Category: social

Why Does Allah Test Us?

Even the genuine believers experience hardship and adversity at some stage in their lives. It is important that we remember that every test, every trial is all a part of His plan. At times it can feel like we are doing everything that we can to be the best Muslims that we can be and yet it feels as if we are being punished. We then begin to feel as if we are not doing something right in our lives. But what?

Why Does Allah Test Us

There are a number of reasons why God allows hardship and adversity in our lives. Even the genuine believers experience hardship and adversity at some stage in their lives. It is important that we remember that every test, every trial is all a part of His plan. At times it can feel like we are doing everything that we can to be the best Muslims that we can be and yet it feels as if we are being punished. We then begin to feel as if we are not doing something right in our lives. But what?

1- Test of Faith

It is Allah’s design to put us all through hardship and adversity so as to test their faith and their resolve and trust in Him. 

“Do the people think that they will be left to say” We believe without being out to the test?” (Quran 29:2)

We have tested those before them, for Allah must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars. (29:3)

We will surely test you through some fear, hunger , and loss of money, lives, and crops. Give good news to the steadfast. (2:155)

To pass the test, we must trust that only Allah swt can relieve our hardship. We must pray and call unto Him:

“ Who is the One who rescues those who become desperate and call upon Him, relieves adversity, and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is it another god with God? Really do you take heed? (27:62)

2- Cleansing our Soul

Hardship and adversity is decreed by Allah swt as a cleansing of our souls from sins we have already committed. As a result, some of the bad things that happen to us are a direct result of sins we have committed:

Anything bad that happens to you is a consequence of your own deeds, and He looks over many ( of your sins) (42:30)

The concept of cleansing us from our sins in this life is a Quranic truth. It can be achieved through the experiencing of hardship and adversity (as 42:30) For me this can be a hard pill to swallow at times. Although I am aware of the many sins that I myself have committed throughout my life, to think that even though I have completely turned my life around and doing my very best to live a life that pleases Him, I could still be paying for things that I did years ago. I have to remind myself that the adversities are all in accordance with His wisdom and plan. 

3- Gratefulness 

Suffering through hardship and adversity is a reminder for those of us who tend to take things for granted and forget all of God’s blessings. Despite all the blessings given to us by Allah swt, we can many times be unappreciative. This is me many times. While my husband is the one who is always reminding me to count my blessings, I am usually the one who always seems to find something to complain about.So many times we need that reminder, and it may come in the form of hardship and adversity. Hopefully these kinds of reminders will help us to be grateful for all of the blessings that He does bestow on us every day. 

“ If you can not count Allah’s blessings, you can never encompass them. Indeed, the human being is transgressing, unappreciative. (14:34)

When we bless the human being, he turns away, and drifts farther and farther away, and when he suffers any affliction, he implores loudly. (41:51) 

This is true for many of us. When things are going great many of us forget His presence. We get a little relaxed on our praise for Him. However, when things seem to be falling apart around us, we cry out loud for Him asking why? 

4- Remembering Allah (swt)

Adversity and hardship is also a very effective reminder for those of us who are way too absorbed in the worldly life, and thus we may not be as devoted to Allah swt as we should be. Due to our being too preoccupied with this worldly life we do not seek God nor call on God as we should:

He is the One who moves you across the sea and land. You get onto the ships and they sail smoothly in a nice breeze. the n while rejoicing therein, violent wind blows, and the waves surround them from every side. This is when they implore God, sincerely devoting their prayers to Him alone: If you only save us this time, we will be eternally appreciative. (10:22) 

But as soon as He saves them, they transgress on earth, and oppose the truth. O people your transgression is only to the detriment of your own souls. You remain preoccupied with this worldly life, then to us is your ultimate return, then we inform you of everything that you have done. (10:23) 

I have certainly found myself in this position. Crying out when there is a dire need and then forgetting all about it when there isn’t. But, we are always in need of Him. His mercy, forgiveness, love, compassion, protection, and so much more. We should be aware of His presence every day not only when we are struggling or suffering. We should thank Him every day for all that we have. Acknowledging our blessings that He bestows upon us daily will help us to become more grateful for all that we have. Reminding ourselves of His presence and goodness in our lives, not only helps us to be more grateful, but it brings peace to our hearts like nothing else can. 

