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EGYPTIAN FATTAH STORY AND RECIPE

History of the dish

Fattah is thought to have evolved from a Pharaonic dish called Fotat according to a number of prominent Egyptologists. Fotat was made by soaking dried old bread in a meat stock or in yogurt. The name Fotat means crumbs or small pieces in Egyptian Arabic. While the role of the dish is not exactly clear in Pharaonic society, it seems to have been eaten in Egypt since time immemorial. The ancient Egyptians were extremely fond of garlic in their food, as they believed it warded off evil spirits and that it provided strength and vitality to the human body, it is possible that if Fattah was a Pharaonic dish then the garlic was part of their recipe. The Coptic Egyptians are the modern day descendants of Ancient Egyptians and so it is possible that they kept the dish alive throughout the millennia and made changes along the way. (It’s hard to verify the origins of dishes from 2000 years ago.

Fattah was popularized as a dish during the Fatamid Dynasties rule of Egypt (969 – 1171 AD). During Eid the Fatamid rulers would throw street feasts, where people from all walks of life were welcome, the main dish served at these feasts was Fattah. This was likely due to the simplicity in scaling up the dish, but also the efficient use of meat when creating a stock. 

The dish became known as the People’s dish as it was eaten by rich and poor alike. Sometime in the 19th century when tomatoes spread like wildfire in the Ottoman empire, the tomato sauce was added to the dish. In some cities in Egypt, it is still eaten without the tomato sauce to this day.

This recipe is based on the one I learned from my mother in law who was a great chef!  

Ingredients for the meat:

1 kilo veal meat

5 cup (50 g) diced carrot

5 cup (50 g) diced onions

1 cup (100 g)  diced celery

0.7 oz (20 g) whole cardamom

0.35 oz (10 g) bay leaves

0.35 oz (10g) black pepper corn

1 tbsp (17 g) salt

1 tbsp of cumin

6 cups of water

Elaboration:

1. Put the meat, carrots, onion, celery, cardamom, cumin, bay leaves and peppercorns in a pan  and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to medium-low, cover and simmer the meat for 60 minutes or longer, until it is tender

2. Strain and reserve three cups of the broth. Set the meat aside. Discard the solids.

3. The meat should be fried in ghee or olive oil before served on the top of the dish

Ingredients for the rice:

1 cup rice (200 g) white short grain rice

2 tbsp. (28 g) unsalted butter or ghee

½ tbsp. (8.5 g)  salt

3 cups (0.7 L) water

Elaboration:

1. While the meat is braising, wash the rice well under running water and drain.

2. Heat  two tablespoons of butter in a deep saucepan over medium-high heat  and stir for a minute. Add the rice and stir for another minute.

3. Add the salt and water and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to very low, cover the saucepan and simmer for 20 to 25 minutes, or until all the liquid is absorbed.

Ingredients for the sauce:

2 tbsp. (28 g) olive oil

3 tbsp. (45 g) minced garlic

100 g (3.5 oz) diced fresh tomatoes and their juices

½ cup (118 mL) water

½ cup (118 mL) white vinegar

1 tbsp. (17 g) cumin

½ tbsp. (8.5 g) white pepper

½ tbsp (8.5 g) salt

Elaboration:

1. Heat the olive oil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and stir continuously until it is golden.

2. Stir in the tomatoes, water, vinegar, cumin, salt and white pepper. Heat until they come to a boil.

Ingredients for the bread:

2 pieces pita bread

2 tbsp. (28 g)  unsalted butter

2 to 3 cups meat broth reserved from cooking the meat

Elaboration:

1. Cut the bread into bite-sized squares. Heat the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the bread and stir until it is crisp.

2. Starting with two cups of the meat broth, gradually add broth to the bread and stir until the bread is just soft. (Add up to three cups if necessary.) Drain off any unabsorbed broth and discard.

To plate the dish

1. Arrange the bread evenly on a large serving platter.

2. Spread the rice over the bread and sprinkle some of the sauce  over the rice.

3. Place the fried meat on top and serve immediately.

About the Author: Marisa Lopez Chicote is an event planner and mother of 5, living in Cairo and Muslim since 1985, alhamdullah. She loves travelling and cooking.

