

Discover your perfect partner with Amirazz! Join our supportive, women-centric matrimonial community today and take the first step towards a meaningful and fulfilling Muslim marriage. Visit Amirazz.com to get started!

Carbon Offsetting

Register for Eco-Friendly Gifts

5 Budget-Friendly Ways to Prep Your Home for Your Wedding Day

5 Budget-Friendly Ways to Prep Your Home for Your Wedding Day

If you’re hosting any wedding events at your home or letting some of your guests spend the night, you might be nervous about guaranteeing that the space looks perfect for the big day. Whether you’re holding a welcome party at your house, having a backyard wedding, or inviting your future in-laws to stay in the guest room, you’ll need to prepare your home without breaking the bank. Today, I share some suggestions to help you track your home renovations, create cute photo collages for decor, and clean up your home to get ready for hosting.

Document Any Major Changes

If you need to tackle any big home renovation projects before your wedding day, don’t forget to document the proof! Furthermore, consider which projects could provide a return on investment in the long run if you decide to sell your home. Whether you’re tackling these projects with a DIY approach or you’ve hired contractors to renovate your house, make sure to take before and after photos to illustrate the improvements you’ve made for future buyers. You can also hold on to receipts to keep track of the costs.

Deep Clean First

Deep cleaning your home before any guests arrive is essential, and you don’t have to hire a professional to get it done. Instead, save money by cleaning on your own! Budget Dumpster recommends going room by room and paying special attention to your kitchen, bathrooms, and guest room.

Hosting Your Wedding at Home

If you’re getting married at home, you’ll want to look for a tent rental company with reasonable prices to set up your backyard, use decor you already own or borrow from your family and friends when possible, and cover basic folding tables with nice tablecloths to save money. The Budget Savvy Bride also states that you’ll need to start setting up very early in the day since you’re essentially building your venue from scratch. Enlisting your loved ones to help out is a good idea!

Throwing a Welcome Party

If you have lots of guests from out of town who are coming to your wedding, you may be planning to throw a welcome party at your house to greet them. Take the time to curate some memorable details. For example, you could assemble photo collages of you and your future spouse. Try different photo combinations to see what looks best! You can use a personalized college template to explore creative possibilities.

Accommodating Overnight Guests

Maybe some of your close friends or relatives will be sleeping at your house on the night of your wedding. Naturally, you’ll want to make sure that they feel comfortable. Put out fresh bedding in the guest room, stock up on travel-size toiletries for their convenience, and make sure to leave out a note with your Wi-Fi password clearly displayed. With all of these details taken care of, your guests will be able to fully relax!

If you’re having guests stay at a hotel or other accommodations, you should still ensure that your house is ready for the next day. Keep some snacks in your pantry and fridge so that you don’t need to cook when you’re exhausted!

Weddings are stressful enough, especially when you’re holding certain events at your home. But you can make your guests feel comfortable on a budget! With these tips, you can tackle everything from creating homemade photo collages to photographing any big home renovations.

Author: Diane Harrison

Diane is the founder of Health PSA. Diane decided to create Health PSA after seeing how many people came into the library seeking more info on health and specific medical conditions. She thought it would be great to create a resource for people where they can find easy-to-understand info rather than medical jargon. View all posts by Diane Harrison

Amirazz is here to create a secure online community for Muslims to help manage the needs and goals of marriage. Call 1-807-358-1820.

Photo via Unsplash

Tips for Easing Anxiety and Preventing Anxiety Attacks

If you struggle with anxiety, you’re not alone. Most of us experience some anxiety during stressful events, like speaking in front of a group or driving in heavy traffic. Today, Amirazz Matrimonial Services offers some tips on recognizing and managing anxiety to keep it from holding you back.

Unlike panic attacks which occur suddenly and trigger extreme physical symptoms like chest pain, anxiety attacks tend to build gradually over a period of excessive worry. Verywell Mind explains that when anticipatory anxiety builds until it reaches an overwhelming level of stress, it may feel like an attack. During an anxiety attack, you may experience difficulty concentrating, restlessness, irritability, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, increased heart rate, and muscle tension.

Generally, these symptoms are less intense than those associated with panic attacks, but they are similarly debilitating and difficult to control. What’s more, the symptoms of anxiety can persist for days, weeks, or even longer. Thankfully, there are a number of things you can do to ease persistent anxiety and cope with your symptoms.