5- Allah’s Power and Authority

Many people are either oblivious of, or need to be reminded of God’s absolute authority. Hardship and adversity are one way to remind us that no one can save us but Him, and also remind us of God’s absolute authority. We also need to be reminded that we need God in every minute of our lives. Sadly when God relieves the adversity, many of us return to idol worship once again. We forget how He pulled us out of said hardship and made things right again. 

O people, you are the ones who need God, while God is in no need for anyone, the Most Praiseworthy (35:15)

If the human is touched by adversity, he implores us, but as soon as we bestow a blessing upon him, he says, “ I attained this because of my cleverness!” Indeed this is only a test, but most of them do not know. (39:49) 

I’ve mentioned before that in the beginning of my journey to Islam, a good friend said to me, “ Allah tests those that He loves the most.” I remember during that time, my family was getting hit with just about every adversity you can think of. Job loss, sickness, it was coming at us from every direction it seemed like. All that I was thinking during that time was that perhaps I was doing something wrong. Maybe everyone was right and I needed to make a complete u turn and go back to what I knew. How else could this be explained? Why were all of these things happening? Especially when I was doing the right thing, right? Regardless of what I was thinking at that time, my heart would not allow me to turn back. I pushed forward, trusting that He was in control and that everything would be just fine. One of the hardest things for me was to have complete and total faith in Allah azzajawal, when everything felt like it was going south. Little did I know all of the great things that He was preparing us for. He was making me stronger. Alhamdulillah. 

May we all remain faithful and aware of His presence and all of His blessings. Ammen

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.

Ramadan and Non-Muslims

Whether it be family, for many reverts, coworkers, friends, or neighbors, chances are we spend a good portion of our day around Non- Muslims. Many times these people will have a million and one questions, but sometimes are afraid to ask. Maybe they are embarrassed, or simply don’t know how or what to ask. Educating our Non- Muslim friends not only creates a positive environment that promotes unity, but it also provides an opportunity for us to break the shell of misconceptions and help shed the light on the beauty of Islam. For Muslims living in the West, there is a greater need to showcase Ramadan – not just as the month of fast, but as the month of inspiration, the revelation of the Quran, the spreading of the Message, the solidifying of the prayer, and the general remembrance of worship that upgrades us throughout the year.

Ramadan and Non-Muslims

Whether it be family, for many reverts, coworkers, friends, or neighbors, chances are we spend a good portion of our day around Non- Muslims. Many times these people will have a million and one questions, but sometimes are afraid to ask. Maybe they are embarrassed, or simply don’t know how or what to ask. Educating our Non- Muslim friends not only creates a positive environment that promotes unity, but it also provides an opportunity for us to break the shell of misconceptions and help shed the light on the beauty of Islam. For Muslims living in the West, there is a greater need to showcase Ramadan – not just as the month of fast, but as the month of inspiration, the revelation of the Quran, the spreading of the Message, the solidifying of the prayer, and the general remembrance of worship that upgrades us throughout the year.

Sharing the Joy of Ramadan

Ideally, being a good Muslim should be one that takes place throughout the 12 months of the year, and not just punctuated during Ramadan, since Muslims should be cohesively celebrative in society, without having to compromise their beliefs and principles, and to constantly be a driving force of good values. But even if we feel we have done our best, we can always do better. So, with a couple of weeks left of  Ramadan, here are a few steps that we can take towards sharing the joy of the Holy Month with non-Muslim neighbors, friends, colleagues, and InshaAllah, society as a whole.

Start with Du’a and Intentions that are pleasing to Allah

You can’t go wrong with du’a and the best of intentions. Sharing something we love is inherent in our religion. Make sincere du’a that Allah puts blessings in our endeavors in spreading the joy of the 9th Lunar Month, and for our own personal betterment with Allah. After all, it is said that whoever pleases Allah at the risk of displeasing the people, Allah will be pleased with him or her, (and that is enough of a reward for the believer), but Allah will also make the people be pleased with that person. What better way to start spreading love and care to others especially during the month where the gates of Jannah (Paradise) are the most welcoming.