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THE EID IN EGYPT

 

 

THE EID IN EGYPT 

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh, Very good morning to everyone .

We enter the final stretch of Ramadan and the most important days and we approach Eid el Fitr, or Breakfast Festival, 3 days of celebration of the end of Ramadan.

This Eid together with the Eid Adha, or the sacrifice are the only two festivals recognized by the Islamic tradition.

This year, as has happened with Ramadan, will be an atypical Eid to the normal ones and I am going to tell you a little for those who do not know it, the most important traditions in Egypt.

 The exact date of Eid, like the beginning of Ramadan, is announced by the Mufti, the country’s highest Islamic religious authority and is based on the sighting of the new moon.

SALAT EL EID

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Muslims this day get up early, this time not for suhoor but to attend the communal Eid prayer in the mosques.

This prayer is celebrated around 5 in the morning and is attended as a family, children and adults, men and women.  

Muslims will gather in mosques or open spaces and offer two units of prayer – called “Rakat”. The prayers are followed by a sermon, in which the imam asks for forgiveness, mercy, and peace for every being across the world.

Other key elements of the Eid celebrations are giving money to the poor (known as ‘Zakat al-Fitr’, the amount to be given depends on the possessions someone has), sending Eid greetings and feasting with families.

BREAKFAST WITH KAHK

The typical sweets of the Egyptian Eid are KAHK (I have shared the recipe) , a pastry filled with dates or dried fruits and covered with icing sugar, Ghorayebat, a super soft cookie that melts in your mouth, Petit Four, the typical tea pastries of a lifetime and  the Biscuit Nashader some cookies with different flavors.

These sweets are traditionally made at home.  Formerly all the neighbors participated and children and adults sat down to mold kahk that was then taken to the large ovens of the bakeries to bake

 Currently each one is baked and molded at home and many people buy it made. I personally do it at home because it has nothing to do with the outside and you control the quality of the ingredients and of course it is much cheaper!

 It is believed that the kahk comes from the Pharaonic era since they have found engravings in several tombs of the Valley of the Kings. Another stories dated kahk from 10th century as we explain in the post of Kahk recipe.

 NEW CLOTHING AND THE EIDIYA

 The “eidiyat” is an amount of money that we receive from our beloved relatives for each Eid. The “eidiya” has always been in Egypt since generations, with its name changing throughout times and different types of gifts serving as “eidiya”.

Originally, the “eidiya” is derived from the word “Eid”which means “giving” or “kindness”, the colloquial word is used  by people for the money and gifts that were distributed by the state during the two seasons of Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha.Also, the names given to the word “eidiya” differed throughout the ages.

According to historical accounts, the tradition of “eidiya” during Eid originated in Egypt during the Fatimid era, and they were known by several names at the time, among them were “drawings” and “expansion”, and the Fatimids were keen to distribute cash and clothes to citizens during the seasons of both Eid el Fitr and Eid el Adha. Eid el Fitr is followed after the holy month Ramadan, hence, the name “fitr” and Eid al Adhanamed after the traditional ritual which is sacrificing a sheep with the intention of giving people in need meat, hence the word “adha”.

The tradition of “eidiya” continued throughout the Mumluk realm, however, the name changed to Jamic “الجامكية،which specify to “buying new clothes”, hence, the concept of  buying new clothes during Eid. By time the word to was altered to “eidiya”.

The value of it varied according to the social status. Some people offered  “eidiya”  in the forms of gold, dinars, while others were receiving dinars of silver, while the princes and senior statesmen were offering them “eidiya” in the form of a plate filled with golden dinars in addition to candy and fine food, as a gift from the ruler.

But during the Ottoman era, the way to offer Eidiya varied greatly, instead of being presented to the princes in the form of gold dinars, they became presented as gifts and cash for children.

This tradition has continued to the present day, but it is currently being presented in an attractive and innovative way.

 LUNCH IN FAMILY

On the first day of Eid, the family meets at the parents’ house and everyone has lunch together. Many families make fish with ringa and fesih since many Egyptians do not eat fish during Ramadan.