Work to Reframe Your Anxiety

Many people with anxiety disorders see anxiety as a lifelong, uncontrollable illness that’s impossible to manage. Changing how you think about anxiety can empower you to take charge instead of feeling powerless. Reframing your experience with anxiety can lead to personal growth. Accept anxiety as a normal experience instead of shaming yourself for feeling this way.

In the process of reframing your anxiety, you might discover opportunities to cut unproductive stress out of your life. For example, if your job is causing a lot of unnecessary stress, consider going back to school for a career change! Earning an online degree in IT, business management, or marketing can open up several new career paths. Learning online will make it much easier to juggle your life while you work towards your career change.

Learn Techniques to Calm Your Stress Response

Managing anxiety is a daily practice. Make daily choices that regulate your nervous system, retraining your brain to react calmly to different situations instead of defaulting to a state of fight or flight. Keep some relaxation techniques in your back pocket to calm your stress response when you feel on the brink of an anxiety attack. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and mindfulness meditation can all effectively reduce anxiety in just a few minutes. You can also greatly facilitate an improved stress response by optimizing your home of wellness – that is, focus on positive thinking, as free of self-doubt and negativity as possible.

Exercise Every Day

Countless studies have shown that exercise helps to relieve anxiety. According to ADAA, aerobic exercise is particularly beneficial for decreasing overall levels of tension and stimulating anti-anxiety effects throughout the body. In fact, exercise works incredibly quickly to relieve anxiety. A 10-minute walk can be just as effective as a 45-minute sweat session!

Make Time for Moments of Slowness

Slowing down can also help you tap into your body’s relaxation response. Your brain is bound to run a mile a minute when you’re rushing around trying to check off everything on your to-do list. Instead, try to slow down and pay attention to the moment. Be present, disconnect, and do less. Pick up a hobby or two that helps you slow down and move more mindfully. Yoga, meditation, hiking, gardening, reading, or cooking can all serve as fantastic mindfulness practices.

Anxiety is one of the most debilitating mental health issues. But because it’s so common, many of us assume there’s no way to treat it or improve how we feel. Easing anxiety and preventing anxiety attacks is possible! Just like a regular yoga practice can loosen your muscles, a regular mental health practice can train your mind to relax.

About the Author: Diane is the founder of Health PSA. Diane decided to create Health PSA after seeing how many people came into the library seeking more info on health and specific medical conditions. She thought it would be great to create a resource for people where they can find easy-to-understand info rather than medical jargon.

Amirazz Matrimonial Services supports the Muslim community worldwide by creating a secure and safe online community and supportive environment that manages the needs and marriage goals of our sisters and brothers. Call 807-358-1820.

Relocating for a Beautiful Intercultural Marriage: Living in Indonesia as an American

By: Ali A. Karim

The year 2020 was a new and exciting begining for me. I met a wonderful lady from Indonesia a few years back and we decided to get married after communicating for sometime. I realised I had found the right person for me and I moved to Indonesia.

Prayudi Setiadharma — Skyline of Bandung as seen from Cihampelas area with the Pasupati bridge prominently features in the foreground

We live in a city called Bandung, which is about two hours drive from Jakarta, the capital city. As a foreigner, I noticed how different things are done culturally in Indonesia. Many things are different from what I was used to in the United States of America, of course not in a negative way. Here I will mention some of my personal experiences, please understand that not all will encounter the same situation, it depends on the community around the person and the area they live in.

Rice, Rice, and Rice

Indonesian staple food is rice. They eat rice three times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

There is a saying that If you have not eaten rice, then you haven’t eaten yet. Even most of the snacks are made from rice or rice flour.

Here is a true and interesting story:

A brother that I know told me about his experience when he went to a pizza place. That was his first time going there. When his order arrived, which was a pan of pizza, he was so angry and dissapointed because it didn’t come with rice. He was so unimpressed that the manager had to intervene. The manager of the place had to calm him down and gave explanations on why rice was not served as part of the Pizza. That is how much they love rice!

Motorcycles

Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle. I have been riding on the back of motorbikes. My wife still remembers how I was against it at the begining of my stay in Indonesia, but here I am now, a pure Indonesian, riding on the back of a motorcycle holding things like an expert enjoying a flamboyant motorcade.

When I said Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle, I mean in many ways than one; refrigerators, washing machines, goats, ladders and a family of five, yes a family of five! To paint a clear picture of how a family of five can ride a motorcycle in this beautiful new home of mine, here is an idea: the oldest child is in the front of the father who is riding the motorbike, the second child is between the father and mother, and the mother is holding and nursing the baby. It’s normal to see three, four or five on the motorbikes.