Look For Opportunities in your community

If you’re already active in your local community (community centers, library, a multi-faith agency, or local college or university), look for ways you can “represent” Ramadan, perhaps through volunteer work or simply reaching out. Many communities in the West that are diverse in nature tend to have seasonal celebrations of multi-faiths and cultures. If there is an opportunity to showcase Islam, step up as a volunteer. Sometimes, just doing a Ramadan craft with children is enough to introduce Ramadan to young families. It only really takes a little pique of interest to start inquisitive minds on a discovery reel of a new religion. Other forms of community work could include working with organizations that fund Muslim and non-Muslim charities to collaborate in charitable efforts collectively. Here in Houston we have several organizations. The one that I am familiar with feeds the homeless every Thursday night.  If you can get in touch with a reputable Muslim organization that (preferably), has already made inroads with the non-Muslim community, this would be great training grounds on how to approach the non-Muslim community. Giving out gifts prior to Ramadan, pamphlets, invitations to iftar, copies of the Quran translated into the local language, have all been means in spreading the love of Islam.

Reach out to the Closest Non-Muslims

Prophet Muhammad harbored great amounts of compassion for neighbors, and did not discriminate between his Muslim neighbors and non-Muslim neighbors. He spoke to them regularly and exchanged gifts with them, shared meals, and spoke openly about our beliefs.

Our best advocates as Muslims living in the West are our non-Muslim neighbors and friends, if adversities break out, and Muslims fall prey to the misconceptions of Islam. Make an effort to speak to neighbors at the onset of Ramadan, send invitations to share iftar meals, or simple gifts representing the meaning of Ramadan.

Every year my kids and I make these Ramadan mason jars filled with dates and sometimes nuts. Our first year living in this neighborhood, being the only Muslim family, we decided to show our neighbors a little bit of who we are. It was our way of extending ourselves to our neighbors by not only giving them a little gift, but also letting them know that if they needed anything that we were there to help. This was also our way of opening that door of communication. I feel like it let them know that if they ever did have any questions, we were more than willing to answer any. 

Utilize the Internet

What better way to spread our love for Ramadan than to encourage a complete change in mindset that eliminates the “us vs. them” mentality?

It goes without saying that Muslims will often fall victim to the aggression, intolerance, and bias of the media. The truth is, media propaganda and hate-campaigns have been around since the times of the Prophets. In particular, Moses had to deal with a defamatory campaign, launched by the Pharaoh of Egypt, while all Moses had was himself, his brother, his staff, and a handful of followers amongst the oppressed community of Bani Israel.

Prophet Muhammad ( saw) had to deal with the smear campaigns by the likes of Abu Lahab and Abu Jahl, two of the most eloquent and powerful men of Arabia during their time. 

Hate spreads like wildfire, and it is only by the overwhelming Mercy of Allah that each Messenger “survives” the torture, even if it didn’t seem like it. At least we know that the ummah of Muhammad saw the religion through, so much so, that it has lasted until this very day.

The ummah today faces its own challenges, including a loud minority of Muslims who unfortunately peruse personal and political interests in the name of Islam, causing a lot of harm upon Muslims who only want to live in harmony in this world and the next. Unfortunately these few get magnified by the media.

Regardless of these challenges, it is important that Muslims remain united and not fall into despair. Allah changes the condition of those who strive to make changes for themselves. And what better way to work towards those changes, with just a couple of weeks left of Ramadan – it’s all in the blessings of the Holy Month.

May Allah (swt) continue to bless us, make us strong, and bring our communities together InshaAllah. Ameen

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family. 

Ramadan Re-boost!

Here we are, almost halfway through the blessed month of Ramadan, subhanAllah! While we should be grateful that there is still another half of Ramadan left, full of opportunities to do even more, many of us are feeling a bit down at this time of the month. We are disappointed in what we haven’t been able to accomplish so far, worried that the end of the month will be here before we know it, and lacking motivation or stamina to do more right now.

We go through these emotions every year: we start the month so strong and all of a sudden we just see the days go by and we become sad at the idea that Ramadan is almost over and that, this year again, we won’t accomplish our Ramadan goals. The good news is: it doesn’t have to be this way! Here are a few tips to get back on track insha’Allah.

It’s normal to feel like you are not doing enough

It’s okay to feel this way as long as we are not letting it discourage us from striving even more. For the believer, it’s a completely healthy thing to think that we could be doing more, that we haven’t done enough. Even competing with others in good deeds is something that is part of our deen, as long as we nurture those feelings and act upon them in a positive way.