 VISITS AND TRAVEL

In addition to visiting relatives, visiting monuments and gardens is very normal during Eid, so all the places are packed and it is a total burden

Many people in recent years also travel to the beaches to spend a few days there, which also makes the beaches an anthill.

 For me the best thing to do during Eid is stay at home because every single place is crowded 

This year I’m afraid there aren’t many more options.

 Have a nice day Gomaa Mubarak!

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Laylat Al Qadr: The Night of Power

 

 

Laylat Al Qadr: The Night of Power

What Is Laylat Al Qadr?

Laylat Al Qadr is considered the holiest night of the year for Muslims, and is traditionally celebrated on the 27th day of Ramadan. It is known as the “Night of Power,” and commemorates the night that the Quran was first revealed to the Prophet Muhammad SAW. The Prophet Muhammad SAW did not mention exactly when the Night of Power would be, although most scholars believe it falls on one of the odd-numbered nights of the final ten days of Ramadan, such as the 19th, 21st, 23rd, 25th, or 27th days of Ramadan. It is most widely believed to fall on the 27th day of Ramadan.

The Quran says in Surat Al-Qadr,

We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power:

And what will explain to thee what the night of power is?

The Night of Power is better than a thousand months.

Therein come down the angels and the Spirit by Allah’s permission, on every errand:

Peace!…This until the rise of morn!

The importance of this night is also mentioned in hadith, which are the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad as remembered by his companions:

Whoever establishes the prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards (not to show off) then all his past sins will be forgiven. Hadith, Bukhari Vol 1, Book 2:34.

Here are some things that we can do before, on, and after The Night of Power

1. Take some time off for Allah

We take a break from our jobs for almost everything in life. Why not this time to focus on worshiping and thanking our Creator. If this is not possible at least take a few days off if you can. This will also enable you to do Itikaf. 

2. Do Itikaf

It was a practice of the Prophet to spend the last ten days and nights of Ramadan in the masjid for Itikaf. Those in Itikaf stay in the masjid all this time, performing various forms of zikr (the remembrance of Allah), like doing extra Salat, recitation and study of the Quran. They do not go outside the masjid except in case of emergencies, therefore, they sleep in the masjid. Their families or the masjid administration takes care of their food needs. Itikaf of a shorter period of time, like one night, a day or a couple of days is encouraged as well. Itikaf of 3 days starts from the 27th night of Ramadan. The pandemic may interfere with any gatherings at the masjid, so check with your local masjid. 

3. Make this special Dua

Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: I asked the Messenger of Allah: ‘O Messenger of Allah, if I know what night is the night of Qadr, what should I say during it?’ He said: ‘Say: O Allah, You are pardoning and You love to pardon, so pardon me.’ “(Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi).

4. Recite the Quran and Reflect on it’s Meaning

Perhaps you can choose Surahs or passages from the Quran which you have heard in Tarawih this past Ramadan to recite. If you attend a class where the recitation of the Quran is taught, this is a great time to put your knowledge into practice. We should always take any opportunity that we have to read the Quran and reflect on it’s meaning. Choose your favorite Surahs and read their translation. Then think deeply about their meaning and how it affects you on a personal level.

5. Eliminate Your Sins

Abu Huraira narrated that the Messenger said: Whoever stands (in prayer) in Laylatul Qadr while nourishing his faith with self-evaluation, expecting reward from Allah, will have all of his previous sins forgiven. [Bukhari and Muslim).

Try to make your prayers longer, deeper and more meaningful. If you are familiar with longer Surahs, read the translation and explanation and then pray reciting these Surahs, while reflecting on the meaning while you pray. Even if you are only familiar with the shorter Surahs, read the translation and explanation beforehand, and then pray reflecting on the message of the Surahs. This is a good way to develop the habit of concentration, even in regular prayers, where many of us tend to be easily distracted.

6. Make A List of Personal Duas

Ask yourself what you really want from Allah. Make a list of each and everything, no matter how small or how big it is. Allah loves to hear from us. Once this list is ready, you can do three things:

  • Ask Allah to give you those things
  • Think about what actions you have taken to get those things
  • Develop a work plan to get those things in future.

