The memorial project in honor of Ahmad Woody Bagala-Alina Kayanja has begun and will be ending soon. We received a total of 236,93 Euros (254.03684 USD) as donations from different individuals. We are thankful for your efforts.
Jazaakummullaahu Khaeran!
Breakdown of how the money was spent:
Donation of €225 (excluding charges for transfer cost at €3.90 extra: see receipt above) to Masjid Darul Khair Quran Memorisation Centre, Busumbala, the Gambia for renovation of the mosque’s floor and acquisition of new carpets (ongoing project). Below are some of the pictures of the mosue pior to the donations:
Masjid Darul Khair Quran Memorisation Centre, Busumbala, the Gambia
Donation of €9,1 towards water projects under:We will update more pictures once the project at Masjid Darul Khair Quran Memorisation Centre, Busumbala, the Gambia is complete. ( See card above).
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Contributions received through Wazeer from sister Malika = €59
Nothing tastes better than that first sip of water or that first date after 12 to 15 hours of fasting.
Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam and an obligation to all Muslims excused by conditions such as pregnancy, breastfeeding, illness, or other chronic health conditions. If you are not sure of any health conditions that you may have, please consult with your physician to make sure that fasting is okay for you.
Stop Fasting If You Feel Unwell
During a fast, you may feel a little tired, hungry and irritable, but you should never feel unwell. To keep yourself safe, especially if you are new to fasting, consider limiting your fast periods and keeping a snack on hand in case you start to feel faint or ill.
“[Observing Saum (fasts)] for a fixed number of days, but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days. And as for those who can fast with difficulty, (e.g. an old man, etc.), they have (a choice either to fast or) to feed a Miskin (poor person) (for every day). But whoever does good of his own accord, it is better for him. And that you fast, it is better for you if only you know.”
— Quran: 2:184
For those fasting for the first time, or after a long absence, here are a few tips for Muslims to make sure you have a blessed and successful Ramadan fast.
1 – Overcome Your Fears About Dry Fasting
One thing that many converts to Islam mention as a big fear is to go without water for long stretches at a time, especially during the hot summer months. We’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s extremely unhealthy to go without food and water. However, for most adults, not eating anddrinking is more about mindset than any real danger to our bodies. Unless we have chronic health issues or conditions that might prevent us from successfully fasting, dry fasting for the month of Ramadan is perfectly safe. Going without food and drink for extended periods of time is actually called “dry fasting.” Reading more about the practice of dry fasting without water from multiple sources can help you get over any mental blocks. And again, If this is your first time fasting please check with your health care provider before making any decisions.
2 – Keep Your Intention to Please Allah (SWT)
Keeping your intention for pleasing Allah is essential to a successful Ramadan. Make the intention that your fast is for Allah alone. Make dua that Allah makes it easy for you and also that He accepts your fast for His sake.
“Sahl bin Sa’d (RA) reported Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) as saying: “In Paradise there is a gate which is called Rayyan through which only the people who fast would enter on the Day of Resurrection. None else would enter along with them. It would be proclaimed: Where are the people who fast that they should be admitted into it? And when the last of them would enter, it would be closed and no one would enter it.” [Muslim]
Observing Ramadan is one of the most rewarding acts of worship (ibadah). Read about the virtues of fasting. It will refresh your faith and give you the boost to restrict hunger, thirst, bad habits, and other desires.
3 – Do Practice Fasts
Start with a few fasts beforehand. Aim to fast before the blessed month to understand your body clock, thirst level, and the quantities and types of foods that keep you active and alert.
If possible, fast a few days in the month and weeks before Ramadan starts to see how your body responds and what it can tolerate.
This is especially important if you haven’t fasted before or it has been a very long time since you last fasted. It applies also for kids who are trying to fast for the first time. Fasting a few days beforehand can help get your body used to the idea so it’s not as much of a shock to your system when Ramadan starts.
Practicing fasting before Ramadan does wonders. However, it’s not advised to do practice fasts in the few days just before Ramadan, since the Prophet has directed us not to:
“Abu Hurayrah (AS) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Do not anticipate Ramadan by fasting one or two days before it begins, but if a man habitually fasts, then let him fast” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
4 – Take Your Healthy Eating to the Next Level
Ramadan is not only about gaining closeness to Allah swt, it is also about detoxing the mind, spirit and body. So it’s a good time to stay away from unhealthy foods while you try to eat as clean as possible.The first week of Ramadan is usually the hardest as your body adjusts to the drastic change. By week two you will generally feel better. By weeks three and four it will become more a matter ofthirst, not hunger, during the day.
5 – Eat a Moderate-sized Healthy Meal for Both Suhoor and Iftar
Have a proper meal, even at suhoor. A meal with fruits, veggies, slow release carbs, and protein will keep your energy level up as much as possible. These 10 mason-jar prepare-ahead meals are a great place to start. Bean-based meals can make you gassy So beans, while filling, may be best avoided in Ramadan.Smoothies and shakes are another great way to get all your nutrients in quickly – especially if you struggle to wake up or you wake up late. Keep some smoothie ingredients prepped ahead of time on days when you are in a rush to eat something for suhoor. Dates are also a sunnah to break your fast with because they contain beneficial micronutrients and quick energy. You can also include them in other dishes and smoothies as well.
6 – Focus on Hydration
Being hydrated is the most important. But it can be hard and uncomfortable to drink a lot of water (especially if in countries where the night is very short).Get in as much water, fresh veggies, and fruit (watermelon is a treat) as you can for suhoor or iftar. Fruit can help you get in that extra water intake. Watery fruits are a plus and perfect for suhoor. lots of regular water will replenish you. Coconut water is also really hydrating
7 – Remember You’re Not Just Fasting From Food
Mindset is super important when it comes to fasting for an entire month. Remember that you’re not fasting from food and drink, you’re fasting and refraining from bad habits as well. The key is mindfulness of Allah swt. This includes fasting from wrongdoing, haram ( forbidden) actions, bad habits, and other desires. In Ramadan, more than just eating and drinking breaks our fast. Read and learn what all of these things are. Seeking the right knowledge will dispel confusions regarding what breaks the fast, what doesn’t and what all you would have to do to make up for it.