Make sure to push away negative feelings and replace them with positive ones:

  • Envy/jealousy: feeling like others are doing better than you and it frustrates you? Say “Masha’Allah” and let them be your source of inspiration and motivation: what are they doing that you could do as well? Giving charity, making extra prayer, volunteering, showing good character? And make sure to thank Allah SWT for surrounding you with good examples.
  • Disappointment: feeling disappointed in yourself? Ask for Allah’s SWT forgiveness and help so that you can find ways to do more. Also remember that anything can be considered an act of worship if you set the intention to do it for the sake of Allah SWT alone! For instance: instead of reluctantly doing the dishes and feeling like you’re the only one taking care of house chores, have the intention to do those things to please Allah SWT and make your house a clean place during this blessed month! It’s also okay to ask the other household members to help with the chores, but ask nicely and let them do things their way. 
  • Lack of motivation: feeling like it’s already too late because you haven’t started Ramadan right? It’s never too late alhamdulillah!

The importance of the middle 10 days

It’s easy to lose sight of the importance of the middle 10 days of Ramadan because we are over our initial “emaan rush” of the first 10 days, maybe exhausted, and in a waiting mood for the last 10 days to search for Laylat ul-Qadr, and then celebrate Eid. But the middle 10 days are just as important because they are part of the blessed month of Ramadan and represent as many opportunities to seek Allah’s SWT forgiveness and do good deeds as the first 10 or last 10 days! 

Allah SWT has made the whole month of Ramadan a blessed and special time of year for Muslims, not just the first 10 and/or the last 10 days of it. So do your best not to neglect this time of the month, or think that you can relax now and do less so that you can do more in the last 10 days, you will lose the precious momentum of these middle 10 days.

 How do you spend your days during Ramadan?

Some studies conducted in Muslim countries in previous years have shown a huge increase in TV and online video streaming viewership during the month of Ramadan. This is most likely the case for Muslim homes in non-Muslim countries as well. Let’s give the benefit of the doubt and assume that there is a spike in interest in Islamic lectures and Quran recitation videos during this time of year.

Check yourself and be honest: how much time are you spending scrolling through social media posts, binge watching the latest shows, or watching the news for three hours straight before iftar?

It’s not too late to make a few changes to your daily routine! Ask Allah SWT for His help and try this out:

  • Whenever you feel like checking your social media, make dua instead.
  • Whenever you feel like watching another episode of that show, pick up the Quran and read instead, even if it’s a translation.
  • Whenever you feel yourself reaching out for that remote again, consider enrolling in a Quran class to keep you busy everyday at that time and increase your understanding of the Book of Allah SWT!

If you feel like you can’t do this on your own, ask a close friend to become your Ramadan buddy to check on you and help you be accountable. 

Make a plan for the remainder of Ramadan

If you didn’t make a plan prior to the start of Ramadan, or if you had one but haven’t been able to keep up, it’s not too late: just make a new one from now! Start over. 

Making a plan increases your chances of success. Of course, outcomes are always with Allah SWT, and all we can do is put in our best effort insha’Allah. But it’s difficult to put in efforts in something that hasn’t been planned, especially over such a long timeframe.

 Remember less is more but be consistent 

Sometimes all we need is to be more realistic with what we can and cannot achieve during Ramadan, especially when we have other obligations that we can’t push to the side for a whole month (work, studies, taking care of children especially when they are young, taking care of elderly parents, etc.). We start the month with a boost of emaan alhamdulillah, but we use it all up and by day 10 we are completely burnt out, and can’t even get up for suhoor anymore. Sometimes we even miss fajr, may Allah SWT forgive us.

Instead of pouring all of our energy and emaan all at once, let’s think about small deeds that we can do more consistently and while still keeping enough energy to fulfill our other duties. Remember that it’s better to fulfill our obligations (this includes praying our obligatory prayers on time, continue to be a good employee at work or a good student in school, taking care of and helping our families) and do less extra good deeds, than do many/big extra good deeds and fail at our obligations.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Make dhikr while doing the house chores, 
  • Automate daily payments to charities you want to support (it can be a small amount of money, whatever you can afford), 
  • Listen to a lecture about the Quran while cooking, and the list goes on…

Abu Huraira (may Allah SWT be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.” (Sunan Ibn Mājah 4240)

Focus on what you can do now

This is really important because our mind easily gets stuck on what we have – or haven’t – done in the past, what we have missed out on, and what the consequences might be. At the end of the day though, we cannot change what is behind us, and we have no power over the future, so let’s focus on the present.