7. Evaluate yourself.

Ask yourself those questions that need to be asked. Do an evaluation of where you are and where you are going. Let this evaluation lead you to feel happiness for the good you have done and remorse for the bad you have done. Feeling remorse should make it easier to seek Allah’s sincere forgiveness when making dua.

8. Make sincere Duas

One of the best times to do this is during the last part of the 27th night of Ramadan.

Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet said: When the last one-third of the night remains, our Lord, the Glorious One descends towards the heaven of the earth and proclaims: Who is that who supplicates for Me, and I grant his supplication? Who is that who begs Me for anything and I grant it to him? And who is that who seeks My forgiveness, and I forgive him? (Bukhari, Muslim).

That means for instance, waking up one hour before Suhoor time to ask Allah for anything and everything you want that is Halal. This can be done using the Duas of the Sunnah, but also Dua in your own language, with sincerity and conviction.

9. Have Iftar with the family

With many of us having to continue to work, chances are we have missed out on a lot of family time. Now is the time, during these last few days that we should make the maximum effort to spend with our family.

10. Take the family to Tarawih

Have you or your spouse and kids missed Tarawih most of Ramadan because of work or other commitments? If so, do all of yourselves a favor and bring everyone for Tarawih in these last ten nights.

11. Read a Book about The Prophet SAW

Read about the Prophet’s life, which can increase your love for him and Islam by seeing how much he struggled for Allah’s sake. It may inspire you to push yourself even harder during these last ten nights. This community is built on sacrifice.

12. Make a Plan for the Next Year 

Once you’ve done a self-evaluation, you can plan on where you want to go, at least in the next 12 months. Laylatul Qadr is a great night to be thinking about this (without taking away from your worship), since you’ll Insha Allah, be in a more contemplative state. You may choose to dedicate one night of power for evaluation and one night for planning for the next year.

13. Make a to do list for the Night of Power

Make a to do checklist for each Night of Power. This should define how you would like your night, the one better than a thousand months, to be used. Pick things from this list and define the sequence you would like to do things in. This will help you avoid wasting your time in unproductive chats which are common in the festive atmosphere of Masjids at the Night of Power.

May all of our Duas be accepted and answered on this special night. Ameen InshaAllah

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family. 

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Lessons of Ramadan

Lessons of Ramadan

We’ve now almost come to the end of Ramadan. Throughout this month, in obedience to Allah swt, Muslims have been fasting from sunrise to sunset as a practice of self-discipline and remembrance of those who do not have a regular source of food and water. During Ramadan, alongside abstaining from food, water and sexual contact during daylight hours, Muslims are also expected to be increasingly mindful of their behaviour and speech and often engage in extra charitable giving and nightly prayers.There’s a popular misconception in non-Muslim majority countries that Ramadan is about fasting. It’s understandable that people would have this impression. But Ramadan’s not only about fasting. Even fasting isn’t about fasting. Here’s what Ramadan is actually about, and what we, regardless of our religious views, can learn from it.

Reflection

First and foremost, Ramadan is a month of reflection. Ramadan is a recognition that we live fast-paced lives. We’re always concentrating on today. How much money did we make? How many hours did we spend in the office? Will we be able to cover our bills? Are we gaining too much weight? Do we need to work harder for that promotion? And so on. Ramadan is the one time of the year when we stop, and take a look at our lives. When we fast, we automatically break our routines. Our breakfast routines, snack routines, lunch routines, dinner routines, even our sleep routines. And when we break our routines, we are forced to take a look at our lives and reevaluate. Are we happy with our habits? Are we satisfied with where we are in our lives? What have we done over the past year? Have we reached the goals that we set for ourselves? It is similar to setting a New Year’s resolution, except we have an entire month to think about where we are and where we want to be. When we reflect we force ourselves to take a step back and to take a look into our own lives and determine whether or not we are happy with what we see. During this time of reflection we should also be thinking about where we are in life, where we want to be, and if we are not yet there, how are we going to get there?