8 – Take Power Naps
You may find that a power nap of one or two sleep cycles in the heat of the day can help both pass the time and boost your energy and productivity. A power nap can also help you feel more refreshed for the evening Taraweeh prayers.
Other people may find that naps leave them feeling more hungry or lethargic. Do what works for you and your body and leave the rest.
9 – Listen to Your Body and Know Your Limits
Finding Ramadan and fasting difficult is part of the test. You can share that you are finding it difficult and should never be made to feel inadequate. There is nothing wrong with your faith if you find the fast difficult. But, remember to ask Allah to make it easy for you.
If you need to break your fast for a valid reason – like illness, travelling, pregnancy or breastfeeding – do it. Don’t guilt yourself. Focus on trying your best and know your limits.
Fasting takes time and practice and many other Muslims have been doing it for most of their lives.
Remember, everyone finds the first few fasts hard. It takes time for our body to adjust and for us to generally get into a new routine. May Allah swt make it easy for everyone and accept all of our fasts for His sake. Ameen https://www.youtube.com/embed/oYTUptOqNNY?feature=oembed
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
In the modern age, the status of men and women is often the topic of arguments or discussions. Islam has given great focus on having a balanced and ethical marriage that will lead to a long successful marriage InshaAllah. Our religion has explained to us a number of aspects pertaining to the duties and responsibilities of husband and wife towards their spouses. However, due to the social customs and pressures, the requirements are twisted into patterns in order to meet the wants and needs of the society and not of the religion. Marriage being one of the targets ruined by the norms of our society. We live in a society where most people think that gender roles are considered sexist. That it is an ideology straight out of the 1950’s.. This idea that the husband works and the wife stays and takes care of the home is some sort of old fashioned mentality. Some translate this into this idea the women are beneath men because their place is in the home, cooking ,cleaning, and taking care of any children. Some sort of inequality. While some women, myself included, are perfectly fine staying home and holding the fort down while their husband works, many are not. There are many women who work outside of the home whether because they need to or they choose to. I personally like to use the term duties or responsibilities versus “roles”, when talking about what the husband/ wife should do in order to maintain a happy, healthy environment at home. However, I’m not just talking about financial duties. I’m speaking of emotional and physical as well. Both husband and wife have many needs that should be met by their spouse. Here are a few of the rules that we live by our home in order to do just that.
His Responsibilities – Sherif Hikal
1. Husbands are the Guardian of their Families
A husband is commanded by the law of Allah to treat his wife with equity, to respect her feelings, and show her kindness and consideration. Although both husband and wife are the wheels that make the vehicle go, men are given a larger portion of qualities that make them stronger in terms of guarding their families.
“Men are the maintainers of women, because Allah has made some of them to excel others…” (4:34).
Islam has given men the responsibility of supporting their women and their families. According to our Prophet (PBUH):
“Men are the guardians of their families and it is the responsibility of every guardian to guard those who fall under his own guardianship.” – (Mustadrak, vol 2, p 550)
What I gather from these two verses is that it is our job as husbands to protect our wives and families. We should not only protect them in the physical sense, but it is our duty as Muslim men to protect their honor and their hearts. Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family. It is very sad that this relationship which Allah swt has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.
Allah described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran:
‘ He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) ” (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
2. Don’t Be a Tyrant
Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said:
‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives” (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi)
3. Never Be Abusive
Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your wife.The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said:
‘How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?”
I’d also like to mention something regarding verbal abuse. At times we may find ourselves frustrated or overwhelmed with whatever may be going on that day. Maybe someone has made us angry, maybe our wife has done something to upset us. Be careful with how you speak to her. No matter what the cause of frustration is, take a step back and think before you speak. Many times when we are angry or upset, we end up saying things that we wish we hadn’t. Things that we can’t take back.
4. Show Affection
Be affectionate towards your wife. There are many ways that this can be done. Physical touch being the most obvious, but there are far more ways that we can show our affection.
Tell her how much you appreciate her. By showing your wife gratitude and acknowledging her hard work, you will make her feel a sense of accomplishment and this will help keep her motivated to do the hard work she does. It also means that if you are grateful to your wife then you are grateful to Allah for blessing you with her company because it was Allah swt that gave you the opportunity to unite together in marriage. Thank your wife very often and tell her that you appreciate all her work and effort and say Alhamdulillah for her companionship.
5. Help and support her in her daily chores
Be your wife’s greatest support and offer to help her with any task, whether it be big or small. Your wife wants to feel like you are working together as a team to build your family and maintain your home.
The prophet helped out around the house, serving his family often.
Al-Aswad said,
“I asked ‘A’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, ‘What did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do when he was with his family?’ She replied, ‘He would do chores for his family, and when it was time for the prayer, he would go out.’”Bukhari Al Adab Al Mufrad (Sahih)
6. Listen To Her
Men don’t always have to be solution-oriented sometimes when women open up about their issues. I know I’m not. In fact there have been times when I myself don’t get why my wife gets as upset and emotional over some of the things that she does. However, by simply showing empathy and understanding, it can be very therapeutic for her. Acknowledge her emotions and appreciate her perspective and give her your full attention when she speaks to you.
7. Spend quality time with Her
Spend quality time with her at home but also try to explore other ways to build your companionship. Make time for her. I know that for me personally, work takes a lot of my time. Between that and kids and everyday life, it can be hard to find time to do anything else. Still, give her the time and attention she deserves and ask Allah swt to put barakah in the time you spend together.
An example is that of Prophet Muhammad with Aishah: One day a young group of Abyssinian men were dancing in Masjid Nabawi. Aishah said to the Prophet that she wanted to watch them. So she leans and places her chin on the shoulder of the Prophet ﷺ, his noble bodyguarding her. Her cheek was touching his cheek and her arms around him as they watched the performance in the Masjid. And he gently asks her “Are you done yet?” She said “No, not yet’ and this happened a few times. She finally moves away.
After the Prophet ﷺ passed away she confesses that “By Allah, I had no interest in watching those people dancing; I just wanted my face to be on his face”.