Do ask for Allah’s SWT forgiveness for the wrong you have done, or for what you have not done while you should have, have hope that He SWT will grant it to you, and ask for His help moving forward. Then focus on what you can do in the present moment and work on your worship plan for the rest of the blessed month of Ramadan.

Ramadan is such a special time of year alhamdulillah! There is so much barakah (blessing) in it and so much we can gain from it, but we need to put in our best effort to make the most of it. Yes, the devils are chained and the gates of Hell are closed, but our nafs (our ego, our own self) is still here, wide awake, so don’t let it loose: put it to work in ways that are pleasing to Allah SWT so that you may earn the best of rewards in this Holy month insha’Allah.

The Prophet (saw) said about the blessed month of Ramadan: “And it is a month, the first ( part) of which is mercy, the middle ( part) of which is forgiveness, and the last ( part) of which is freedom from the Fire.” [ Ibn Khuzaimah] 

We are in the second 10 days of Ramadan. This is a time that we should ask Allah ( swt) for forgiveness. The Second Ashra (Second 10 Days of Ramadan) signifies the plead of “Astaghfaar”, translated as “Atonement” from ALLAH Almighty, for all the wrongdoings committed knowingly or unknowingly. These ten days of Ramadan are the days of Forgiveness, Seek ALLAH’s forgiveness and repent for all sins. May Allah SWT allow us all to reap the countless benefits and rewards of this blessed month and accept all our acts of worship, ameen! 

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family. 

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A Planned Murder-Suicide of Six: A Psychological Perspective Case Study

When someone is crying out for help, please do not drop the person and leave them. Please be an ear and a shoulder to cry on for them. Learn to be more empathetic to a person’s situation and hear them out.

Author: Maruf Hossain

         On April 5, 2021, two brothers Farhan and Tanvir Towhid, killed four family members and themselves as a murder-suicide case startled the Dallas, Texas, and Bengali communities. The horrific story startled the nation, which ended up being a pre-planned situation due to facing years of depression. Farhan, the lead culprit in planning this, wrote a suicide note explaining the whole situation and why he is doing this on his Instagram account. His explanation in taking the life of his beloved family was that there is no sadness in his immediate family after his death.

Farhan, who had been struggling with severe depression since 2016 in the 9th grade, writes about how he used to cut himself, sometimes multiple times a day, during tests. The psychological state of mind was undetected even by his psychiatrist. He explains how in the winter of 2016, he hit his breaking point and told his dad about his depression, and the dad put him in what he describes as a “teen mental health camp.” With taking medication that seemed to work, teaching coping mechanisms, getting into the University of Austin in Texas and its computer science program, and making good grades, it was still not enough to live. 

         Farhan describes how his life seemed to be perfect; he had it all. The education he wanted, the grades any desi parent would want for their child, a girlfriend to be by his side, living a healthier lifestyle by losing weight, so what could be the issue? No matter how perfect life was, depression was not something that was able to be resolved. He, later on, explains how these routine lifestyle people live their entire life was not the point of life. There had to be more to life than living a daily life where you repeat the same thing every day. The other aspect of all of this was his support system. His family seemed to be the only one there for him and be by his side. However, his friends eventually dropped, not knowing how to handle a child being depressed all the time. No matter what was going on in his life, he never found happiness. Ultimately, the ripple effects started to show in his life and his grades. People seemed to have started joking with him about being depressed, knowing he was medically depressed. Ultimately, no one in society except his family was there for him. And even then, the effectiveness of a “teen mental health camp” is questionable.


The Analysis

         Long story short, both brothers were depressed in life; however, we don’t know much about the brother Tanvir and his depression story, and they had planned the murder-suicide and carried out the plan. A case that startled the community and society at large still has a lot of questions than answers. The teenage years can be the most confusing and difficult times of any child’s life. Furthermore, having depression without understanding the root cause of the depression makes it that much difficult, from being depressed to sharing a story with his suitemate, dropping out of college, and then being immensely occupied by the popular show “The Office,” to ultimately not understanding the meaning of life due to a lack of happiness. 