Breaking Bad Habits and Building New Ones

I have read that it takes anywhere from 21 to 90 days to break or build an old or new habit.Ramadan gives us about four weeks to do just that. Muslims use Ramadan as an opportunity to reflect on the positive habits they can implement in their lives as well as eliminate any bad ones. For many Muslims it’s become tradition for us to challenge ourselves to build good habits over the month of Ramadan. This is effective because many around us are also doing this. We are all supporting each other to build better daily habits during this holy month. It could be going to the gym, incorporating more exercise, reading more, or simply working on breaking a bad habit. When someone breaks their normal routine by staying away from food, they have to build a new routine for the month of Ramadan. And this is a great opportunity to build in new, good habits into your daily routine. As we  build our new routines, we should begin to  incorporate new daily habits. Keep it small. Small actions that we can maintain consistently sometimes yield the biggest effects. What do we want to achieve? What do we wish was part of our daily life?

Balance

Ramadan is about staying grounded and maintaining balance.Fasting in Ramadan is seen as more than another act of worship. It helps people to keep balance in their lives. How? Because when we spend a day refraining from food, and we  spend a night praying or reading the Quran, we are reminded that there’s more to life outside of our day job and our bills and our worries. We are reminded that there’s something else out there. That something may just be a more realistic perspective of the diversity of the world we live in. We are connected to millions of people around the world who are also refraining from food. We become aware that some of them are in war-zones, some in hospitals, others in palaces. We realise that the world won’t end if we don’t submit our report on time and turn it in late. And life goes on. The world goes on. When we realise that life goes on, we are able to let go of our excess stress, therefore finding balance and priorities in our lives. Remember that there’s more to life outside of this moment, outside of today. Find something that keeps us balanced, and keeps us connected with others around the globe. Remember that the earth still spins round, and that life still goes on. When we find our balance, we then need to consider what our priorities are. What’s worth staying up at night for? What’s the worst that could happen? When we let go of our fears and our stresses, and we consider our priorities in life, we then are able to focus on a lot of the good things that can happen in our lives. 

Seeking Closeness to Allah

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

“Allah said: Whosoever shows enmity to a friend of Mine, I shall be at war with him. My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than the obligatory duties that I have placed upon him. My servant continues to draw nearer to Me with optional deeds so that I shall love him.” {qluetip title=[6]}Related by al-Bukhari (11/481), from Abu Hurayrah radiallahu ‘anhu.{/qluetip}

So drawing closer to Allah – the Most Perfect – in this blessed month, can be achieved by fulfilling one’s obligatory duties; and also reciting the Qur’an and reflecting upon its meanings, increasing in kindness and in giving charity, in making du’a (supplication) to Allah, attending the Tarawih Prayer, seeking out Laylatul-Qadr (the Night of Power and Pre-Decree), a night which is better than a thousand months, attending gatherings of knowledge, and striving in our actions that will cause the heart to draw closer to Allah swt and to gain His forgiveness. Our level of striving in this blessed month should be greater than our striving to worship Allah in any other month, due to the rewards that Allah has placed in it. 

Patience

Imam Ahmad (d. 241H) – rahimahullah – said:

“Allah has mentioned sabr (patience) in over ninety places in His Book.”{qluetip title=[9]}Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in Madarij as-Salikin (2/152).{/qluetip}

Patience in Islam is not about adopting a passive attitude. The Qur’an does not teach us to remain silent, but neither does it encourage confrontation. Life is a mix of challenges, with everyone having the freedom to do as they wish and live the life that they see fit. This, of course, means that there will be times when another person’s freedom is not compatible with our own. However, only Allah (SWT) has the power to take that freedom away. This is not something that any human has and this must be respected. Instead, this means showing patience/sabr to any challenges faced and managing patience to face them successfully. Doing so brings reward in the eyes of Allah (SWT).

“Indeed, he who fears Allah and is patient, then indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.” [Yusuf: 90]

So fasting is a means of learning self restraint and patience. With patience we are able to strengthen ourselves to worship Allah alone, with sincerity, and also cope with life’s ups and downs. So for example,  with patience we are able to perform our prayers calmly and correctly. Obtaining patience gives us the ability to approach things in life in a more calm and collective manner. Having patients comes with many benefits and rewards, the greatest one being we gain a closeness to Allah swt. 