Their outfit when riding a motorcycle is another thing to write home about. Sometimes I see the riders wearing a thick jacket or a leather jacket during day time at 90F, but they also wear their jacket when the weather is cool, yet they still wear shorts and flip flops, leaving me to think don’t their waists and legs feel cold?

The Stares

Depending on the area, a foreigner will most probably get some stares. Yes, everybody stares, from an old lady in a rickshaw who turned her head 180 degrees to a motorbike rider, a gas station employee, to a six months old baby on his mom’s lap. All have stared at me from head to toe and from toe to head. Some of them have enough courage to say “Hi” and try to start a conversation. Some kids just yelled behind my back and call me “Hey Arab!”.

I understand that I do not look like most people in Indonesia and they are confused on what to call me and who I am. To make it even distinct, I am somehow easier to recognize since my body height is taller than most Indonesian men, but for me, my appearance should not be a reason for people to stare because I am a human being like everybody else. Afterall, we are Bani Adam.

Gotong Royong

It is translated as Communal work. A few months ago I was lucky enough to participate in a gotong royong, we were working to fix one of our neighbour’s house. The house owner name is Pak Dodo, he was forced to rent another house because his own house is unlivable since the roof was severely damaged. The community leader was organizing a comittee and asking people to participate, in any way, financially, physically or just with moral support. Everybody is working and participating in any way. We finally finished the project in less than a week and Pak Dodo can live in his own house again, Alhamdulillah. This is how the muslim community should be, everyone should help when one is in need or when something needs to be done for the public.

Halal Food and Adhan

Masājid or mosques are everywhere and most food are halal. Indonesia has a high population of Muslims hence, you can find mosques easily, almost in every corner of the street. I used to say jokingly to my friends in the US, that we hear adhān more than 5 times a day, because the mosques are close to each other. When one starts the adhan, the other starts to say the azan as well.

A mosque from Bandung. Photo credit: factsofindonesia.com

Going back to food, I have been gaining weight since I moved here, so you know the food is good especially when your wife is an excellent cook!

For newcomers, you can easily find halal food just around the corner. My first Indonesian word is “Ayam” which means “chicken” because I can easily spot this word everywhere. Mie Ayam, Bubur Ayam, Ayam Goreng, Ayam Geprek, Soto Ayam and more ayam. Chickens have a rough life here. LOL.

It is always in my prayers to let me out of the USA, alhamdulillah Allah answered my prayers and I moved to the largest muslim country in the world. I thank Allah for my wife and for my new life. My advice for those who are willing to move to Indonesia are be open minded and keep yourself informed that Indonesia is a huge country with different cultures and languages, make good relationships with the locals and treat others as human and you will be treated as human.

About the author: Ali A. Karim is an artist by nature. History enthusiast. Muslim by choice. He considers Arts as the culture of humanity. To him, Art tells the history of the world. Art is the truth and proof of God. Just look at HIS creation.

A Revert’s Journey

And Allah Guides whom He wills to a straight path.

Surah Al-Baqarah/ Ayah213

Destination Unknown

Reverting back to Islam can be an incredibly challenging time for many. Suddenly we are faced with this overwhelming feeling that everything that we were once taught, everything that we grew up believing to be true, may in fact not be. As warm and welcoming as the feeling of coming to Allah subhanahu wa ta ala may be, we also may begin to feel lost, confused, afraid, and very alone. Along with these feelings comes a great deal of insecurity and doubt. It feels like there is no end to the many questions that are now running through our minds. Then the intense fear of how and where we will find the answers begins. Where do we go from here?