Her Responsibilities – Rebecca Pena- Hikal
The sacred union of marriage ties two people in a bond where they accept each other in sickness and in health, till death does them part. In the initial period of this journey, a couple is madly in love with each other and cherishes every little detail they get to know about their partner. I believe this is called the honeymoon phase. Over time, both parties realize that things are not quite as perfect as they had once seemed. Life happens. You fall on hard times for one reason or another and when the emotions take over, you start to see a different side of the person that you married. It does not mean that you love them any less, it just becomes a matter of understanding your duty as a wife.I know that when the going gets tough in our home, it’s usually Sherif who stays calm. I am the one who goes overboard. I mentioned in a previous post that he had lost his job in 2017. By this time we had already been married almost 9 years. However, it was during this time that I realized I had no clue what it meant to be a good wife. Sure I cooked, kept a clean home, took care of our children, everything that I was supposed to do…. right? Wrong. When things got tough, I panicked. I went into emotional overdrive, while he remained calm.
“The Prophet (P.B.U.H) stated: ‘There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage’.”
“Imam Rida (R.A) stated: ‘The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence’.”
8.Respect Your Husband
Let’s be honest, we don’t know what our husbands go through during the day. The kinds of people they have to deal with. And if your husbands are anything like mine, the last thing that he wants to talk about or think of is work. There were times when I was insistent on talking about one issue or another as soon as he walked through the door. Not even thinking about the fact that he had just spent the last fifteen hours sitting at a desk dealing with all kinds of issues. This would lead to him getting upset, my getting more upset, words being exchanged and so on. We are supposed to respect, love and support them when they return home from work to make them realize that they have someone who cares for him. It might get difficult for you at times to be polite and courteous to your spouse but it is necessary to do so. Teach your children to always give him the respect that he deserves. Plus, whenever he enters the house, open the door with a smile. These small things do create a good impact on the mind and heart of your husband.
9.Be Careful When Complaining
This is one area where I not only struggle, but I really had a tough time comprehending. Now I’m not saying dont bring your concerns and legitimate complaints to your husband, some things need attention and need to be discussed. However, there is a fine line between gentle reminders and full on nagging complaints. We all have things that we want to talk about at the end of the day. I personally can’t wait until my husband gets home so that I can tell him all about my day. This is also the time that I bring to his attention the behavior of our children and anything that they may have done that was not right. Remember that there is a time and place for everything. There have been many times that I was waiting at the door as soon as my husband walked in ready with my list. Not even thinking of the long, exhausting day that he may have had. Starting your list of complaints right away probably isn’t a good idea. Your husband might not say it that often, but they also do have an entire journal of problems to deal with. Don’t make him feel bad for not wanting to listen right then and there. If it’s something really urgent tell him, if not, look for a proper time and then present your problems to him.
“The Prophet (S) of Islam stated: ‘The prayers of a woman who teases her husband with her tongue, are not accepted (by Allah) even though she fasts every day, gets up for the acts of worship every night, sets free a few slaves and donates her wealth in the way of Allah. A bad-tongue woman who hurts her husband in this way is the first person who enters hell’.”
Trust Your Husband
We all have insecurities at the end of the day, however, it is important to be mindful of those insecurities so that they don’t take over at the worst possible times. There were times in the beginning of our marriage that my husband would come home from work and be so tired he wouldn’t want to talk to me or anyone for that matter. He just wanted to be alone. My mind would race as this is so not like him. Then the questions came. What happened? Why is he like this? Why doesn’t he want to talk to me? Is he upset with me? Did I say something? Well I would ultimately go and begin my interrogation which in the end, only made his day worse. Don’t take things personally. Especially if you know that you’ve done nothing wrong and he just walked through the door after a long day. Give him time to unwind. He’ll come around, you’ll see.
Be His Peace
I read a quote somewhere that said “ Be his peace not his panic” To me, this made a lot of sense. As wives we are supposed to be his peace just as he is to be ours. We are supposed to bring out the best in one another and help the other to become better. Whatever you do as a wife, the first thing you must have at the back of your mind is that your spouse is another fellow Muslim. Hence, you have to consider your husband first as a Muslim and anything else second. You have to treat him with respect for there can be no peace in a marriage without respect. Love cannot exist in the absence of respect. Once there is respect, another thing you need to help your husband with is to help him become a better Muslim. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said of a good wife:
The best property that a man can have is a tongue that remembers Allah, a heart full of gratitude and a believing wife who assists him in his faith.
So as a Muslim wife, it is your primary duty to help your husband in his deen (faith). If he is not punctual with his duties as a Muslim, encourage and support him every step of the way. That said, you are expected to give your husband the kindest and most merciful treatment. You should be kind to your husband in your speech and manners. Your husband is human and that means that there will be moments of weakness for him too, there will be periods when he will make mistakes, do not take it out on him as the wife. Be supportive, understanding, and encouraging at all times.
Defend Him
In addition to all that has been said earlier, another way you should treat your husband is to be his defender. The same way the husband is expected to defend your honor and pride in your presence and absence, you should also do the same for him as his wife. You should be able and willing to defend him and protect his image even when he is not around.
As a woman, Allah (SWT) has created you to be quite different from a man. The way he reasons and looks at issues is going to be remarkably different from yours. Now that you know this, you will have to display a lot of tolerance and patience in all you do. Almighty Allah (SWT) and the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) told us in many instances to be very patient and tolerant in all that we do. So, you need to apply these qualities to your marriage too.
May Almighty Allah (SWT) give Muslim couples the best in their marriages, Ameen.
About the Authors: Meet the Hikals
Asalaam Alaikum wa- rahmatu-llahi wa- barakatuh. My name is Sherif Hikal. I am from Cairo, Egypt. I came to the United States in 1996 on a student visa and began my studies at the University of Houston. I met my wife in 2007 and we married in 2008. We have two children, an 11 year old girl, and a 8 year old boy. I work as a coordinator for an oil inspection company. When my wife began blogging for Amirazz, she would ask me to proofread her work. She is a fairly new Muslimah and from time to time asks my opinion on certain things. I have to say that I am quite proud of her MashaAllah. I noticed that although her blogs were to me, fantastic, they were all coming from a woman’s perspective. Makes sense, but what about us men? What can we do to show our love to our wives? What is our role? I offered to help her if she ever needed me to and just like the Rebecca that I know, she jumped on it straight away and went to the Amirazz team to see what they thought. I am looking forward to working on this with my wife…. I think. But no really InshaAllah through our experiences we can hopefully give some tips on how to push through those hard times, and make the most out of the best times. Marriage is not always easy. However, the important thing is to remember that we should support our wives when they need it. Be their strength when they feel weak. Love them and treat them like the queens that they are.
