Day 2 Tips For Reverts Struggling

Author: Rebecca Pena

Practice as much as you can

He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise. – The Prophet Muhammad (Tirmidhi)

As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices that come with the beautiful faith.  The struggles that we face are difficult and will take some time to adjust and get used to this new and beautiful way of life. Please remember that this is all new to you, so you need time to adjust. You need to remember awkward moments are bound to happen. Let it happen and do things at your own pace. Remember Allah swt knows your intentions. 

You don’t need to do everything at once. You don’t suddenly need to start covering or start waking up for Tahajjud (extra prayers) in the morning. Ease yourself into it so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. If you have problems with certain practices, then take your time in learning how to do them properly. 

Pray Constantly 

Make constant prayer to Allah, take a deep breath and carry on at your own pace. You will get there InshaAllah!  Do read the Qur’an whenever possible with meaning, or just the meanings if you’re new to it so that you understand what is being said. It’s important to read the Quran with meaning as this is the book that is untouched. It gives you the most authentic advice, straight from Allah (SWT). When you have just reverted everything can seem overwhelming. Prayer is how we connect with Allah swt. Keeping this connection strong will help us to feel His constant guidance, comfort, and peace. 

Remember To Respect your Parents

You’ve made a huge decision and reverted to Islam. How do you handle things with your family who are non-muslims? What do you do when they not only do not understand, but are completely against the choice you have made? It is important to keep a good relationship with your family, whether they are Muslim or not. You never know when someone may be inspired by you! Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion if they are not happy about your choice. Instead, talk about other things that you may have in common or enjoy doing together. If your parents are quite upset about you reverting, and talking about it seems to create uncomfortable situations, avoid talking about it all together. Wait until they calm down a little bit. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but remember your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist. They will also accept that you’re not suddenly going to start preaching to them 24/7.They will soon realize that you are the same person that you have always been, even better. InshaAllah.

If you’re able to show them compassion, love and patience they will at least start to respect your decision. They may even take a genuine interest in trying to understand Islam. Arguing with them, being rude, being overly defensive will just cause heartache for both of you and confirm to them that you have chosen the wrong religion. And to be honest, you are actually showing them the opposite of what Islam is really about. Also, don’t break up with non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (SWT) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.

Yes, struggles as a revert Muslim are there, but you don’t have to make things worse for yourself by assuming certain things are no longer allowed. You will only end up isolating yourself and end up depressed. 

Don’t Get Discouraged

Being a revert, you will face a lot of trials and tests.  But remember with every test comes ease. Allah (SWT) guided you towards Islam and He will continue to guide you. Remember whatever struggles you have, never look for people to ease your struggles, your ultimate goal should always be to seek solace and guidance from Allah (SWT). Also, keep in mind, born Muslims have their own struggles. Some of them are led down the wrong path, some don’t even know much about Islam despite being born into such a beautiful religion. Yes, struggles as a revert Muslim will be there but everyone is fighting their own battles, never assume that someone else can help you, you need to keep faith in Allah. Spread love and knowledge and InshaAllah, Allah swt will also provide you with guidance and support.

Find Your People

Another one of the biggest struggles revert Muslims face is loneliness. You have just told some of your family and friends that you’ve made the biggest decision of your life and you find that many of them either take a step back or walk away all together. On top of that you have had a hard time finding your own circle of support.Try to find local community groups or other people nearby that may also be going through what you’re going through. That way you can have weekly lunches, study sessions on Islam etc. If you cannot find anyone within your community or nearby, then there are many Facebook groups with Muslim sisters in that you can join. Alhamdulillah. I found a huge support system through the many support groups on Facebook. Before Amirazz there were many sister groups. 

Remember Who You Are

Being a Muslim is now a part of your identity. But this doesn’t mean that you have to cut off everything from your previous life. You can still keep your name unless it has a forbidden or undesirable meaning. A lot of revert Muslims can have the mistaken belief that you have to change your name. Also, some things are just common sense. Vegetables are still ok to eat, reading this may feel weird but fish, vegetables, rice etc at non-muslim barbecues are still allowed, they don’t become haram as these are permissible foods. A lot of things will still be allowed, but often new Muslims will get confused as to what is halal or haram. So you can barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic commands, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. If you like Sunday roast, you can still have it as long as it is beef and halal. There are so many things that are cultural, that people will try to pass off as religious, make sure to do your research for the correct information. It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinions and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern.Remember Islam is not intended to make things difficult. So don’t make things harder on yourself. These opinions and ideas are here to help us not make things harder. 

Find A Good Islamic Teacher

It is good to have a teacher who understands the different opinions in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Finding a teacher is important, one with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and western culture is important. It is difficult to listen to someone that may not know what he is talking about, especially those that have come from back home, as they mix up culture a lot. You may have to test out a few teachers before you find a good one. Going to Islamic circles and talking to other brothers/sisters will help, as they can help guide you on teachers that are helpful and understanding and also teachers that carry a broad range of knowledge.

All in all, remember that you were guided to this beautiful way of life for a reason. If definitely was not intended to make your life harder. If you are going through any of these struggles we do have resources at Amirazz that can help. Please remember that you are not alone. May Allah swt give us strength and  make our journey easy for us InshaAllah.

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family.