The Journey Begins

So now that we have found ourselves embarking on this beautiful journey, how and where do we begin to find the much needed support and sense of security that we need to help us along? A little reassurance if you will. Naturally we will first look towards our brothers and sisters in Islam. Maybe in our local, mosque or community in general. That too however can be a little intimidating. Nevertheless, we look towards those who we assume will have the answers to our many questions. Whether because they were raised in the faith, or because they have traveled down this road before. We hope that they will be able to help guide us and put us on the right path. Once we have made these connections, we tend to solely rely on those individuals to navigate us, sort of acting as our GPS. We think that because they have been down this road before, they can provide us with the resources that we need. Although there are plenty of resources such as books, articles, websites, and videos to help guide us, it is very comforting having someone by our side who can provide not only guidance, but also something that no text can provide, companionship. Remember, many reverts are feeling isolated right now. Most of our families have pulled away because they don’t approve nor do they understand the change we’ve made. Still it is important that we remember that although our newfound friendships bring us connections that we’ve been missing, we must remind ourselves that they are still human just like us. Maybe they too are struggling in their own way. Perhaps they are still working on their journey and struggling along the way. Maybe they have been misguided. Oftentimes we will say it’s okay and look past all of that. They are human and are not perfect, and besides, it beats the feeling of being alone. The feeling of isolation that many reverts feel can be overwhelming. Therefore having someone to hold our hand as we venture off into this new and unknown territory feels a lot safer than walking alone. We may not even think about, much less prepare ourselves for any potential bumps in the road that may lie ahead.

Bumps in the Road

As with any journey, it is inevitable that we will hit some bumps along the way. Still, now with our new friends, not realizing if those friends will prove to be beneficial to us or not, we press down on the gas pedal and are ready to go. We remind ourselves that we are not alone. Our passengers will tell us when to turn around, stop, make a left or right, or just keep going. So what happens when our support system needs support? We have been counting on them to carry us through and now they are struggling. Here come those overwhelming feelings of doubt and frustration again. It is important to remember that our journey will not be filled with rainbows and butterflies. We may in fact face some of our most difficult challenges during this time. Events that may make us question the decision that we have just made. During my own personal journey I experienced some of the most difficult challenges of my life. I was very blessed to have a few amazing passengers with me on my journey. One being our very own Sister Leila. She gave me some of the most comforting advice early on. Words that still play in my head till this day. She said, “ Allah tests those that He loves the most.” The challenges that we face are tests from Him. We must also remember that He will not give us more than we can handle.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear” [ Quran 2:286]

We need to remember that even if we have the best of guides leading the way, there is only one who is truly in control. Only He can provide the perfect map for us. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala will never misguide us. He will provide us with the most accurate map of where to go and how to ultimately arrive at our final destination. He knows our journey from beginning to end and is fully equipped to provide us with any help needed along the way. We just need to listen to and trust Him.

Road Blocks

Throughout our journey we may come across some roadblocks. Some that may cause us to come to a grinding halt. Things that we had once gone through before, would be a little easier because of the love and support that we were getting from our friends and family. The very people that we once turned to were no longer there. For example, the loss of a job, or a loved one, or any unfortunate experience that we were not necessarily prepared for, may take place. Not only do we have little support, but we begin to ask, “ why is this happening to me?” Of course we know that this is a test and it is a part of life. Reminding ourselves that Allah tests those that He loves the most. But is that enough to give us the comfort and reassurance that we want and need to move forward?

Trials and Tribulations

So how do we get through those trials and tribulations? Who or what can help push us through and provide that comfort and support that we need? Old friends have turned their backs on us. New friends are doing all that they can. So who or what is left? Here we are feeling all alone again. The answer? Allah subhanahu wa ta ala. The only love, comfort, support, that we will eventually learn will ever need. Through His messenger our beloved Prophet Muhammad we are able to find very clear instructions to not only guide us where we need to be, but also how to cope with any and every situation in life.

Fact vs. Fiction

Another roadblock that we may encounter is finding sources that are reliable and ones that will be beneficial to our growth. With so much information out there, we need to be sure that what we are using as a tool to guide us, is one that is reliable and good. Unfortunately we live in a time where many individuals have twisted and distorted the words of our beautiful religion. Therefore it is imperative that we be able to differentiate fact from fiction. So what are some ways that we can be sure what we are reading or listening to is fact? We need to be sure that we follow those who can inform and not misguide us.

Crossroads

With all of these things going on around us and in our minds, it can be difficult to remain focused. Not knowing where to turn, still trying to process the issues we have with family and friends, and overall struggling to get back on track, can cause us to feel discouraged. Sort of like we’ve hit a dead end. Do we give up? Do we go back to what we once knew? Although it doesn’t feel right, it feels somewhat safe and familiar? Or, do we continue on this journey, and follow the path that will lead us to our final destination?

Guide us to the straight path.

Surah Al- Fatiha Ayah 6

We must solely rely on the One whose guidance led us here in the first place. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala.

The Detour

Rather than focus on all of the roadblocks and obstacles in our way, we should learn to go around them and not let them hinder our journey.

And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way out.