Who We Are
Asalaam Alaikum wa- rahmatu-llahi wa- barakatuh. My name is Rebecca. As my husband has already stated most of who we are above, I just want to say that I am looking forward to writing a few pieces with him. I am a stay at home mom and spend most of my time with my children. Sherif and I have had our fair share of trials and tribulations throughout our marriage. We both have learned to be what we need and to not be what we don’t need. We have learned how to help carry, support, and show love to one another though those hard times. We have learned some pretty hard lessons in forgiveness as well as patience and mercy. Our goal is to help in any way that we can. You name it we’ve been through it, and because of it all we are stronger and closer than ever. Alhamdulillah.
Why We are Doing This
In 14 years we have been through just about every issue that a married couple could go through. I’m not kidding. There were times when I was not sure how we were going to pull through. If we were going to pull through. Through it all we made it. We worked hard at being better spouses to one another. It takes lots of time, patience and hard work. You have to put Allah first, have a tremendous amount of faith, and trust that everything will work out InshaAllah.
May Allah swt bless and protect all of our marriages and give us the strength to be the best husbands and wives that we can be. Ameen
We are about to finish our first week of Ramadan 2021, I wish that all of you are having a blessed Month and fasting is going easy for everybody inshaAllah.
I would like to give you some suggestions of menus for this second week, I hope that can be useful for you.
Prepare a weekly menu planning has several advantages during the whole year but especially in Ramadan:
Save time. Planning your meals for the week can help you to manage your time better and have more time for worship.
Portion control.
Reduces the amount of food waste.
Reduces the stress of cooking last minute.
Save money.
Avoid unhealthy options.
Enjoy more variety.
MY IFTAR MENUS PLAN FOR THE SECOND WEEK
Day 1
Khoshaf (a mix of dried fruits and nuts with water, cinnamon and honey) and lemon juice
Pumpkin Soup
Arugula salad with apple and white cheese
Chichen maqluba
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and stuffed baklava with nuts , espresso or tea
Day 2
Dates stuffed with walnuts. Lemon juice
Bisara soup
Spaghetti Bolognese (with meat and vegetable, cheese and tomato sauce)
Roasted eggplants
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and Omo Ali, espresso or tea
Day 3
Dates stuffed with almonds and Tamarind juice.
Zucchini soup with cheese
Green salad with mandarins and sesame
Chicken fajitas with vegetables and fries
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and tiramisu, espresso or tea
Day 4
Dates covered with dark chocolate. Fresh mango juice.
Potatoes and tuna salad with roasted pepper
Baked seabass with roasted vegetables
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and basbousa, espresso or tea
Day 5
Khoshaf and Qamar el Din juice (Apricot Juice).
Harira (Morocco soup with meat and chickpeas)
Tomato, coriander, green onions and avocado salad (Pico de Gallo)
Chicken panne
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and brownie, espresso or tea
Day 6
Assorted dried fruits with milk and Orange juice.
Coleslaw salad and baba ganoush salad
Roasted kofta with vegetable saute .
Egyptian rice with noodles
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and qataifs stuffed with nuts, espresso or tea
Day 7
Dated stuffed with pistachios and sobia .
Meat consomé
Cucumber salad with mint
Roasted Beef with potatoes pure and gravy
Beef Sambousas
Dessert: Assorted of fruits and konafa with mango, espresso or tea
Author Marisa Lopez Chicote
About the Author: Marisa Lopez Chicote is an event planner and mother of 5, living in Cairo and Muslim since 1985 alhamdullah. I love travelling and cooking.
Many times throughout our lives, we will find ourselves right in the middle of conflict and or uncomfortable situations. Whether it be with our spouses, family members, friends, coworkers, or even a complete stranger. It can be an exchange of words or our actions that are a direct cause of this conflict. What happens when there is an exchange of words that takes an unfortunate turn? Maybe we feel that someone has hurt our feelings, or we feel that we have been disrespected. What if we are the one causing the hurt and or we are the ones being disrespectful? How we handle ourselves in these circumstances is extremely important. It is a direct display of our character and who we are. Going through the feelings of hurt, holding ourselves accountable, forgiving, and moving on. It’s quite the process. Although our words and actions can leave a mark on those involved, it is our response in my opinion, that can have a more lasting effect. We all lose our cool from time to time. Afterall we are all human. We can all agree that it is important to remain respectful at all times. But again, we are human. So today we are going to talk a little bit about all of the above. How do we not only handle ourselves in these types of situations, but how can we make things right?
Respect is a two way street. We are taught that in order to receive respect we must also give respect. However, there are times when we are not so respectful towards those around us. It’s not always about having an intent to be disrespectful, many times I myself have been in situations where I felt like I was not being heard or understood. As a result, my need to be heard came out in a form of disrespect. I definitely could have used better words. Whether it is our need to be heard or our passion for one thing or another that causes us to say or behave in ways that we normally wouldn’t, how do we begin to rectify the situation? We are human and it is almost guaranteed that at some time or another we will cause someone to feel that they have been disrespected, with no intention of doing so. A couple of weeks ago I was trying to get my point across to my husband. I felt like he was not validating my feelings. He was listening to me but somehow I felt like I was not being heard. In turn, my tone of voice and choice of words were probably not what I would have normally used had I not been so wrapped up in my own emotions and feelings. It’s not that I was “disrespectful”, but my tone of voice was enough to make him feel as if he had been disrespected. Not only did I need to hold myself accountable for the way that I had spoken to him, but I needed to take responsibility for how I had made him feel. And then to make things right.
In a perfect world we would all be conscious of our words, all of the time. For the most part, I think that in general, we do try to watch what we say. I’d like to think that we typically don’t try to be disrespectful, but that our emotions and feelings take over. Not only is it our need to be heard or understood, but at times we feel we need to stand our ground. Defending ourselves and our position is always important to us. It’s not about being right, but making sure that we are not being disrespected at the same time. Nevertheless things are said that we can not take back. Now what?