Unity

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

“Fast when they fast, and break your fast when they break their fast, and sacrifice the day they sacrifice.” Related by at-Tirmidhi (no. 693), form Abu Hurayrah radiallahu ‘anhu. It was authenticated by al-Albani in as-Sahihah (no. 224).

During this blessed month we are able to sense an increased feeling of unity due to our fasting and our breaking our fasts collectively. We also feel an increased awareness about the state of our Muslim brothers and sisters and the hardships that we endure because: 

“During the fast, a Muslim feels and experiences what his needy and hungry brothers and sisters feel, who are forced to go without food and drink for many many days – as occurs today to many of the Muslims in Africa.”From the words of Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Aziz ibn Baz, as occurs in Majmu’ Fatawa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah (5/211). Indeed, the units of the Muslims – and their aiding and assisting one another – is one of the great fundamentals upon which the Religion of Islam is built, as Allah – the Most High – said:

“And hold fast altogether to the rope of Allah and do not be divided.” [Al-Qur’an 3:103]

“The Believers – men and women – and friends and protectors to one another.” [Al-Qur’an 9:44]

Here we can see that that Islam lays great importnace in bringing hearts together and encourages togetherness. This is not only reflected during the month of Ramadan, but through other acts of worship as well.

We have been ordered by the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam to pray the five daily Prayers in congregation, and that it has been made twenty-seven times more rewardful than praying it individually.{qluetip title=[23]}Related by al-Bukhari (2/109) and Muslim (no. 650), from Ibn ‘Umar radiallahu ‘anhu.

Thus Ramadan is a time for a sense of unity and our commitment to Allah swt and His religion.  So we ask Allah to grant us the ability to change ourselves for the better, during this blessed month, and not to be of those who are prevented from His Mercy and Forgiveness. Indeed He is the One who Hears and He is the One to Respond. May we all gain closeness to Allah swt and gain the most that we can from this holy month and become closer to Him. InshaAllah.

Sister Rebecca is a SAHM living in Houston Texas. Married for 13 years with two children, and a revert since 2014,  her hobbies include cooking, reading, and spending time with family. 

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Egyptian Weika

As we said before Bamia (Okra) is one of the most commonly eaten dishes in Egypt, and is cooked in several ways. 

Bamia Weika is one of the most famous Upper Egyptian recipes, where the instrument (mefraak) is used to mash the vegetables, a method that itself extends from pharaonic times. 

The Pharaonic name for okra mentioned in Harris’ papyrus is bano, and Maspiro briefly mentions finding the remains of this plant.

There are three types of okra, which differ in appearance and flavor:

Falahi (farmer) okra is characterized by its dark green color and by the presence of fine, hair like thorns on the sides, which must be removed during preparation.

Rumi okra has a light green color and no thorn.

Red okra is similar to rumi okra, but it has a reddish cap. The red color may extend to the pod.

TOP TIP: Okra is cleaned by finely peeling the ridges to remove the thorns and by turning the okra around a knife to remove the hard cap giving it a conical shape.

Remember that when preparing Weika Bamia, you must select large pods with large seeds.

Children in Islam

Like anybody else, children have rights in Islam. These rights must be ensured by their parents first and foremost, and then older siblings, relatives, domestic workers, neighbors, teachers, local and national leaders, community and society at large. In a word: EVERYBODY!

Children have a right to housing, food, clothing, medical care, education, love, guidance, kindness to mention some.

Depending on the financial status of the parents/guardians, these rights must be ensured in the best manner possible. That means decent housing, good and safe food etc. A rich family that let’s their children live in squalor is a violation of their rights. And a low income family that pretends to be rich might be equally be transgressing through lying by commission or omission.

Basically, give the children the best you can, from your provision, not forgetting the future but also not completely living in the present alone.

Children have a right to play, too. It’s one of the ways they fully develop as they learn languages, interpersonal skills and team work.

