Relocating for a Beautiful Intercultural Marriage: Living in Indonesia as an American

 

By: Ali A. Karim

The year 2020 was a new and exciting begining for me. I met a wonderful lady from Indonesia a few years back and we decided to get married after communicating for sometime. I realised I had found the right person for me and I moved to Indonesia. 

We live in a city called Bandung, which is about two hours drive from Jakarta, the capital city. As a foreigner, I noticed how different things are done culturally in Indonesia. Many things are different from what I was used to in the United States of America, of course not in a negative way. Here I will mention some of my personal experiences, please understand that not all will encounter the same situation, it depends on the community around the person and the area they live in.

Rice, Rice, and Rice

Indonesian staple food is rice. They eat rice three times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

There is a saying that If you have not eaten rice, then you haven’t eaten yet. Even most of the snacks are made from rice or rice flour.

Here is a true and interesting story: 

 

A brother that I know told me about his experience when he went to a pizza place. That was his first time going there. When his order arrived, which was a pan of pizza, he was so angry and dissapointed because it didn’t come with rice. He was so unimpressed that the manager had to intervene. The manager of the place had to calm him down and gave explanations on why rice was not served as part of the Pizza. That is how much they love rice!

Motorcycles

Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle. I have been riding on the back of motorbikes. My wife still remembers how I was against it at the begining of my stay in Indonesia, but here I am now, a pure Indonesian, riding on the back of a motorcycle holding things like an expert enjoying a flamboyant motorcade. 

When I said Indonesians can move the world on the back of a motorcycle, I mean in many ways than one; refrigerators, washing machines, goats, ladders and a family of five, yes a family of five! To paint a clear picture of how a family of five can ride a motorcycle in this beautiful new home of mine, here is an idea: the oldest child is in the front of the father who is riding the motorbike, the second child is between the father and mother, and the mother is holding and nursing the baby. It’s normal to see three, four or five on the motorbikes.

Their outfit when riding a motorcycle is another thing to write home about. Sometimes I see the riders wearing a thick jacket or a leather jacket during day time at 90F, but they also wear their jacket when the weather is cool, yet they still wear shorts and flip flops, leaving me to think don’t their waists and legs feel cold?

The Stares

Depending on the area, a foreigner will most probably get some stares. Yes, everybody stares, from an old lady in a rickshaw who turned her head 180 degrees to a motorbike rider, a gas station employee, to a six months old baby on his mom’s lap. All have stared at me from head to toe and from toe to head. Some of them have enough courage to say “Hi” and try to start a conversation. Some kids just yelled behind my back and call me “Hey Arab!”.

I understand that I do not look like most people in Indonesia and they are confused on what to call me and who I am. To make it even distinct, I am somehow easier to recognize since my body height is taller than most Indonesian men, but for me, my appearance should not be a reason for people to stare because I am a human being like everybody else. Afterall, we are Bani Adam.

Gotong Royong

It is translated as Communal work. A few months ago I was lucky enough to participate in a gotong royong, we were working to fix one of our neighbour’s house. The house owner name is Pak Dodo, he was forced to rent another house because his own house is unlivable since the roof was severely damaged. The community leader was organizing a comittee and asking people to participate, in any way, financially, physically or just with moral support. Everybody is working and participating in any way. We finally finished the project in less than a week and Pak Dodo can live in his own house again, Alhamdulillah. This is how the muslim community should be, everyone should help when one is in need or when something needs to be done for the public. 

Halal Food and Adhan

Masājid or mosques are everywhere and most food are halal. Indonesia has a high population of Muslims hence, you can find mosques easily, almost in every corner of the street. I used to say jokingly to my friends in the US, that we hear adhān more than 5 times a day, because the mosques are close to each other. When one starts the adhan, the other starts to say the azan as well.

Going back to food, I have been gaining weight since I moved here, so you know the food is good especially when your wife is an excellent cook! 

For newcomers, you can easily find halal food just around the corner. My first Indonesian word is “Ayam” which means “chicken” because I can easily spot this word everywhere. Mie Ayam, Bubur Ayam, Ayam Goreng, Ayam Geprek, Soto Ayam and more ayam. Chickens have a rough life here. LOL.

It is always in my prayers to let me out of the USA, alhamdulillah Allah answered my prayers and I moved to the largest muslim country in the world. I thank Allah for my wife and for my new life. My advice for those who are willing to move to Indonesia are be open minded and keep yourself informed that Indonesia is a huge country with different cultures and languages, make good relationships with the locals and treat others as human and you will be treated as human.

About the author: Ali A. Karim is  an artist by nature. History enthusiast. Muslim by choice. He considers Arts as the culture of humanity. To him, Art tells the history of the world. Art is the truth and proof of God. Just look at HIS creation.