Accountability/ Responsibility
So what do we do when we say disrespectful/ hurtful things? Two options: we either own it or we don’t. This is where character comes in. Our willingness to hold ourselves accountable and accept responsibility shows our true character. It also shows the other person that there was no ill intent from the beginning. If you are the type to hold yourself accountable then you are headed in the right direction. Holding ourselves accountable and admitting that we were wrong is the first step that we must take in order to move forward. Even when we feel that the other person triggered it all and they are somehow at fault, we must still hold ourselves accountable for the things that we say and our actions. Don’t play the blame game. Own what you’ve said/ done and begin the process of moving on. Realize that somewhere along the way, we did in fact have something to do with the situation at hand. By owning up to your part, you will in turn earn respect.
The next step is taking responsibility. It’s not enough to simply hold ourselves accountable. We must take responsibility for not only what we’ve said, but the consequences that followed. Many times after an altercation, either big or small, there are consequences that follow. Hurt feelings, resentment, anger, and worse case scenario broken relationships. Either personal or professional. When we hold ourselves responsible we are able to not only see the damage that has been done, but also put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Try to feel what they are feeling. Being empathetic towards others helps us to better feel what they are feeling as well as see why they may have responded or are feeling the way that they are.
Being Disrespected
Since respect is a two way street, chances are it was our own words, actions, or response to the other party that had something to do with their response/reaction. I’m not saying that it is their fault, remember accountability, still for every action there is a reaction. Many times it is a miscommunication/ misunderstanding that led to all of this in the first place. Unfortunately when we feel disrespected, we go into defense mode. In most cases this leads to more disrespect. We should definitely defend ourselves. By no means should we allow others to treat us any old way. It’s remaining calm when doing so that will make the difference.
Accountability/ Responsibility
Just because we feel that we have been disrespected does not automatically make us the victim. We need to take a minute and reevaluate the entire situation to see what we could have said or done differently. Chances are we too played a role and need to hold ourselves accountable and take responsibility for our own actions and words. When all parties are able to admit their wrong, there is a greater chance for forgiveness and moving on.
The Apology
This may be the hardest step yet, but the most necessary. When we apologize we not only admit our wrong, we also show our willingness and desire to make amends. This will put us on the path of healing and repairing any damage that has been done.
Forgiveness and Moving Forward
In a perfect world, we would all apologize, forgive, and move on. However, in order to do this, we need to know what it is we need to do in order to get to this point. We are almost always going to find ourselves in situations like this. Whether at home, work, or with friends in general. We should always do our best to try to be mindful of our words, but the reality is many times we find that we are not. When this happens, own it. We need to take responsibility for what we say and do. Understand that even when we feel we are the one that has been disrespected, chances are we are not totally innocent. We need to hold ourselves accountable for the things that we say and do.
At the end of the day we are all adults. We should act as such. May this blessed month help us to all reevaluate and improve ourselves InshaAllah.
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
As stigma about mental health is rising, there are still different thoughts about depression which actually made me ask myself “When will people ever take depression seriously?”
Its often said that depression isn’t about feeling sad. It’s part of it, of course, but we can’t compare the two because the one dealing with depression feels as if the their inside is dying. It’s with the person when they wake up in the morning, telling them there’s nothing or anyone to get up for and there are no dreams to chase. Every single day many people around the world are diagnosed with different various stages of depression. Every single day that passes by we have people who have thoughts of committing suicide. Traumatic experiences, that could stem from any number of places. How one is parented, how one is over worked, how ones emotions are abused which breaks one’s emotional capacity. All these and so much more is happening because of our denial and the fact that we go around making fun of people who are battling depression not knowing the kind of damage its causing.
We all have our ups and downs and sometimes this pain and stress becomes too much for someone who’s dealing with depression to a point where they feel like the world is crumbling onto their shoulders or to a point where they can’t hold their tears because that pain has become unbearable and sadly that pain sticks by and affects their daily lives.
Let’s allow people to open up and let them accept the fact that they aren’t okay. No one should be ashamed of being depressed and sometimes its not easy to spot someone who’s dealing with depression since they may appear to be very happy on the outside and always put on a “happy face” but deep inside they are bleeding and feeling so helpless…
some might not even realize that they are depressed because their thinking is externally oriented and may not focus on their inner emotional state, some have sought “help” from the wrong people and all what they were told is “Just get over it” “think positive” etc etc and since they haven’t got the kind of help they needed they’ve also decided to brush it off and live a “happy life” Because they are scared that they’ll get judged.
So knowing the kind of damage depression can cause in someone’s life I think it is the high time that people get to know and learn about it because the more we ignore the more many people suffer.
Also the simple issues like media and how they can easily demonize certain groups of people and keep pointing suggestions round the clock which can cripple a person in a box, simple things like when children who are exposed on social media at a young age. They are under intense competition with other people to gain followers as a mark of value.
I really hope we can spread more awareness To the public and find new ways to reconstruct our society and make room for those who have been ousted out for their mental health.
The word Tiramisù literally means “pick me up”. It comes from the Treviso dialect, “Tireme su”, Italianised into Tiramisù in the latter half of the 20th century. Historical records state that Tiramisù originated in Treviso in 1800. It is said that this dessert was invented by a clever “maitresse” of a house of pleasure in the centre of Treviso.
Ingredients
EGGS, 4 separated yolks and whites
ICING SUGAR, 100 grams
MASCARPONE CHEESE, 500 grams
COFFEE espresso, 250 ml (about a cup)
LADYFINGERS, 200 grams
COCOA POWDER, 3 tbs
Elaboration:
1. Spread out the ladyfingers on a tray, and brush with the coffee using a pastry brush, until soaked but not soggy (you should be able to hold it without it collapsing).
2. Mix egg yolks with the icing sugar, whisk (with electric whisk) until light and creamy (the color of the mixture should lighten).
3. Stir in the mascarpone into this mixture.
4. Whisk the egg whites until they form stiff peaks(you should be able to turn the bowl upside down and the whisked egg whites not slip out).
5. Gently but thoroughly fold into the mascarpone mixture.
6. In a glass dish (preferably square/oblong) put alternate layers of cream mixture and biscuit – starting and finishing with the cream mixture.