         The older brother, Tanvir Towhid, came into Farhan’s room, and on February 21, 2021, made a proposition that if things can’t be fixed in a year, they would kill themselves and the family. Among the family, their mother, father, sister, and a visiting grandmother were the victims of the murder, and then Farhan and Tanvir taking their own life. As per the letter, if February 2021 was the day planned for the murder-suicide, then what happened between February 21 to April 5 for the whole situation to occur in 1.5 months from the day they planned this? 

I am willing to look at this from Carl Roger’s perspective of self-actualization. This whole situation is based on how Farhan viewed his situation, which Rogers focused on. To understand the meaning of life and self-actualize means for a person to understand their full potential. Of course, self-actualization in itself comes from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. 

         Rogers, in this case, would look at where the situation for Farhan and Towhid started falling apart. Unfortunately, it isn’t easy to understand these forms of the situation unless we knew more about this situation that caused this to occur. However, the climax in this situation seems to be how society left Farhan to be on his own. Society seemed to have never truly understood his situation and rather mock his disorder. His family looked to be the only one there for him, but this letter more so looked to have ultimately blame society for the demise. Hence, the takeaway from this case is to understand every individual for who they are. 


         I chose to understand this case study from Roger’s perspective because he always understood an individual from his Client-Centered Therapy Perspective. I believe everyone should understand individuals from a client-centered therapy perspective. Farhan and Towhid seemed to be two academically brilliant students who ultimately were looking for answers to the purpose of life and were hit by society’s way of shoving an individual to the side and not being there to understand and hear out an individual. Ultimately, by reading the suicide note, things might have started falling apart long before getting into college. 

         While Farhan was making good grades, had supportive parents, a girlfriend, and was at one point “popular,” his search for purpose in his life and being in a constant 24/7 depressed state drove people away from him. It is safe to assume he may have gone through a breakup in the 10th grade with his girlfriend as well. Much has not been answered, and surprisingly, almost a month of the case, and there hasn’t been any follow-up to the case by the authorities.

A few things to discover from a psychological perspective are understanding what this “teen mental health camp” was and how effective was it? An interview with Farhan’s psychiatrist at the camp should have been done to understand the situation. The takeaway message in all of this is dear society; always keep an eye out on your friends and peers. This world and its people are too cruel for innocent and young lives to be taken by such devastating situations. These situations can be prevented if only society cared enough to understand an individual and not bully every person different from the social norm.  

Concluding Remarks

         I have a personal connection and understanding of this situation because I also went through similar situations and was suicidal in high school. However, I also knew the religious consequences of my life from suicide. Every individual is different, and that should not mean an individual needs to suffer on their own. When someone is crying out for help, please do not drop the person and leave them. Please be an ear and a shoulder to cry on for them. Learn to be more empathetic to a person’s situation and hear them out. 

From an Islamic religious perspective, suicide is a major sin. Allah says in the Qur’an, Surah Nisa, And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. [Qur’an 4: 29]

And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason [Qur’an 6: 151].

We also know the hadith in which Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had stated as stated by Abu Huraira, Whoso hurls himself down from a mountain and thus kills himself will be in Hell hurling himself down therein, abiding therein and being accommodated therein forever; whoso takes poison and thus kills himself, his poison will be in his hand; he will be tasting it in Hell, always abiding therein, and being accommodated therein forever; and whoso kills himself with gun [lit., “piece of iron”], his gun will be in his hand; he will be shooting himself therewith against his belly in Hell, abiding therein and being accommodated therein forever.

In conclusion, with the Farhan and Towhid situation, it is still uncertain to say for sure what will happen to the two in the hereafter. We do not know the exact details of their situation to understand what led them to suicide. We should not assume anything bad and, in this case, assume anything at all about the two. We leave that to the hands of Allah. However, in the case of the family members killed, we hope Allah accepts them as shahid. 

Maruf Hossain has a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Hunter College and a Master of Arts in Psychology from PACE University in NYC. Maruf’s background is in developmental psychology, with his career in research staring in the summer of 2017 and his work in the field has been mainly on Autism. Maruf joined Amirazz, formerly known as Muslim Marriage Matrimonials, in January 2019, starting in the adverts team, moving to the member approval team as a manager, and now serving in the Amirazz executive board. He hopes to lead the counseling and therapy section of Amirazz in the future.