At- Talaq / verse 2

Since relying completely on people wasn’t the answer, something we should have never done anyway, it’s time to not only look towards Him, but also do some of our own independent research. The internet and libraries are full of resources. How can we be certain that what we are reading or listening to is coming from a credible source? The last thing that we want to become is misinformed. Following the wrong sources can not only lead us down the wrong path, but it can also cause doubt, confusion and frustration. This may cause some reverts to become discouraged and potentially give up altogether. Or worse, become misguided. So what are some ways that may help someone who is new find reliable and accurate sources? We need to think about what reverts need most. Of course we can tell them to purchase or even give them a copy of the Holy Quran, but it’s not so easy to sit down and read it. It too can be overwhelming for someone who is just starting out. I’ve asked several friends both born Muslims and reverts what they would suggest someone new to do.

Make sure that the person that you are following can back up their message with Quranic evidence or Hadith.
Research the individual or site. Nowadays you can look up anyone or anything through the internet.
Use common sense. Islam is a religion of peace. If the speaker is saying things that do not sound peaceful, it may be a good idea to change channels.
Do try to ask your local community if you don’t know where to start. Get a list of people and sites and research them if you are not sure. Islam is not intended to be difficult.
Pray for guidance. Ask Allah subhanahu wa ta ala to lead you during this process.

The Reroute

And rely upon Allah; And Sufficient is Allah as Disposer of Affairs

Surah Al Ahzab / Verse 3

Once we have found our credible sources, we can now begin to feel as if we are back on track. With our prayers and InshaAllah a good Muslim community, we should have a new and improved sense of direction. Allah subhanahu wa ta ala knows our intentions. He knows exactly what is in our hearts and what we need. If we focus on Him, He will guide us, never misleading us. He will create the most perfect path for us. And even when those bumps and crossroads try to get in the way, He will provide us with everything that we need to get us through. InshaAllah

The Road to Jannah

As Muslims, our ultimate goal is to reach paradise InshaAllah. To live our lives in a way that pleases Him. Through His love and guidance, and our patience we will gain knowledge and obtain all that he has for us. Throughout this journey we should strive to be closer to Him. When we are close to Allah subhanahu wa ta ala, we will feel a peace like no other. May Allah subhanahu wa ta ala guide us all. May we open our hearts to Him. May He provide us with the guidance and knowledge that will bring us to the road to Jannah, and may we all meet there together InshaAllah.

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.

The Truth About Lying

Author: Rebecca Pena.

The Truth About Lying

O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in word and deeds).
[al-Tawbah 9:119]

As children we are taught not to lie. That lying is one of the greatest sins that comes with severe consequences and punishment. We were told that although we could hide things from our parents, nothing could nor can be hidden from Allah. He hears, sees and knows everything that we say and do. Nevertheless we grow up knowing that lying is wrong, but in some cases maybe not. We often hear the phrase “honesty is the best policy.” On the flip side we are also told that it is at times okay to bend the truth a little, sometimes. For example, someone prepares a meal that is not to our liking. We wouldn’t come out and tell them how awful it was, instead we may say that it was delicious and say thank you. Is this necessarily wrong? Is it okay to lie in order to spare someone’s feelings?

“…Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.” [Quran 39:3]

Big or Small/ Black or White

We have often heard people say that they have told a little white lie. This usually indicates something like what I mentioned above. When someone invites us to a gathering and we just don’t have the energy to go, we might say that we have a previous engagement.When we really do not. No big deal right? No harm, no foul and no one is hurt. Right? The term little white lie is used to define a lie where no one gets hurt, and “big” lies are usually lies that involve one or more parties getting hurt. We convince ourselves that these small lies are okay. We justify them, especially because no one really gets hurt. It is the people who tell the “bigger” lies who truly have bad motives and intentions. They are the ones who set out to hurt others, therefore they are really the ones who need to watch out. I personally feel that there is no justification for lying, rather we should learn to speak kindly in those situations where we feel we cant be entirely truthful. We can be truthful, we just need to find the right words. Society allows us to categorize lies, good, bad, big, small, black, white. The truth is a lie is a lie and it is wrong. People lie with the intent to deceive another person.