7. Leave for at least 3 hours to chill in the ‘fridge. Preferably overnight.
8. Dust the top with cocoa powder.
About the Author: Marisa Lopez Chicote is an event planner and mother of 5, living in Cairo and Muslim since 1985, alhamdullah. She loves travelling and cooking.
Being a revert comes with many challenges. In the beginning we are so excited with our new found faith. We approach it all at full force. The desire to want to grow and learn as much as we can, as quickly as we can, can be overwhelming. What makes things even harder at times, is the lack of support many of us encounter. Many times family walks away making things even harder. On top of all of that, we find that the communities that we expect to extend their love and support, do the complete opposite, leaving us feeling alone and second guessing the choice that we have made. How do we stay focused and keep moving forward while going through these trials? This will be a two part post. Day one we will discuss the struggles reverts face on a daily basis. Day two we will discuss tips on how to cope with these struggles.
Lack of Support and Isolation
Most, if not all, reverts face this dilemma at some point. Our friends and families begin to distance themselves from us. Whether it’s a matter of not fully understanding the choice that we have just made, or they flat out do not agree with it. Whatever the reason, this brings intense feelings of loneliness and isolation. The people that we once felt closest to have turned their backs on us. At least that’s how it feels. Depending on where you live, finding a good support system within the Muslim community can be difficult. Believe it or not, there are many who are not so willing to take you under their wing. On the upside, sometimes a little alone time can be beneficial. After all we are never truly alone. Allah swt is with us always.
Stuck In the Middle
At times we feel as if we are stuck between two worlds. It is like we are in a limbo of sorts. Swinging between two worlds and are unable to be comfortable in neither, as we no longer fit in the non-Muslim world we have left and haven’t yet found our place in the Muslim one we have entered. We struggle as a revert to find acceptance from those around us as we are viewed as betrayers of our nationality. This was the case with me and my family. I come from a traditional Mexican family, so not only was I making the catastrophic decision to walk away from my faith, but I had somehow turned my back on my own culture/ nationality so that I could join my husbands. Many times we face rejection from our own families. I rarely see my own family due to the fact that they can not stand to see me in my hijab. It is a constant reminder to them of what they consider to be the biggest betrayal.
“Coming Out” in a timelike this
During a time when Islam is portrayed as a religion of violence. We have to deal with the issues of confronting our families and our society as well. With all of the misinformation about Islam that is flooding the media these days, and has been since 9/11, when someone chooses to embrace Islam, it often comes as a great shock to our family and everyone around us. Most often families feel that the revert is no longer the person they used to know and love. Distorted images of extremists and terrorist groups flood their minds and sometimes they go to extreme measures to make the new Muslims leave this strange new way of life and return to being our old selves When we cannot find support and see so much rejection around us, we may become scared and prefer to just go back to being non-muslims. There was a short time when I too thought “ Am I doing the right thing?” “ Is it worth it?” It can be so difficult at times that we just want to give up and just take the easy road. Early on in my own personal journey, a good friend of mine, Leila, said to me “ Allah swt tests those whom He loves the most.” It was these very words and my own heart’s desires of course that kept me going. No matter how tough the road may seem, never lose sight of the ultimate goal. Closeness to Allah swt. Remind yourself of why and how you came to make this beautiful decision. Although the challenge of dealing with the hate and insult that is fuelled by Islamophobic prejudices, is something faced by all Muslims, the struggles as a revert Muslim may seem slightly more difficult. This is because most of the time, we are facing it from our own families. People we feel we can relate to in terms of culture e.g. friends. And in some cases, for people, who, in the past had already faced prejudice due to their ethnicity, this can be an additional cross for them to bear. The struggle to find our place within the Muslim community, while tryign to maintain our place within our own families is tough. Stay strong and rest on Allah. Trust Him.
What’s Reliable and What’s Not?
As new Muslims we are all fired up and want to absorb all of the information that we can regarding Islam. It is no doubt and can sometimes be confusing, with the volume and variety of sources available, so many opinions and so many Quranic verses and hadith to back up all these opinions, it can be really easy to become confused and not know who to trust. Especially when you are learning and are not quite sure what is an opinion and what is a fact. It becomes somewhat impossible to know where to start, where to look and whom to turn to. Add to that the highly opinionated and often loud voices of the right and the left wings, i.e the “strict adherents” on one hand and the “secular and liberal” on the other. Each claiming that their version of Islam is the right one. We are told by the left that we are too strict and we are told by the right that we are not strict enough. We are searching for where we belong, but the truth is we are strangers in this world. Strangers in our western society where we grew up and strangers in the Muslim community because we are different yet trying to blend in. These struggles as a revert leave a lot of us baffled and confused because we don’t know which way to turn. We don’t have enough support so we are left to find our own way.
Hijab
One of the biggest questions I’ve been asked, and at one point I too was asking, was, “Where do you find your strength to wear hijab?” To begin with it’s not something that we are used to. So not only do we have to get used to wearing it, we have to get used to people around us getting used to us wearing it. Here in the west we still get the occasional look, depending on where you live. Hijab is probably one of the biggest struggles for many female reverts. You have to constantly remember the reward is much bigger than this Dunya. Your strength and your pride are much greater than this society. Allah knows your struggle and your intentions. It is so important to surround yourself with positive people who remind you of your Creator. Try new styles and colors that make you feel comfortable and make lots and lots of dua. May Allah make it easy on all of us.
Marriage
New Muslim sisters cringe at the slew of questions that are thrown at us. The most common being that they changed their faith to get married. Or after they married. While this may be true for a few, for most, especially in Western countries like North America and Europe, to say that finding a spouse, getting married and staying happily married isn’t one of the greatest challenges they face, would be untrue.
Hailing from a past devoid of Islamic belief and its practice, they are sometimes avoided warily by born-Muslim immigrant families in their area that are seeking suitors for their adult and single children. When they do marry someone from a born Muslim family, it is with expectations of them sharing, if not exceeding, their own passion for Islam.
But sometimes the indifference of Muslims towards the religion of their birth is a shock for the new Muslim. A lot of new Muslim sisters enter an intercultural marriage without realising the expectations their husband or the immediate family will have. Unfortunately, we will then feel isolated within the family.
The result of this is that many women end up leaving Islam after having terrible experiences in bad marriages where they were disrespected, controlled, or even abused. The very person (the husband) who it was assumed would protect her from the vices of her American/European upbringing actually ends up driving her away because of his own cultural vices.