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Day 2 Tips For Reverts Struggling

Author: Rebecca Pena

Practice as much as you can

He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise. – The Prophet Muhammad (Tirmidhi)

As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices that come with the beautiful faith.  The struggles that we face are difficult and will take some time to adjust and get used to this new and beautiful way of life. Please remember that this is all new to you, so you need time to adjust. You need to remember awkward moments are bound to happen. Let it happen and do things at your own pace. Remember Allah swt knows your intentions. 

You don’t need to do everything at once. You don’t suddenly need to start covering or start waking up for Tahajjud (extra prayers) in the morning. Ease yourself into it so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. If you have problems with certain practices, then take your time in learning how to do them properly. 

Pray Constantly 

Make constant prayer to Allah, take a deep breath and carry on at your own pace. You will get there InshaAllah!  Do read the Qur’an whenever possible with meaning, or just the meanings if you’re new to it so that you understand what is being said. It’s important to read the Quran with meaning as this is the book that is untouched. It gives you the most authentic advice, straight from Allah (SWT). When you have just reverted everything can seem overwhelming. Prayer is how we connect with Allah swt. Keeping this connection strong will help us to feel His constant guidance, comfort, and peace. 

Remember To Respect your Parents

You’ve made a huge decision and reverted to Islam. How do you handle things with your family who are non-muslims? What do you do when they not only do not understand, but are completely against the choice you have made? It is important to keep a good relationship with your family, whether they are Muslim or not. You never know when someone may be inspired by you! Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion if they are not happy about your choice. Instead, talk about other things that you may have in common or enjoy doing together. If your parents are quite upset about you reverting, and talking about it seems to create uncomfortable situations, avoid talking about it all together. Wait until they calm down a little bit. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but remember your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist. They will also accept that you’re not suddenly going to start preaching to them 24/7.They will soon realize that you are the same person that you have always been, even better. InshaAllah.

If you’re able to show them compassion, love and patience they will at least start to respect your decision. They may even take a genuine interest in trying to understand Islam. Arguing with them, being rude, being overly defensive will just cause heartache for both of you and confirm to them that you have chosen the wrong religion. And to be honest, you are actually showing them the opposite of what Islam is really about. Also, don’t break up with non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (SWT) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.

Yes, struggles as a revert Muslim are there, but you don’t have to make things worse for yourself by assuming certain things are no longer allowed. You will only end up isolating yourself and end up depressed. 

Don’t Get Discouraged

Being a revert, you will face a lot of trials and tests.  But remember with every test comes ease. Allah (SWT) guided you towards Islam and He will continue to guide you. Remember whatever struggles you have, never look for people to ease your struggles, your ultimate goal should always be to seek solace and guidance from Allah (SWT). Also, keep in mind, born Muslims have their own struggles. Some of them are led down the wrong path, some don’t even know much about Islam despite being born into such a beautiful religion. Yes, struggles as a revert Muslim will be there but everyone is fighting their own battles, never assume that someone else can help you, you need to keep faith in Allah. Spread love and knowledge and InshaAllah, Allah swt will also provide you with guidance and support.

Find Your People

Another one of the biggest struggles revert Muslims face is loneliness. You have just told some of your family and friends that you’ve made the biggest decision of your life and you find that many of them either take a step back or walk away all together. On top of that you have had a hard time finding your own circle of support.Try to find local community groups or other people nearby that may also be going through what you’re going through. That way you can have weekly lunches, study sessions on Islam etc. If you cannot find anyone within your community or nearby, then there are many Facebook groups with Muslim sisters in that you can join. Alhamdulillah. I found a huge support system through the many support groups on Facebook. Before Amirazz there were many sister groups. 

Remember Who You Are

Being a Muslim is now a part of your identity. But this doesn’t mean that you have to cut off everything from your previous life. You can still keep your name unless it has a forbidden or undesirable meaning. A lot of revert Muslims can have the mistaken belief that you have to change your name. Also, some things are just common sense. Vegetables are still ok to eat, reading this may feel weird but fish, vegetables, rice etc at non-muslim barbecues are still allowed, they don’t become haram as these are permissible foods. A lot of things will still be allowed, but often new Muslims will get confused as to what is halal or haram. So you can barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic commands, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. If you like Sunday roast, you can still have it as long as it is beef and halal. There are so many things that are cultural, that people will try to pass off as religious, make sure to do your research for the correct information. It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinions and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern.Remember Islam is not intended to make things difficult. So don’t make things harder on yourself. These opinions and ideas are here to help us not make things harder. 