Lie: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. Webster dictionary

“O you who have believed! Fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.” [Quran 33:70]

Friends and Family

How many times have we found ourselves in situations where we have had to tell little white lies. A close friend asks how she looks in a certain outfit and in order to not hurt her feelings, you tell her that she looks great, when maybe she doesn’t. Or that one family member calls and you tell them that you were just on your way out the door, just to avoid getting stuck on the phone for an hour. Or what about when we embellish a little on our resume? I mean we are qualified for the job, but sometimes having that little extra sparkle helps get that little increase in pay right? The lines between white lies and more malicious lies have become very blurred. The truth however is that our friend may go out in her outfit and have others tell her that her outfit is not as nice as she thought. Or was told. Now she is embarrassed. Our family member may have really needed some help but because of our little white lie they were unable to get it. Lastly, while we were bending the truth on that resume, just a little, maybe someone with those credentials who really needed that job missed out. But wait, I thought that little white lies were harmless, no one gets hurt.

Prophet Muhammad said:

“Indeed, truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and a truthful person continues to speak the truth until he becomes the most truthful person. Lies lead to evil and evil leads to Hell, and a liar continues to lie until he is listed as a high ranking liar before Allah.” [Al-Bukhari]

Spouses

One of the principal foundations of our marriage is trust. Trust is something that is easily broken, but can take a lifetime to repair. Some will say that it is okay for a husband to lie to his wife in order to please her or make her happy. For example, there are times when I may be trying a new recipe and ask my husband to be the taste tester. He will tell me if it is good or not, and honestly I would rather him tell me truthfully than lie to me. Even if he did not like it, and his heart was in the right place, I would still rather hear the truth with kind words, rather than a lie. However, I can see one overlooking this sort of lie. After all, we do not want to hurt our spouse.

And (what means): “…And do not conceal testimony, for whoever conceals it – his heart is indeed sinful….” [Quran 2:283]

At times it may seem easy to overlook or allow these lies. Because they don’t involve infidelity or cause pain to our spouse, it doesn’t seem so bad. Research shows that telling small lies and getting away with it makes it easier to tell bigger lies. Lying and or withholding the truth destroys relationships. The relationship that we have with our spouse is in my opinion the second most important relationship that we should grow and nurture. The first being with Allah subhanahu wa ta ala. It is one that we should take very special care of, and never take the risk of compromising it by lying. There should never be a reason to lie to our spouse. We should alway feel comfortable telling them exactly how we feel.

Why Do People Lie

Why do people lie? We have focused on white lies. Those that are not intended to hurt, but rather spare someone’s feelings. I have personally, recently been in a situation with my spouse where he withheld something from me because he thought that I would get upset. However, when I found out, I was twice as hurt. One, because he kept something from me, and two, for whatever reason, he felt like he couldn’t come to me beforehand and talk to me about the situation. Even the most minimal of lies can do some pretty extensive damage and cause a breakdown in communication.

There are also those who lie with the intent to deceive. They dont always intend to hurt someone else, but that is because they do not intend to get caught. They have this mentality of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” We should always remember that while we may be able to deceive those around us, we can never deceive our Creator. He sees and knows everything.

“…The curse of Allah be upon him if he should be among the liars.” [Quran 24:7]

Damage and Repair

Lying can cause damage that can not always be repaired. It can ruin relationships and change the way that people deal with us in the future. We lose credibility when we lie. It becomes a challenge for those around us to maintain relationships with us. The very core of who we are has now been compromised. Even if we are blessed to be forgiven, the relationship as we knew it will never be the same. Is it even worth it? We’ve potentially lost relationships, and we’ve disappointed ourselves and more importantly, Allah.

“…Indeed Allah does not guide one who is a transgressor and a liar.” [Quran 40:28]

“…And do not conceal testimony, for whoever conceals it – his heart is indeed sinful….” [Quran 2:283]

Why We Should Tell the Truth

The truthful are most beloved by Allah (SWT). Telling the truth is one of the foundations of what Islam stands on. Allah (SWT) prohibits lying and implores us to choose righteousness and truthfulness above all else.

“You who believe, heed Allah and stand by those who are truthful” (Quran 9:119).

“You who believe, guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point” (Quran 33:70).

So even in those instances where lying seems like it may not be such a big deal, or maybe it just seems easier to tell those little white lies, we must keep in mind the consequences that may not be faced here, but in the Hereafter.

However, if you find yourself in a situation where you have told a lie and feel the guilt, consider it a blessing. There are people in this world to whom lying comes so easily that they no longer feel that feeling of guilt. Feeling guilty for our sins is a blessing from Allah (swt). We should take this opportunity to repent and ask for forgiveness. Allah is the most Forgiving and All- Merciful. May Allah (swt) guide us and keep us on the right path. May our hearts and intentions be pure.