Haram versus Halal
Overzealous brothers and sisters often take it upon themselves to become the ‘moral police’, with little concern for subtlety or empathy for the other. And if the new Muslim is fortunate enough, (or should we say, unfortunate) to be accepted by the pack, the leader, then tries to impose his own culture which is mistaken for Islam by the unsuspecting newbie.
Many times it leaves converts with a feeling of being ‘impure’ because of their past lives as non-Muslims. Many sisters especially feel inadequate as Muslim women because of this, which even though being completely wrong is no less existent.
Too Much Too Soon…. Many reverts forget about the golden rule of “step by step” in Islam and instead, they try to do everything at once. From starting to pray five times a day, to wearing the hijab, making lifestyle changes about food and dress, getting away from music and avoiding a certain type of friends, trying to follow every single rule in Islam.
These struggles become painful as you are constantly trying to follow every rule, you’re being advised by a lot of people, some who are hypocrites. Unfortunately, you may begin to lose hope and revert back to your former self as a result. Again stay strong.
When The Enthusiasm Dies Down
Sure it’s a good thing to try and be the best Muslim you can be by striving to please your Lord. But without a strong foundation, even the tallest buildings can crumble to the ground. What happens is that without a solid foundation, very soon it all feels like a burden. Soon we begin to lose the enthusiasm we started with and end up giving up everything because we feel it is ‘just too much’. The feeling of being overwhelmed ends up taking over and many reverts go backwards and not forwards. Yes, reverts need to be incorporated into the Islamic community for integration, however, they need to take a step back and figure out how we will incorporate our own cultural practices into our new Islamic practice. This will help us to not only hold onto the identity we have been living with for most of our lives but in turn, we can be a source of positive influence on the Muslim ummah as a whole.
Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014, her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.
In ancient Egypt, bread was made of a kind of ancient wheat called “Emmer”. At that time, there were two types of grains that ancient Egyptians planted: wheat and barley.
Wheat had an important status in the Ancient Egyptian economy. It was not only used for bread making; it was also a form of payment. Wheat was both a strategic commodity of the state and kept in vaults, as well as an investment for more difficult times. Emmer earned its worth from its high fiber content, low gluten content, and organic quality. It was the food that both the rich and the poor ate, and it was a sacred plant to ancient Egyptian gods, particularly Osiris.
Harvest time was a great celebration in Ancient Egypt, especially when prayers were answered and the great Nile River flooded generously to water different crops, most importantly wheat. Even today, growing wheat brings happiness, hope and thankfulness to God by Egyptian farmers and their families.
This wheat growing tradition, which dates back more than 5,000 years, brought about Egyptian “Baladi Flatbread” – a very special bread that is not like any other. Though it may look similar to pita bread in shape, Baladi Flatbread has a much different taste.
Ancient Egyptians baked bread from emmer wheat or barley, and added wild yeast to help the dough rise. They used to flatten the dough on a round baking board and bake it on high temperature in ovens built from Nile red mud. The baking method and ingredients have remained the same in every farmer’s house in both lower and upper Egypt since the pharos started the tradition.
But what is really unique about Egyptian bread?
Bread in standard Arabic is “Khobz”, which is the most common word for bread in Arab countries, except Egypt. There, Egyptians call bread “Aish baladi”.
Baladi means traditional or authentic in English, but the word “Aish” is the key to understanding the special place of bread in Egyptian heritage. Aish means “life”, which is how Egyptians have perceived bread since ancient times. Bread is considered a commodity that Egyptians cannot live without in their daily diet. It is on every table, breakfast to dinner. It never fails to make a person feel full and happy. It is a thermometer of mood.
Poor or rich, everyone eats bread. If a person doesn’t have money and is hungry, just get a loaf of “Aish baladi” and a cup of tea. If a farmer wants to take a break from his work, he eats “Aish”, and maybe some onion, arugula, or cottage cheese.
Bread is the sign of friendship, love, loyalty, and long-lasting relations. You can hear it in friendly conversations over “breaking bread.” Aish is a symbolic expression of prosperity, as it has always been a secure job and income source for Egyptians of all ages throughout time.
“Aish Baladi” has been a dear friend to Egyptians since ancient times. A prayer to get God’s blessings during harvest time is immortal in Egyptian genes. The country sings for the bread, celebrating wheat harvest.
“Aish Baladi “is not only a food item for Egyptians; it is a reflection of Egyptian culture and a significant meaning of life.
Ingredients for 10 loaves
1 1/2 cup white flour
1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour.,
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon dry yeast
1/2 cup to 1 cup of very warm water
Cracked wheat bran for proofing
Elaboration:
In a large bowl, whisk the yeast with the water and honey and let stand until foamy, 10 minutes. Add 1 1⁄2 cups of the whole-wheat flour and 1 ½ cup of white flour stir until smooth. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and let stand for 30 minutes.
Uncover the dough and, using your hand, stir the salt and oil into the dough and then add the remaining 2 1⁄2 cups whole-wheat flour and mix until the dough comes together. Scrape the dough onto a lightly floured work surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Place the dough in a large bowl greased with oil and cover with plastic wrap. Let stand until doubled in size, about 1 1⁄2 hours.
Punch the dough down and divide into 10 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a ball and then flatten into a 5-inch circle. Lightly sprinkle the cracked wheat bran, if using, or more whole-wheat flour over 2 parchment paper-lined baking sheets. Divide the dough circles between the baking sheets and loosely cover with a kitchen towel. Let stand until slightly puffed, about 30 minutes.
On high heat, place the pan to be really hot.
Put the hand grill on the other stove top on high heat.
Take a piece of dough and flatten it with your roller over some wheat flour. Make it thin in your first trial. When you become comfortable with this recipe, you can play around with the thickness to make it fuller.
Place the flat dough on the hot pan for 10 seconds. Now flip on the other side for 10 seconds.
Move it to the hand grill and be careful with heat control.
As soon as the bread starts to rise, lower the heat a bit and flip on the other side.
Cous Cous is the National dish of several countries from Morocco to Tunisia through Algeria, the couscous speaks to everyone but is cooked a thousand different ways, according to seasonal products. This dish has charmed various European countries such as France, Spain, Italy and Portugal thanks to its taste and simplicity.