Find A Good Islamic Teacher

It is good to have a teacher who understands the different opinions in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Finding a teacher is important, one with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and western culture is important. It is difficult to listen to someone that may not know what he is talking about, especially those that have come from back home, as they mix up culture a lot. You may have to test out a few teachers before you find a good one. Going to Islamic circles and talking to other brothers/sisters will help, as they can help guide you on teachers that are helpful and understanding and also teachers that carry a broad range of knowledge.

All in all, remember that you were guided to this beautiful way of life for a reason. If definitely was not intended to make your life harder. If you are going through any of these struggles we do have resources at Amirazz that can help. Please remember that you are not alone. May Allah swt give us strength and  make our journey easy for us InshaAllah.

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family. 

Egyptian Marriage Traditions (PART 3): Henna party and Wedding Party

Author: Marisa Lopez

 I am going to complete today the episode of the Egyptian marriage customs of the Muslim community.


We have already talked about how they know each other, how they propose for  marriage, how they get engaged and what religious and civil marriage is. .

Today we are going to talk about the bachelor party (henna) and the wedding party (farah).

3IMA 

Before entering these two points, I would like to comment on something important in the days before the wedding. The bride takes all her belongings to her future new home, then a civil contract is made called  3ima where the bride details point by point all the furniture and furnishings that are in the house, including the shabka, whether she bought them or not and the groom, once completed, has to sign it. This serves so that in case of divorce, she can take everything without problems.

HENNA PARTY

The henna party takes place the night before the wedding or sometimes a couple of nights before and is technically what in Spain is known as a bachelor party. The women of the family meet at the bride’s house, where they bring a woman  to paint the henna to the bride, if she wants or any of the guests.  Of course with food and music and dancing. Henna parties for me are much more fun than weddings.

For their side, the groom and his male friends and relatives meet at the groom’s house also to eat and dance as well.

WEDDING PARTY (FARAH)

And finally the big day that every Egyptian woman has been waiting for since she was little, her wedding day.

The day starts early in the beauty salon with waxing sessions, Turkish bath and massage.

Some brides do their hair and make-up in the same salon and already dress there and the groom picks them up in a car decorated for the occasion and then they go to the photo session in a studio or in some historical places, styled in the Baron’s Palace.  , Citadel  etc All this accompanied by family and friends of the couple.

Other brides hire a room in the place where the wedding is to be held and they dress, do their hair and do their makeup there and then they do the photo session.

Once the photo session is over, the bride and groom and their cortege go to the room where the celebration will take place. Upon arrival, a folk group called Zaffa will receive them with music and will accompany them to the kosha where they will be seated during the wedding.  He brings them a drink called sharbat and it is a kind of super sweet grenadine.

 Family and friends of course will take photos with the couple and the music and dance will begin. In case the marriage contract has not been signed, it will be done at this time.

Something that caught my attention in Egyptian weddings is that the food is served last and is mostly buffet, which is completely different in Spain that the banquet comes first and is served and the dance is later.

At this point in the wedding, the mother of the groom shows the shabka to the guests and the groom puts it back on the bride. Before opening the banquet, the cake is brought and the bride and groom cut it and feed each other.


The shows during weddings differ according to the budget of each one and their social and religious level. Some put on music and people dance joyfully to the songs.

Once the buffet is open, and everyone has dinner, the bride and groom head to their new home to spend the wedding night accompanied by their procession.

At home, the mother of the bride will have prepared a tray with food. When my daughter got married, I prepared  stuffed pigeons, pasta with béchamel, soup, kofta and roast chicken and kakh el arousa which are stuffed cookies and  covered with sugar. I also left them chocolates and sable pastries to offer to the guests the next day.

The next day, it is called sabaheya and the couple begin to receive visits in the afternoon from their families and friends to give them gifts and congratulations.

 Normally the next day the bride and groom usually go out for the honeymoon, shahar el 3sal.

About the Author: Marisa Lopez Chicote is an event planner and mother of 5, living in Cairo and Muslim since 1985 alhamdullah. I love travelling and cooking.

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