One of the mistakes some parents are falling into these days is denying their kids this right, insisting on kids always having their heads in one book or the other. On the other hand, we have some parents who let their kids play almost all the time. Giving a young kid a smart phone, even with parental guidance restrictions, might not be as good an idea as it appears. If they know the value of the phone, that might be a problem (a kind of high horse-holier-than-thou attitude and if they don’t, that too is a problem (who cares?)

There should be time for school if they’re at that level, time for homework, time for games and time for play. Games help children develop an all round analytic and deductive ability around certain problems and plays keeps their bodies healthy and fit. And it’s at this point where another right must be remembered: time to learn about their faith!

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Kids need to learn how to pray, read the Qur’an and their rights over parents and others, and parents rights over them. Prayer does not only teach submission to Allah and authority, it teaches time management and discipline. Prayer will also have them yearning to learn and understand more of the Qur’an which will in turn open a door for them into Hadith.

Unless they’re going to a school that offers secular and Islamic education, they need to learn Islam at home. While at this, remember kids are more likely to do as you do than as you say, so set a good example.

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Islam will teach them manners and respect and a lot more, and it’s all on you as a parent to set the ball rolling in the right direction.

Children also have a right to own property (commensurate with their age hopefully or in trust), inheritance and a voice in the home especially in matters that directly affect them.

Once you have them dressing decently, they have a right to choose what articles of clothing they want, and in what colors. It’s also important to provide for them meals that they love, within reason of course long as they’re healthy!

For parents with the means, kids must have their own rooms, which builds in them acknowledgement of property and ownership, builds independence and fosters responsibility. They should learn to clean and organize their room (lay beds, arrange books, out shoes in one place, hang clean clothes and deposit dirty clothes where they should).

Children need to grow up helping their parents with house chores, it’s one of the ways to learn to take care of them in their old age and to realize doing chores is not a punishment or degrading pastime!

My mom, Allah bless and grant her Jannatul Firdaus with all other parents, tells I that when I was three or slightly younger, everytime a visitor would arrive at home, I’d go into the kitchen and try to pour water into the kettle and if there was water, I’d put it on the stove (never mind the stove was cold!) Anyone care to guess where I might have learned that?

Well, it’s hard for anyone to come to my home and leave empty handed or on an empty stomach! Now much as I reap some rewards there, my mother also does because she was the good teacher who had me on that journey way back.

Children have a right to NOT hear or see their parents heatedly arguing or fighting and it’s important to remember that Islam forbids domestic violence, it’s reprehensible and barbaric and backward and very misguiding. If a mother abuses the dad (mostly it will be verbal) a girl child will grow up thinking dad’s should be abused if mothers feel in them at kind of mood. A boy child will most likely copy what the dad does and says too. If the sad is physically aggressive, the boy will grow thinking if a husband doesn’t like something, he can use his superior physical strength in that manner!

So, a married couple should hide all manner of bad behavior and any private behavior, from their and others’ kids.

I was about twelve when I first discovered that parents and teachers also use the bathroom! Up to that point, I used to think that it was only for kids and couldn’t wait to grow up and stop going to the bathroom. I grew up in a place where bathrooms were combo (toilet and shower) yes, but even when we would go to the village where the latrine was a few meters (sometimes 50 plus) away, one wouldn’t really tell. Village parents always went to pick coffee beans or bring banana leaves to use in steaming food to check for fruit etc. So you’d see them coming back with something and believe it.

Children have a right to always see love, affection, care, kindness, co-operation, team work, etc. Otherwise we are messing up the next generation. And we shall have to account for it to the Creator on a day nobody will be in the mood for any minus to whatever little good they’ll be presented with!

Parents shouldn’t back bite others in front of their kids because the kids will think it’s okay and pick it up, or even at some point tell whoever was the subject of the back biting what happened, either in anger or innocent exchange of dialogue! Besides, it’s one of the worst sins for a Muslim/ah!

May Allah grant us pious spouses and offspring and may He make us great parents and strong, loving, caring individuals beneficial to our families and society!

This article was written by Ahmad who has since left this world. O Allah, forgive Ahmed-Hamid Woody Bagala-Alina and elevate his station among those who are guided. Send him along the path of those who came before, and forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds. Enlarge for him his grave and shed light upon him in it.

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