How to Keep Your Love Strong During Ramadan

Rebecca Pena

Although married couples are not permitted to be intimate to the level which may lead to sexual intercourse while fasting, there are many other ways to express your love for one another during Ramadan.

Allah swt says:

“It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset. And do not have relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques. These are the limits [set by] Allah, so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may become righteous.” [Quran 2:187]

Therefore, it is important to remember that while sexual activity during the day is strictly prohibited, after Maghrib and until the beginning of Fajr the next morning, resuming sexual relations with your husband is not forbidden. Although you may probably be tired from the long days of fasting, it is worth knowing the boundaries and what is allowed for the month of Ramadan.

Today, I will be sharing a few tips that will allow you to create time for your spouse, help you bond with your husband, and assist in strengthening your iman as a wife during the holy month of Ramadan. Striving for a happy marriage even during the busy days of Ramadan will cement the foundations for a blessed marriage throughout the rest of the year, InshaAllah.

1) Make time for your spouse

You may be asking, how do I even find the time for myself during Ramadan, much less find the time to spend with my husband? Quite frankly, life can become very hectic during Ramadan, especially with young children, and it seems as if everything has gotten completely out of control.  However, what often calms this tornado is preparation and focusing on what really matters, our final destination, jannah. And how do we achieve jannah? InshaAllah 

One of the ways that a woman will enter Paradise is by pleasing her husband, as the Prophet Muhammad  PBUH said:

“Whichever woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, then she enters Paradise.” [At- Tirmidhi]

Taking the above into consideration, it is no wonder that the thought of pleasing your husband refocuses your thoughts.Creating time for your husband is a goal every wife should strive for, especially in the holy month of Ramadan, as rewards are multiplied. Make multiple intentions when you set out to please your husband: to increase your patience with his shortcomings, to control your anger, to be kinder; so you get multiple rewards for each of these intentions, InshaAllah.

2) Eat suhoor and iftar with your husband

One way in which you can spend time with your spouse is by eating suhoor and iftar with him, for this is a beautiful way to connect with one another during Ramadan. Furthermore, these times provide a great opportunity for each of you to discuss your progress in terms of your Ramadan goals and to remind each other that you are both fasting for the sake of Allah swt. If your husband breaks his fast at the masjid, then try and set a time later in the evening for a light meal to make up for it. Even if you are unable to make this happen everyday, try and plan it for two or three evenings a week, and you can even get the children involved in these discussions. The aim is to have a stress-free and calm environment in which to connect and enjoy each other’s company.

3) Have your husband help out

A great way to show someone you care for them is to help them out during their most stressful times; you will know this better than anyone if you are a mother with young children. With that being said, there are many ways in which husbands can assist their wives during Ramadan, such as loading the dishwasher, watching the children, or helping to prepare suhoor and iftar. Certainly, having a helping hand is very much appreciated and increases the love between a husband and wife because they are doing something together. Before Ramadan begins, have a discussion with him and suggest ways that he can help you. That you can help one another. Remind him of the great reward that is attached to helping others, especially during Ramadan.

4) Increase your knowledge as a couple

Another effective way for couples to increase their love for one another during Ramadan is to tune into Islamic lectures together about marriage in Islam,or reading books regarding the rights of husbands and wives in Islam. Listening to Islamic lectures or reading Islamic material from books can be done together any time throughout the day, and is a great way to not only gain knowledge, but to also spend quality time together while strengthening your bond.

5) Send each other a hadith

This is something that my husband and I do daily. We often read that one tip for maintaining a healthy marriage is leaving each other sweet “I love you” notes. Whether it’s on his desk at home or maybe through text. Just little reminders throughout the day to let him know how you feel. During Ramadan,we can do this by sending each other text messages. For instance, send him a hadith about jannah and tell him you are reminding him of the beauty that awaits you both, to motivate you both to work hard, so that you both may meet each other in jannah one day:

“Kauthar is a river in Paradise whose banks are of gold and its bed is of rubies and pearls. Its soil is more fragrant than musk, its water is sweeter than honey and whiter than snow.” [Sunan IbnMajah]

Sending and receiving a beautiful hadith like this during Ramadan will remind you both of the beautiful gifts that you will receive for your sacrifices in this life, InshaAllah.

6) Encourage each other

Encourage each other to read the Qur’an daily, to memorize surahs and duas, and to pray on time during Ramadan. With every spoken word of sincere encouragement comes plentiful reward. And with every word of encouragement that you share, is a reminder of your love for one another, for only loved ones encourage each other to be the best they can be in order to make it to jannah together. InshaAllah

7) Prepare yourself for his return from i’tikaf

If you’re like me, I’m sure you like to get dressed up for those fun Eid celebrations with family. This Ramadan, try and take some time out to glam yourself up a day early, just for your husband, if he has gone for i’tikaf. After 10 days of not seeing you and spending every moment in the worship of Allah swt, your husband will appreciate that you made an effort just for him. Again, with the intention of pleasing Allah swt through pleasing your husband, this will ensure enormous reward for you, and guarantee a happy husband!

8) Make dua in secret for one another

Ramadan has countless ways for duas to be accepted. So, for truly lasting happiness, make a sincere dua  that Allah swt, bless your marriage and increase the love and understanding between you and your spouse. Abu Dharr reported that Allah’s Messenger swt said:

“There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the Angels do not say: The same be for you too.” [Sahih Muslim] 

Although there are some restrictions that may seem to make it difficult to maintain a strong, healthy bond/ relationship with your spouse during the Holy month, there are many things that we can do that are permissible and will not only please Allah swt, but will also strengthen the bond between husband and wife. May Allah swt keep us strong and continue to strengthen our marriages InshaAllah.

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.