Semolina, various fresh vegetables, meat, a good broth of vegetables, and voila, you have a couscous!
There are different theories accepted as to the origin of couscous, but the most widespread, is the one that testifies to a Berber origin. But historians are divided on the exact origin of couscous and the date of its appearance in the Maghreb. Some of them affirm it is from China, others say from Eastern Africa from Sudan via Egypt.
After its appearance, each country in the Maghreb has adopted this concept to create their own recipe.
I was introduced to this delicious dish by a dear Moroccan friend, Aisha, she taught me how to make it and I have developed my own recipe with my touch as I do not like some of the traditional veggies that couscous used to have like pumpkin or turnips.
Couscous
½ kg couscous medium caliber
2 tablespoons olive oil or ghee
1.5 l water
2 to 3 tsp salt
2 tbsp soft butter
Chicken and Broth Seasoning
1 large whole chicken
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
3 fresh tomatoes, peeled and coarsely chopped
55 ml olive oil or vegetable oil
1.5 tbsp salt
1 tbsp ginger
1 tbsp pepper
1 tsp turmeric
1 handful parsley and cilantro sprigs, – tied into a bouquet
2 tsp of ghee
Veggies
100 g dried chickpeas, soaked overnight
1 small head of cabbage, cut in half or quartered
8 to 10 carrots, peeled – (cut in half lengthwise if large)
1 or 2 small tomatoes, peeled, seeded and quartered
1 or 2 small onions, cut in half – (can use some whole fresh pearl onions instead)
4 or 5 small zucchini, ends trimmed – (or 8-ball round, cut in half)
Optional Tafaya – Caramelized Onions and Raisins
70 g raisins, – soaked in water for 15 minutes
2 or 3 large onions, – preferably red
125 ml water
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp honey
0.5 tsp pepper
0.5 tsp cinnamon
0.25 tsp ginger
0.25 tsp turmeric
1 pinch saffron threads, crumbled
1 pinch salt
1 tsp orange flower water – (optional)
Elaboration:
Ahead of Time
Soak the dried chickpeas in a large bowl of water overnight. (Or, use a quick soak method: boil the dried chickpeas for 4 or 5 minutes, then turn off the heat and leave them to soak for an hour.)
Wash and prep your vegetables. Start making the tfaya
Set up an area to work with the couscous. In Morocco they use a gsaa (very wide, shallow serving and mixing dish), but another very large wide vessel or bowl can work. Have oil, water, salt, and butter out and ready. Lightly oil the steamer basket of a couscoussier.
The Broth
Brown the chicken with the oil, onion, tomatoes and spices in the base of a couscoussier over medium-high heat. Continue cooking, uncovered and stirring frequently, for about 10 to 15 minutes, until a very thick and rich sauce begins to form.
Add the soaked, drained chickpeas along with the parsley/cilantro bouquet and about 3 quarts (or liters) of water. Bring to a boil, cover, and cook over medium heat for about 30 minutes
First Steaming of the Couscous
Drizzle 1/4 cup of oil over the couscous. Toss and roll the couscous around between your hands for a minute to distribute the oil evenly and break up any balls or clumps.
Add 1 cup of water and work it into the couscous in the same way–tossing and rubbing the couscous until all is well blended and there are no clumps.
Transfer the couscous to a lightly oiled steamer basket, taking care not to compress the grains in the process. Place the basket on the couscoussier and steam for 15 to 20 minutes, timing from when the steam first appears over the couscous.
Second Steaming of the Couscous
Turn the couscous back into your gsaa or bowl. Allow it to cool briefly, then work in 1 cup of water, using the same tossing and turning as you did before. (You may need to use a wooden spoon if the couscous is too hot, but move to using your hands when it has cooled enough.)
Add the salt in the same manner, then add in another 1 cup of water. Toss and roll and rub the couscous with your hands for a good minute or two, again making sure there are no balls.
Transfer the couscous back to the steamer basket, again taking care not to compress or pack the grains.
Add the onions, tomatoes to the couscous pot, then place the couscous basket on the couscoussier. Steam for 15 to 20 minutes, timing from when you first see steam emerge from the couscous.
Third and Final Steaming of the Couscous
Turn the steamed couscous out into your bowl.
Add the turnips and carrots to the pot; cover and allow them to cook for 15 minutes while you work with the couscous.
In increments, work 2 to 3 cups of water into the couscous in the same manner as before–tossing and turning and rubbing the grains between your hands and making sure there are no clumps. Use only as much water as needed to make the couscous al dente.
Taste the couscous for salt and add a little more if desired. Transfer half of the couscous to the steamer basket, again being careful not to pack the grains.
Add the zucchini. Top with a little water if the level has dropped below the vegetables. Taste and adjust seasoning–it should be well flavored, a bit salty and peppery.
Place the couscous basket back on the pot and cook until steam begins to emerge from the couscous. Gently add the remaining couscous to the basket and continue cooking. Once you see steam rise from the couscous, allow it to steam for another 10 to 15 minutes, or until light and fluffy and the latest additions of vegetables have cooked.
To make tafaya:
Combine all tafaya ingredients (except for the orange flower water) in a small pot. Cover and simmer over medium-low heat until the onions and raisins are tender and liquids have reduced to a thick syrup, about 30 minutes to 1 hour. Stir occasionally, and add a small amount of water during cooking if it’s needed. An optional last step is to add a little bit of orange flower water to taste. Serve warm.
Serving the Couscous
Turn the couscous out into your bowl and work in the butter.
Add the ghee to the broth in the pot and swirl to incorporate.
Work about 1 cup of broth into the couscous, tossing as you did before. Arrange the couscous into a large, shallow mound in your gsaa or on a deep serving platter. Make a large indentation in the middle to hold the meat.
Retrieve the meat from the pot and place in the center of the couscous. Top it with the vegetables from the broth with a slotted spoon and arrange all around chicken (in pyramid fashion, if you like). Garnish with the chickpeas Drizzle several cups of broth carefully over the couscous. Offer the remaining broth in bowls on the side.
Tafaya is optional and can be used as a garnish or served on the side. I like to add also almonds with the Tafaya
