Author: Ahmed-Hamid Woody Bagala-Alina

Children in Islam

Like anybody else, children have rights in Islam. These rights must be ensured by their parents first and foremost, and then older siblings, relatives, domestic workers, neighbors, teachers, local and national leaders, community and society at large. In a word: EVERYBODY!

Children have a right to housing, food, clothing, medical care, education, love, guidance, kindness to mention some.

Depending on the financial status of the parents/guardians, these rights must be ensured in the best manner possible. That means decent housing, good and safe food etc. A rich family that let’s their children live in squalor is a violation of their rights. And a low income family that pretends to be rich might be equally be transgressing through lying by commission or omission.

Basically, give the children the best you can, from your provision, not forgetting the future but also not completely living in the present alone.

Children have a right to play, too. It’s one of the ways they fully develop as they learn languages, interpersonal skills and team work.

One of the mistakes some parents are falling into these days is denying their kids this right, insisting on kids always having their heads in one book or the other. On the other hand, we have some parents who let their kids play almost all the time. Giving a young kid a smart phone, even with parental guidance restrictions, might not be as good an idea as it appears. If they know the value of the phone, that might be a problem (a kind of high horse-holier-than-thou attitude and if they don’t, that too is a problem (who cares?)

There should be time for school if they’re at that level, time for homework, time for games and time for play. Games help children develop an all round analytic and deductive ability around certain problems and plays keeps their bodies healthy and fit. And it’s at this point where another right must be remembered: time to learn about their faith!

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Kids need to learn how to pray, read the Qur’an and their rights over parents and others, and parents rights over them. Prayer does not only teach submission to Allah and authority, it teaches time management and discipline. Prayer will also have them yearning to learn and understand more of the Qur’an which will in turn open a door for them into Hadith.

Unless they’re going to a school that offers secular and Islamic education, they need to learn Islam at home. While at this, remember kids are more likely to do as you do than as you say, so set a good example.

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Islam will teach them manners and respect and a lot more, and it’s all on you as a parent to set the ball rolling in the right direction.

Children also have a right to own property (commensurate with their age hopefully or in trust), inheritance and a voice in the home especially in matters that directly affect them.

Once you have them dressing decently, they have a right to choose what articles of clothing they want, and in what colors. It’s also important to provide for them meals that they love, within reason of course long as they’re healthy!

For parents with the means, kids must have their own rooms, which builds in them acknowledgement of property and ownership, builds independence and fosters responsibility. They should learn to clean and organize their room (lay beds, arrange books, out shoes in one place, hang clean clothes and deposit dirty clothes where they should).

Children need to grow up helping their parents with house chores, it’s one of the ways to learn to take care of them in their old age and to realize doing chores is not a punishment or degrading pastime!

My mom, Allah bless and grant her Jannatul Firdaus with all other parents, tells I that when I was three or slightly younger, everytime a visitor would arrive at home, I’d go into the kitchen and try to pour water into the kettle and if there was water, I’d put it on the stove (never mind the stove was cold!) Anyone care to guess where I might have learned that?

Well, it’s hard for anyone to come to my home and leave empty handed or on an empty stomach! Now much as I reap some rewards there, my mother also does because she was the good teacher who had me on that journey way back.

Children have a right to NOT hear or see their parents heatedly arguing or fighting and it’s important to remember that Islam forbids domestic violence, it’s reprehensible and barbaric and backward and very misguiding. If a mother abuses the dad (mostly it will be verbal) a girl child will grow up thinking dad’s should be abused if mothers feel in them at kind of mood. A boy child will most likely copy what the dad does and says too. If the sad is physically aggressive, the boy will grow thinking if a husband doesn’t like something, he can use his superior physical strength in that manner!

So, a married couple should hide all manner of bad behavior and any private behavior, from their and others’ kids.

I was about twelve when I first discovered that parents and teachers also use the bathroom! Up to that point, I used to think that it was only for kids and couldn’t wait to grow up and stop going to the bathroom. I grew up in a place where bathrooms were combo (toilet and shower) yes, but even when we would go to the village where the latrine was a few meters (sometimes 50 plus) away, one wouldn’t really tell. Village parents always went to pick coffee beans or bring banana leaves to use in steaming food to check for fruit etc. So you’d see them coming back with something and believe it.

Children have a right to always see love, affection, care, kindness, co-operation, team work, etc. Otherwise we are messing up the next generation. And we shall have to account for it to the Creator on a day nobody will be in the mood for any minus to whatever little good they’ll be presented with!

Parents shouldn’t back bite others in front of their kids because the kids will think it’s okay and pick it up, or even at some point tell whoever was the subject of the back biting what happened, either in anger or innocent exchange of dialogue! Besides, it’s one of the worst sins for a Muslim/ah!

May Allah grant us pious spouses and offspring and may He make us great parents and strong, loving, caring individuals beneficial to our families and society!

This article was written by Ahmad who has since left this world. O Allah, forgive Ahmed-Hamid Woody Bagala-Alina and elevate his station among those who are guided. Send him along the path of those who came before, and forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds. Enlarge for him his grave and shed light upon him in it.

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